i have been through major surgeries for my back in the last 2 years and im 15 years old. my dad doesn't ask me how i feel. he makes appointments with doctors and stuff and wont tell me until 3 days before. he doesn't care about my feelings and constantly tells me my opinion doesn't matter because he is my father and whether it works in my favor or not he will choose my doctor and hospital. I need another surgery next year and he is so hell bent on me not having my current doctor perform it. i love my doctor. how do i get him to understand how miserable i feel. i cant even be in the same room with him anymore. I cant talk to him anymore. he wont even ask me how i feel about a new doctor. he just does and if i dont agree he screams at me. he has told me once that i brought evil in the house. he tells me how poor we'll be because of the hospital bills. He has said he hates my doctor because i have had infection and he thinks its his fault. Help!
2007-07-04 22:06:02 · 12 answers · asked by Ava M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like your dad is not only stressed out about what is happening to you, but also that he is looking out for you. We all have our own perceptions of people and his are different from yours. You may like your doctor, but maybe there is a reason why he doesn't. He makes the appointments for you. He gets you there. He may not ask you how you are doing because he already knows that you might be feeling pretty terrible. However, he is going about the stress thing all wrong and I'm sorry for that. Unless things get better, in his eyes, financially he just might continue to be like that. Rest asurred that he no doubt does love you. Because you guys are having a bad issue right now, just go up to him, give him a hug, and say I love you. Thank him for being there and doing those things for you. Maybe he feels a bit unappreciated. Hell, maybe a big part of him feels that the reason why you need surgeries is somewhat his fault. Parents are weird in thinking that they should be able to control what happens to their kids. They often take the blame when something bad happens to them. And this could be the reason why he says what he does.
2007-07-11 09:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mastershake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your dad is under a lot of stress about this whole situation. I'm sure he loves you and wants the best for you. He wants you to be healed and as you have said, you've been through 'major surgerie(s)' in the past two years. It's true that he's probably getting into some major debt over this, not that it's your fault, but it's a big load on his back unless he has good insurance. He wants to change doctors because he doesn't see any progress and it's very hard on a parent to see his/her child suffer.
I don't know why he would say you brought evil in the house. I believe it's just because of the stress of the situation taking its toll on him. Have you taken the time to tell him how much you appreciate him?...Have you said, 'Dad, thank you for doing all that you have to help me...I love you Dad!'
It could be that he needs a bit of encouragement from his son. Let him know how much you appreciate him. Be honest and let him know how you feel about your doctor and have a 'conversation' with him about where you both are coming from and why you feel the way you do...
Right now your dad is feeling pressure from the hospital/doctor bills, pressure from his son who 'seems' to be fighting against him, and all the other pressures of trying to work and support the family. Knock him off his feet by giving him a big hug, tell him you love him and that you respect his decision, I'll bet you'll see a major shift in his attitude as well as yours. -- Good Luck!
2007-07-11 02:19:25 · answer #2 · answered by Domino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably a lot that you do not understand about the decisions your dad is making. Sounds like he has legit concerns with your MD if he feels there was an infection that could have been prevented. I'm sure your dad only has your best interests in mind and the best thing is for you to just talk to him and ask him to explain what the issues are.
2007-07-10 04:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by patriciaannbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him give you a good reason for changing doctors because maybe it could be for the best and if he can't come up with a good reason then tell your father that now if something goes wrong while I'm doing the operation just because he changed doctors , tell him he will hate his self for the rest of his life tell him he needs to think about things before he does it , because in most cases when changing doctors with some people there is always something that goes wrong check for more info for himself say it while crying let him know that you're scared make him feel bad for not listening be brave and good luck ; )
2007-07-09 19:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by Loyalty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dad is a classic headcase. there is not something you could likely do to assist him he desires expert help and if hes something like lots of the folk like that, hes a grasp manipulator and could turn it lower back on you and you will finally end up feeling like a canines for not giving him a 0.33, forth, or 40-fourth hazard. So now its fairly as much as you, not greater loans, shared autos, delivers, dangling illnesses would be used in case you do not enable it. Its a ailment, yet one he enjoys too plenty to stop, so all you're able to do is distance your self. Oh, and one greater element, in case you will desire to stay his doormat, then hide the credit enjoying cards and alter those you have, and hide your checkbook too, substitute your passwords on you workstation oftentimes and placed a lock on your mailbox so he won't be in a position to get into it. If he steals your credit lower back document it and enable him attempt to manage the cops. Hes not greater suitable than a thief and a liar, and he's chuffed that way, so stay out of his way.
2016-09-29 02:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how very hard this must be for him as well, to see your baby hurting and you can't take away the pain.Maybe there is something to his feelings towards your Doctor,think about it, the man is suppose to be helping you get better and you ended up with an infection which could have killed HIS baby! most men have a hard time not being the decision maker, especially when they are working so hard and long to pay for them. lighten up on him, I am sure he only wants you to be well and alive. He loves you!
2007-07-12 12:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what your dad has said to you he loves you. And it is up to him what doctor you see. It is always hard on any family that someone who is sick. And thing are said when you feel lost and helpless. Try to love each other. you'll understand more as you get older. May God Bless you both.
2007-07-09 08:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a situation where you need to try and contact the patient advocate. if you can talk to you Dr about getting you in touch with one then that may work. what role does your mom play in all this. but you should also praying about it because these are some of the tough times you are going through but you need to be strong. I will be praying for you.
2007-07-04 22:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
you can always call your doctor and discuss with him
or a pastor
mom?
your dad has some fear of loosing you. you should tell him you know this and it will all turn out ok.
how about asking dad to take you to church and talk it out there
but no yelling he has to promis that or you better get out side help soon.
2007-07-12 07:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by in_chic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad and u need to get counciling. I have worked in home health care for over 23 years. Often paient and family disagree on treatment. Please keep in mind he has your best intrests at heart.
2007-07-11 08:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by Laura F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋