4 years ago I found out the man I believed to be my childs father wasn't.. The only other person was the man that abused me I don't know his name or nothing, I tried to put the situaition behind me. Now I wonder who my daughters father is how can I find out who this man is without having a name?
2007-07-04 21:07:45 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Call 311( that is if you live in New York) and tell them that you want a DNA test done.
If you live in another state call the operator which is "0" and tell them that you want the number of the place where DNA is done!
2007-07-04 21:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man abused (raped?) you. You and your daughter don't need this abuser in your lives. Trying to put this situation behind you is the best thing to do, not inviting this man back into your lives.
If the man you believed to be her father until 4 years ago is willing to accept her as his own, that's good. Otherwise, you can raise your daughter without a father. In this sort of situation, it may be better for her not to have a dad than have a rapist for a dad. When she's old enough to understand, you can explain things to her.
2007-07-05 19:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you tried to put the situation behind you right? Well what happened in your past should stay in your past and I am pretty sure you don't want to have to go through all that hurt and pain again. No matter who the father is, you still have a blessing which is your child. Continue to love her and raise her with TLC. It's the modern days and women are raising kids on their own. You can do it also. I am sorry for what has happened to you and I wish you the best.
2007-07-05 09:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by chiquitabonitaboriqua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for both u and ur daughter is to stay away from this man.....and who gave u the idea in the first place....ur daughter can lead a beautiful life even with out a father figure. dont do this to ur daughter. and mind u...she is a girl too. for a evil man like him,....he wouldnt mind doing the same thing to his daughter. stop living in the past. it hurts ..i know but for ur daughter's sake try to move on..and u will find a better Man.
good luck
2007-07-06 23:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by funnybone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just wonder how you could find out that the abuser was the father. Anyway, I don think it will be of any use trying and if at all you try, you may make a lot of bad publicity and end up in failure. Think again.
2007-07-05 08:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by aWellWisher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So.. what you will do after finding that person. Try giving him a nice hug or something else for giving you an unwanted mental damage...?
Do you want that man's shadow in your daughter's life? I don't think so.
You should forget such things because neither of you would be happy after seeing each other or do you expect him to meet you and say sorry for what he die and accept both of you..... and you live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
That's really insane and hyper-emotional to do so. Dont do it. Just give good education to your daughter and enough courage to fight out this bad world and prevent her facing such situations in her life.
Bye. Take Care.
2007-07-06 08:08:54 · answer #6 · answered by A2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry for your misfortune in life. I'm a single mother of three boys, (made out of LOVE) And the BASTARD has not seen, called, or paid enough child support. My children were young when I divorced 11yrs ago. He committed adultery; he abused us emotionally, mentally, verbally, and almost physically (tried to beat us). Until i said no more. My children only know one PERSON and that is ME (MOMMY) who never abandoned them, never harmed them, and will not allow them to suffer any emotional pain from their absent biological father. You should do the same there is only one TRUE LOVE and that is of a MOTHER. You are best telling your child that her dad died in a terrible accident, or went to war and that is the last your heard from a friend. Or tell the true "YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE HE IS OR LIVES"..."I'm sorry sweetheart, please forgive me". Or if the child ask about his name, just say you forgot his name that he had some weird European last name that you could not even pronounce or spell to please forgive you for being naive and ignorant. In order to protect yourself and the child from abuse you have to chose to forget about him totally. If you chose to tell your child about your terrible experience from the past, you will crush her person completely and destroy her inside. Sometimes you have to take things to the grave in order to protect the ones you love. (my children do not know he is married with kids, I just tell them he probably remarried again, I 'm truly sorry for picking a dead beat dad for you guys, I didn't know any better.....) Do not feel bad about your predicament, you have been blessed with a beautiful child that will bring you joy. Love her, protect her from all evil, and be strong! You are a fighter and a believer things will get better for you. Do not make an attempt to find this evil man...please he will destroy your life and your beautiful daughter. My children do not even ask about their dad since they were 7,6, and 4. Now they are 15,14, and 11. I 've been blessed with a beautiful, wonderful, generous man, whom decided to help me finish raising my three boys 3yrs ago as their only father in life. And I am greatful to him and God for finding the right person for me and my family.
Good-Luck
BE STRONG, YOU ARE A SURVIVOR, AND A GOOD PERSON
2007-07-05 04:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by Gatikabela 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is it important to find your daughter's father? Say you find him, he enters your daughter's life.....and ruins her life--and yours. Now, is it really worth it to find the guy???
Life as a single mom is tough--but life can get heart-breaking if you find someone who evidently doesn't want to be found; you and your daughter are way way better off.
Focus more on being the good mom. I pray God will send you the good decent man worthy of your and your daughter's love; one that will make you both happy.
2007-07-05 04:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and go on enjoying . Why who is father, who is mother. Keep this a secret, otherwise you have ruined your ultimate poisnous now you will loose the happiness of your child. Your child will also see to you with a disdain.
So keep quite.
Anita
2007-07-05 04:38:09 · answer #9 · answered by anita d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shower as much love as only you can on your child and forget about the abuser. Carry on with your life and do not dwell on unwanted memories.
2007-07-05 08:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by ven_god_ky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋