What can I do to help this person who has been through so much?

Question

It all started 8 years ago. My friend and I were in a movie and my friend had a complte meltdown. I had to bring her out of the movie. I asked her what was wrong and she admitted to me that a scene in that movie made her have a horrible flash back. When I asked her what she admitted to me that she had been molested by he uncle since she was 7for 8 years . I couldn't beleive it. She told her parents and they confronted her Uncle and Aunt about it who denied it. Her parents brought them to court but they lost because they couldn't prove that is happened. Pretty much their entire family disowned her and her parents after that. Then my friend came out and said she was lesbian. Then she tried to kill herself& she almost died. Now she is having a gender change and she is becoming a man. Ive tried to stick by my friend this entire time but it is so hard because her family is having a very hard time accepting her sex change and thearapy does not help her I feel like I have to be her family and

it weighs me down emotionally...I really want to do something for her but I cannot be her only support because her problms are too big for me to handle. What should I do?

Answer 1

Keep being her friend, but make sure she's not the only one in your circle that you hang out with--you need some relief, and that's okay.

She's got a mountain of issues--encourage her to continue therapy. I thought that the doctors wouldn't do a gender change operation if there were severe psychological issues.

Encourage her to find a spiritual base that will accept her; I think either United Church of Christ (UCC) and/or Unitarians have an open-door/come-as-you-are policy as far as transgender persons go. Having a spiritual backbone will help her deal with her issues better.

Answer 2

If you feel that it is emotionally draining for you to keep supporting your friend, move on with your life and be a long distance friend who she can get in touch with now and then. No one would blame you for that. Everyone has their own problems and they all have to learn to handle them, themselves. Also, would this friend stand by you as much as you have done for her. That should give you your answer as to how much more support you should give her.

Answer 3

i hate family who says they have "unconditional love" but prove theirselves wrong....stay by your friend and support her with everything..make sure she knows you are there to talk too all the time...it is hard but make sure she knows that things will die down soon...i myself...have been in most of her situation,,....aall of it except the sex change part....therapy will not help..there is nothing therapy can do.that you cannot accept ask for money..so just stick by her......thats all you can do

Answer 4

You need to be with people that lift you up not down. This friend of yours and her/him have self inflicted problems and should be mature enough to handle them or their own. This is not your problem you deserve happiness.

Answer 5

Schedule an appointment for/with your friend to see
a P.h.D.--a psychologist, NOT a psychaitrist.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Just pray for her and be there for her thats about all you can do. Perhaps she needs to see a therapist

Answer 7

you can't handle anyone else's problems, they have to do it themselves. Just keep being a friend.

Answer 8

wow, just stop worring about it, let her live her life as she see's fit, if she is happy why shouldnt you be happy for her or him

Answer 9

...ask God....then listen...really listen for the answer...it will come and when it does, you will know it's from God...trust, trust, trust