One of my bridesmaids had two children. On the wedding invitation I sent it to my bridesmaid and "guest" along with her oldest child. When i received the response card back she had added her youngest child's name to the response card, mind you the child is two and out of control. I told my bridesmaid my reasoning for not having small children at the wedding. Quite frankly I don't want screaming kids in the background as a I recite my vows etc... Kids are so unpredictable. Of course I explained it nicer than that. My girlfriend complied, but then brough both children to the formal reception. I am happy to report no disasters and there are no hard feelings. I am just having trouble understanding why she felt compelled to do this and really believes babies should attend weddings....
2007-07-04 14:14:32 · 18 answers · asked by kelly m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
that is very rude. then she went and lied on top of it? i am glad things went well, but that was very wrong of her. -___- i would not ask her to do anything important in the future if she is going to lie like that. if their name is not on the invite, that means they are not invited to the ceremony or the reception PERIOD!
2007-07-04 14:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Now, if you were talking about just a regular invitation to your wedding, and you put "And guest" without having "Adult reception" on the invitation, then you have allowed your guest to bring whomever they want. If they want to bring their child as their guest, there is nothing on the invite that says they can't.
Having said that...If you told your bridesmaid you were having an adults only reception, explained your reason to her, and she agreed....but then brought the child anyway...Wow. That is such a rude slap in the face. She completely disrespected your clear wishes. I would have been pretty upset.
2007-07-05 04:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said you invited her, her oldest child, "and guest", which means she could put anyone in the "and guest" part, and that ended up being her youngest.
You had no disasters and no hard feelings, so just let it slide.
Personally I'd be put off that you invited one child but not the other. It should have been both or none. If the youngest didn't go, the oldest could have been a brat and teased her younger sister like crazy about how she could go and her sister couldn't.
2007-07-05 01:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is rude to bring any uninvited guest to a wedding.
It is good that it ended well.
Some people feel compelled to bring their children with them everywhere. Its better she brought the child than not show up as a bridesmaid. Maybe she just didn't want extra expenses of a babysitter, being a bridesmaid can be expensive.
2007-07-04 14:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by no_frills 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Debate is heated on both sides of the kids issue. Some people see it as excluding the family while others see it as a romantic night out.
That being said, yes, it was very rude. Not only did you specifically address the invite to NOT include the younger child but you made it clear verbally that you didn't want them there and she brought them anyway. It's not something I would ruin a friendship over, especially since there weren't any issues but it was definately rude of her to bring them.
2007-07-04 14:40:54 · answer #5 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's very rude to bring an uninvited child to a wedding. The child was certaintly uninvited! So then it will start a whole comottion! The bride or the Groom will be mad.
2007-07-04 14:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by Soulja Girl! 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is rude if the child was not invited, I can understand people not wanting to leave their child at home, but if they feel that way then they should not attend either, that is the same as bringing any uninvited person.
2007-07-04 23:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel compelled to ask you why you thought it would be ok to invite the oldest child and not the youngest child as well. In this case you should have held the same standard across the board, no children allowed and left it at that. By excluding this child, even at a young age, is definatly not the right impression to make with his older sibling. I think you could have shown more compassion on that.
However, it is your wedding, you paid for it and it was your decision to make. Your friend should have respected your wishes and left it at that. On the flip side, maybe there was baby-sitter problems, maybe the 2 year old is still being breask-fed, its not unheard of, there may be special circumstances that you are not completely aware of (as it was your special day and had more pressing matters on your mind the day of your wedding... like how am I going to pee in this dress?).
I'm wondering if these two children were there for the entire reception or just happened to drop by for a visit... I think you might be over-reacting to this, no harm, no foul. However, had their been harm and foul, you could have been looking at disaster and possibly the end of your friendship with her (but people would have remembered your wedding in more then a passing glance). So why would she risk your friendship to bring her child? Unless of course, there is something happening there that you were not aware of.
2007-07-04 14:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 4⤋
Yes it is rude.
However people pussyfoot around trying not to hurt any one's feelings. If it is truly no kids then being firm and vocal from the get go before there can be any mistakes and wiggle room is the way to go.
On the other hand if it meant more to her to have the kids there than it hurt you... I'd let it go
2007-07-04 17:34:16 · answer #9 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a bit rude and not really "good etiquette", but when you invite one child she may have assumes that both woyuld be fine, especially since she was in the wedding party. and 2 years olds can often be a lot of great fun at weddings, as long as they have some coloring books and someone to dance with. besides, iof her other kid is old enough, I'm sure he/she will manage the other one.
2007-07-04 16:02:58 · answer #10 · answered by Erica S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is bad etiquette to bring ANY uninvited person to a wedding or formal invitation-only event.
2007-07-04 19:44:17 · answer #11 · answered by trancegoddess2001 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋