my best friend is 20 years old.
she's not your ordinary 20 year old.
she has the best personality and is extremely mature. she is so wise. & i am so serious about all of this. if you were to meet her you would think she is the best person.
now she had been talking with this man who is very highly respected because he is a 1st drill sergeant in the marines and he used to play pro football. he's an amazing guy. and very, very attractive. but he has a 22 year old daughter and a 18 year old son.
they seem perfect together, but my friend is scared out of her mind that the age difference will ruin things. they are perfect together though. it's not your typical old guy young girl relationship. its different!
oh yeah... they are not in a relationship yet, but they talk everyday and they go on dates and makeout, but that's it i think. they talk about it all the time but my friend is scared. and i wanna help her.
so please give me helpful advice!
2007-07-04 13:36:20 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this whole thing has been going on for about 6 months now.
2007-07-04 13:44:06 · update #1
my rule of thumb is if they are old enough to be my father....NO!...having kids the same age or OLDER than me....it does not seem like they would have a lot in common.
2007-07-04 13:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called robbing the cradle. I do know that a long time ago when women and men had set gender roles that it didn't matter the age difference. These days, I think it does. While I do believe that it is good for the man to be a little older than you, therefore, more mature than other men at 20 years old, I think that 45 is too much of a difference. You will just have too much differences in generation gaps. This is really important. He would have been born in like the early 1960s. If you do see though that you have similar values and thoughts and ideas about how to live your everyday lives then maybe it can work. But you have to think about whether you would be able to settle conflict among yourselves because of the generation gap you have between you. This relationship may be very hard for you. I would probably go for someone younger unless you can establish similarities between the two of you. If there are things that you wouldn't be able to get along with or agree and compromise over...don't even try. There are marriage counselors that will tell you the same thing in terms of whether your relationship will work together or not. Some problems just can't be resolved. Good luck!
2016-04-01 07:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be falling in love; he may just be fulfilling a nasty fantasy..this is primarily about HIS character...at his age he has to take the long view, and offer her guidance for her own best good...uh, as is she were his daughter...
If she's got a "daddy" complex, this thing should stop.
Precociously mature young girls can still have them. As her friend, you already know if she's got one or not.
Finally, this hinges a LOT on the ability of the 22 year
old daughter to be accepting and encouraging of the whole
deal, for she in the long run, has to accept your friend as a step-mom, if things work out. Family, and what they think, always matters> It never doesen't matter. It will always come back and bite you on the _ss.. Especially if you're showing it!
"Running away together to some remote exotic island or mountain top; "somewhere where they can't find us!"...", sounds very romantic but it sucks. It only works in poetry ,not real life.
2007-07-04 15:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Recital Vinyliste 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
**$#%^! Just missed another one .
Seems strange from the outside, but as long as it's not from the inside, it's OK . I've never been there, can't imagine being in that situation, but have known three such couples.Seemed normal after getting used to it.
I don't feel any different than when I was 25 ( as far as I can tell; - I'm 44) . Probably am in reality , but I don't conciously notice . My mind tends to ignore what my body tells me . ("Hey! This is your right knee. Knock it off . I can't take this abuse anymore . You're going to be sorry later.) ;D In other words, unless somebody else reminds me, I can forget my age. Your friend shouldn't let worrying about the age difference ruin it ,if she FEELS fine with it Just proceed normally, & whatever happens, happens .
ps . It DOES look wierd , on paper ( screen), but that's not reality, just a description of it .
2007-07-04 13:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by mikeinportc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they are in a relationship.!
and while these sometimes work out they most often work better fro the older one.at the expense of the younger.
you don t know it but he can whip emotional circles around her..
it would be like you going out with a 12 year old, sure you might think they are cute and fun but have a conversation and watch how you can emotionally outdo them.
and they never have a clue.
he should ,especially with children that age, be completely uninterested in dating a daughter.
and as a marine sgt doing this has some other interesting but not good possibilities..
and the boss would not approve.
tell her RUN LIKE HELL!!!!!!!
2007-07-04 13:46:15 · answer #5 · answered by macdoodle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if they arent in a relationship, do you call it a fling? come on! she's 20... his daughter is even older, and a son is younger. a lot of things will differ of course. we dont know how a 20 year old girl and a 40 something year old guy "thinks". so, you didnt mention, how long has this thing been going on?
2007-07-04 13:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by ~desa~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are perfect together than age has nothing to do with it. Tell her to stop being scare and to start being happy. No matter what age the guy is, it will either work or not work.
So go for it,life is too short to not go with the flow when you find someone that's good for you.
Good luck
2007-07-04 13:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
45 year old guy and 20 year old girl? Wow. Lucky guy! You're right though the age difference is going to be difficult to overcome.
2007-07-04 13:47:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like what happens to one of my friends. their age difference is about 22-25 years, i am not sure. anyway, the guy does not have any kid who is older than my friend. they have been together for more than 3 years and everything goes well.
i think the main problem your friend and the guy will face is not the age difference but the objection from his children. imagine a girl who is older than you to be your step-daughter! it's cool but it's hard to be accepted by many people.
i think you don't have to worry about her at this point, just let them develop their things. but, be there for her and offer her help if she needs to :)
2007-07-04 13:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by thoushaltlaugh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be very wary of this relationship and least to say it can be awkward - his kids might completely reject her. If they do she should be very ready for some really hard times in that relationship - in addition her friends and family may make her life even more difficult. And she would definitely need you for support.
2007-07-04 13:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by TG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They arent in a relationship yet, but they act like it. Sometimes age is just a number, it does not reflect on the couple. Honestly, I would be there for your friend, but let her go through this, she may end up learning a lesson or two.
2007-07-04 13:39:39 · answer #11 · answered by di12381 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋