I am so insecure..I just feel like I'm not good enough for anyone to really love.?

Question

How can I feel better about myself? How can I become less insecure and feel like people CAN love me and want the best for me?

I grew up in an abusive home but I have been through therapy and understand a lot more now however I still feel very insecure and sell myself short a lot of the time.

Answer 1

This might sound silly, but sometimes it takes hard work to gain confidence in yourself. I know how you feel, I came from a less than ideal home, the next to youngest of nine children, and I was ignored and neglected in much of my youth. I was shy, and I always felt I was in everybody's way.
One day I decided I was valuable to someone, and I was going to be happy with myself no matter what anybody thinks. I went and got a job in a hospital at 16, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself because of pro activity there. In other words a lot of people that want to help other people. Anything you can do for other people who need help will fill in that empty hole in your soul. Places like City Hall and Goodwill Industries will have simple stuff you can do in the form of volunteer charity work, if you have the time to offer. Just generally stay busy helping people doing something. You'll not only help yourself, but you'll be around a nicer bunch of friendly people. Also I don't believe that anti-depressant meds work for everybody, if anybody. Also try to look for the lighter side of things. Consider you could be in prison looking at a couple of decades of incarceration, or you can have terminal cancer. those people can't easily correct their situations, still they have to press on. I'm sure you have a lot to offer people...simply go out and give it.

Answer 2

You have to put into practise what you have learned in therapy. Maybe more therapy in the future will help you keep in mind what you have learned.

Dear Friend, we are never through therapy. There will be triggers your whole life that will temporarily set you back. It happens to all of us who have been abused. Life will get to feel more positive as you understand the triggers and how to cope. All you can do for now is stay away from negative people. They will bring you down and you will have a hard time feeling good about yourself. And for now, just concentrate on you loving you for who you are and work for your own best interests. You will naturally link up with good people like yourself, but all the good stuff doesn't happen all at once. You will have to work at it. And as you achieve it you will feel way better about yourself and more secure in the life you have chosen for yourself. Thumbs Up!!

Answer 3

I am glad you were smart enough to go through some therapy but don't think you do it once and you are done. I think you may benefit from more therapy to build up that self-esteem.

You don't want to enter into any relationship until you build yourself up and value who you are. Why? Because if you don't you will attract all the jerks of the world who will treat you like a door mat (because you are when you don't value yourself). Love yourself and others will love you. It's that simple.

Ask trusted family and friends to make a list of your good qualities for you, tell them it's an assignment. Take those and read them, daily. Let them sink in. Now write down some of your own about yourself. Read those daily.

Answer 4

You are suffering from PTSD and should still be in counseling. A qualified mental health professional will help you through indidivual and group counseling to build your self esteem.

You are good enough for someone to love, but perhaps the right person has not come into your life. Stay active by participating in church activities, volunteer where you can help someone like a senior to have a nicer day, etc. Giving to others is a great way to see that you have self worth! Been there, done that myself.

Answer 5

I worked with patients with the same feelings that you have for many years. While therapy is excellent for some people the best treatment for what you describe is group therapy. A lot of people don't like group but the important thing is that you are in a safe environment with people who have the same experiences as you. It allows you to understand why you have these feelings and talk them out with others who are in the same boat. Best wishes

Answer 6

I'm really sorry to hear that. :( I can't imagine what it's like.
Just remember that you ARE good enough. I know that as humans we tend to focus on the bad words, not the good, so that might not help much. But the myth about people being good enough to love is total bull. EVERYONE is good enough, there is really nothing you can do to change that.
If it helps, find something you're good at and enjoy. That is always a confidence booster. Talk to people. Especially friends. Whether you think about it or not, those are people that love and want the best for you.

Answer 7

I know how you feel I also have a very low self esteem but i just try to think good thoughts about me and know that I have some good quality about me because god made me and he doesn't make mistake we may not be the best looking person in the world but we are here and some people are leaving this world right now and wish they could stay . just accept yourself just the way you are and look in the mirror everyday and say good things about you do this everyday and say I'm just as good as the next person I might not have the perfect skin or perfect hair but I'm a wonderful person and everybody got something they don't like about them self I got something that I hate about me and I don't like being around people so I stay to myself but that's not healthy by us not liking our self is a insult to Jesus it's hard work but we can do it with self talk and having confident in our self i bet you are a beautiful person and i would love to be in your shoes you wouldn't have to worry about every where you go people laugh at you or stare at you because of the way you look but I have children that love me for the way I am and I bet you have some one who just Adore you and think you are the best person they ever met

Answer 8

Do not feel insecure. increase confidence, achieve your goals. You must be young and enough time is there in front of you to come and shine. Believe in you and your capabilities and god is there to help every body in their career and life. Build your self confidence and be friendly with everybody and go out and offer your help to everybody.
Beauty does not lie in the looks of the persons, it is also in the activities and character of the person. Somebody will come and love you certainly.

Answer 9

First step is to know your worth something and love yourself than others will love you too.

Answer 10

point out all the good charactoristics about urself