So my 19yr. old (almost 20) brother recently moved in with us. We charge him $400.00/ month {$200.00/ paycheck} ~ This amount includes roof over his had, private bedroom (which we built just for him), food, heat/central air, water, hydro, laundry (plus the soap etc..), transportation to where ever he needs to go...including work, telephone with long distance, high speed internet, toiletries etc.. And also a maid basically (except for cleaning his room which is a mess)...but I do the dishes etc...
I'm a stay at home mom with 3 little kids (8, 5 1/2, and 2), so our family's finances are tight and cant afford to give him a "free ride", however today we got in a HUGE fight because he says he never has any money 'cause he gives it all to us and that people have told him we are charging too much especially for family... I think we are being more than generous considering we live in a university town and rooms (just a room!!) are going for like $400.00 to $650.00/month here. Who's wrong?
2007-07-04 10:44:01 · 6 answers · asked by busymum 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Maybe not a question of right or wrong...but do you think we're being unreasonable by charging him?
2007-07-04 10:53:20 · update #1
He said he has no money because he gives at least half to us, however he WAS working full time and cut his shifts down to about 3 days a week, but yet wants to buy stuff (which he does purchase but can't afford) like a nintendo ds, clothes, party..etc.. so I think if he wants to have a little extra cash he should work more or save not blame us because we won't let him free load..
2007-07-04 10:59:02 · update #2
Don't feel bad, you are doing the right thing. $400 is not at all unreasonable. Think about it, if he could get a place somewhere else with ALL the fringe benefits your home offers....wouldn't he be there. Yeah, sure he would. You have to take care of your children and immediate family first and foremost. You were not required to let him live with you in the first place, much less do all the extra stuff you do for him. He should be thankful for having someone who loves him so much and try being a little grateful. He needs to realize that sometimes in life you just pay the bills, and are happy to be able to do that. If he has extra money after he pays you then he is better off than he realizes. You are a great mom and sister, don't ever doubt that fact. Good luck.
2007-07-04 13:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by viper pilot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He luck he has a roof over his head with all the amenities. Don't feel bad some people just want to get by with less so they can waiste their money on more. Paying you is an essential part of life. That worry two cents about it. You have much larger bills and nobody will probably take you in with another family member. They would have to move on
2016-01-15 01:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by Rosalva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
You are being more than generous! Perhaps he does not realize the true costs of being out in the world on his own. Maybe you could itemize it all down on paper for him so he can see what everything actually costs per month. (rent, food, heat/A.C., water, laundry, telephone, internet, transportation everywhere he wants to go, etc.) Plus maid service? Oh my God. It would cost him FAR more than $400/mo. to get everything that he is getting at your house. In fact, I bet most guys his age could EAT that much in food alone! What you are charging seems very reasonable. After all, he is not your dependent, nor is he a minor.
You don't mention why he moved in with your family in the first place. If he really feels it's too expensive for him, remind him he is free to leave anytime to go find something else more in his budget. (and good luck to him doing that!) As long as he is there at your house, in addition to paying his share of expenses, he should also be required to follow some basic family rules, be respectful, and do his share of chores. That is not asking too much.
Another problem with living with relatives, besides the assumption that you should be willing to support them indefinately for free, is it is often difficult to get them to move out if you change your mind about the living arrangements. I'm assuming you did not have him sign a lease with you. If you decide it would be best without him living there, then you would need to discuss with him a move-out date, and then stick to it. I believe 30 days minimum would be fair.
Hope this helps,
Julie
2007-07-04 10:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by julie j 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You give the answer: if he can do better, then he should go for it. My sister rented part of her house and the woman was not making rent. When my sister said, "Have to pay taxes and the mortgage and I can't afford to pay your welfare" the woman snapped "I'm not on welfare" and sister said, "If you're not paying rent, you certainly seem to be."
You seem to have gone overboard with the private bath and other services, which he would have to pay more for elsewhere. If he won't look at rates at other places, do so yourself, add the nice features (like internet) and see what the bill comes to.
How much is he earning a month? How long has he had the job? How much does he think he should be paying?
2007-07-04 10:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if he doesn't like the price let him find somewhere else.
It's your place.
2007-07-04 10:48:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
$50 a week is good
2007-07-04 11:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋