Why am I on here? Why Can't I stop?

Question

When you clicked on this you probably thought it was a joke. I am serious. During my work day i spend all my time here. When i go home I read volume after volume of religious texts, commentaries, articles, interpretations. I can't stop looking for something greater. A unifying philosophy. I am currently atheist and before a bunch of you come on here and say "your searching for god! Believe in him and be saved!" know that i study Christianity and I am firm in my belief that whatever it is i am looking for is nowhere near christianity or the bible. Why can't i stop looking for spirituality? I don't really eat, I sleep little and everything that interrupts my search, things like work, friends, family seems secondary. Has anybody else had this problem? Has anybody found the answer?

Answer 1

As I have come into long awaited healing over the past year and a half, I’ve had the amazing opportunity to receive direct, face-to face, contact with my guides, nature spirits and, angelic beings. My healing has been the most extraordinary occurrence, I regret nothing because it all has brought me to this. ‘This’ being the single most important purpose for my existence now on earth, this being my only work to do. Yes, I still have physical needs that require effort, but I have never felt so human, so alive, as I bring my being into alignment with divine freedom. I risk looking the fool, I risk rejection and criticisms, in fact I risk all that binds me to ego and ‘proper’ confinement, for there is no other way. I am overjoyed in daring to share my healing, that we may all risk being more free. This is a spontaneous writing that came forth after my last contact with a truly gentle yet amazingly powerful Angelic Being.
Oh beautiful Being, pure simple essence of love, patience, peace. Take my confusion, my hardest intellectual attempts. Blow it away with one glance, one smile, one touch. In the presence of this pure simplicity, I recognize and respond to the essence of self. All we attempt to cultivate, create, decipher, and figure? As we put so much work into creating we loose sight that we are creation. All we long to have, all we strive to be. We become motivated so deeply by desires of love and connection. We are so busy looking around, trying to grasp opportunities, trying to figure and balance things. That we may in some way build it, capture it, hold onto it, bring it closer and closer. Then somehow end up feeling dissatisfied, rejected, victimized, alone. We are going backwards, it is backwards to seek love. To try to develop or create love, to cling to another because from there we can glimpse love. That glimpse from another is simply a mirror, for we are love. In all our efforts it’s hard to see that what we were seeking is contact with our very essence. So simple we would have never thought it was with us all along. Not only with us, it is us, we could never be separate from it.
Love and Light Ericka

Answer 2

Yes, The search begins! To know! To find Peace and understand the Love that is Unconditional.
The beginning of the search that never ends because it the nature of spirit to change - just when you feel you see answers, more questions arise that lead you around in ever increasing circles, but with each revolution comes more knowingness and belief.
I think at the beginning - every 'spiritual searcher' goes through just what you describe. It all starts with a knowingness that there is more to life than what we see and are told.
And you feel very unbalanced and uncentered as if you are in a boat in a very strong current and have absolutely no control.
Have you a little belief ( maybe in the back of your mind) in a God/Angels/Spirit guides/ Universal Consciousness?
If so, can you feel more comfortable in thinking that you are being guided to look further than the written teachings or to put it another way - as you ask of the Universe - it is shown to you.
If not, it doesn't matter,you will be pushed in that direction eventually to believe in the Oneness of Creation in Spirit/God.
Spirituality is all about the releasing of controlling fears and the building of belief in a Presence in which all of Creation is One in Spirit - seeing and treating other people as you see yourself and wish them to treat you. Knowing that to hurt another, you also harm yourself.
Some people use organized Religion to come to the belief and some like to 'wing it' starting from scratch.
I too read and read, and soon found out that anything i wasn't meant to understand at the time, i just couldn't seem to take into my mind - it was very selective assimilation. By the same token, what i really became interested in and loved to read was just what i needed to understand. I would go to a book shop and start looking and then i would see a book that took my eye, (it might be a colour on the cover or the angle it was sitting) just something that caught my eye, and when i stopped to see, i found that it was exactly what my mind was asking about. I think about it as little miracles created in response to my asking (praying?) for answers.
Maybe try to relax, read what you feel you should but also get the balance working by considering that the people around you are all joined on the level of spirit - One in Spirit (working for God too you might say) - giving you messages - even the very negative ones. Pay attention to life, relationships, circumstances - can you pick up on the messages? - and have fun! It's all about looking about and enjoying what you see - look for the 'little miracles'.
Books can't give you Wisdom - only learning. Wisdom is learning enhanced by Life.

Answer 3

Philosophers have searched since the dawn of mankind to find the meaning of life. You're looking for something to fill an empty place in your being. I think you're not looking for spirituality but for peace and happiness. These things are "earned" not "learned". Perhaps the thing you seek to find is the very thing you are neglecting. "things like work, friends, family seems secondary". Maybe, if you don't chase after the truth so hard...it will come to you. Life is not for losing the gifts we have but for finding the our own meaningful existence. The truth about life lies in writing our own book of our beliefs not in someone else's generalizations. Find the best things in all of the faiths you study and strive to carry them with you. My guess is, as time goes by, you will find what you seek. Not in others words but in living life everyday and making the lives of those you love and those who love you...better. I might have missed the your whole point here. Just my opinion. Good luck in your search. R

Answer 4

Many of us can identify with your ‘plight’…as seekers and/or questioners of spiritual/religious information, we can never stop wondering about why there are so many views and opinions…many of which are very strong. You call yourself an atheist; I have found that many people like you are eager for someone to prove the existence of something greater than yourself. That something is often called god…Allah…the Creator…the Great Spirit…etc…

You won’t find what you seek in any book…whether it is a ‘holy book’…such as the Bible or Koran…but those texts could lead you in a direction of self-discovery. I welcome such discussions…and you may contact me off-forum. You seek a definitive…and defensible…answer; there may be none. However, I applaud you for the inquiry!

Answer 5

because you are still stuck with the christian indoctrination of there is something more there is something bigger. Its also an inherent drive in many people to search for some unity. Study neuroscience. Specifically start looking at functional MRI brain studies. It may be daunting at first but I understand it and you can email me with questions.
There are many amazing studies out that show the actual neural pathways that define morality. How do people decide what is right and wrong? Its a group of nerve fiber in the brain. Not terribly glamorous or dramatic but very true.
I had a fascinating discussion with a guy working on his philosophy thesis. The very question he was working so diligently to research is answered by funtional MRI. Its kind if dehumanizing in a way becuase we like to think there is some dramatic truth to human behavior.

Answer 6

I would like to try to answer your question. Everything that exists, exists for a purpose. If we are not in tune with that purpose, we will constantly feel driven to find it, not even knowing it is happening, for the most part.

It is like having two gears that are supposed to move together. Either the gears are exactly working together or they are not. If one is off, neither will work right. The starter gear will continue to turn, but if the other gear is off slightly, it cannot complete it's task, it's purpose. Knowing you are not quite fitting your purpose is showing very clearly, that you know spiritually, you are off of where you should be.

Each of us have gifts that can benefit all around us, if those gifts are used the way they were meant to be used, everyone will benefit, and you will see your purpose.

There are two spiritual forces at work in everyone's life. One force tries to keep you from your purpose, and the other tries to draw you and lead you in it. The reason you have not found your purpose is because the force working against you finding it, does not want you to.

You will feel drawn into one area, and as soon as you head that direction, the other force will pull on you even harder to get you to go the other direction. In your heart you know you are not fullfilling your purpose, so you are driven even harder to find it. Some of us realize this is happening, and some don't. If you realize it is happening, you must also realize, you will never be truly happy until you find it.

Each of us can change things around us and help others if we understand our part in it, our giftings. All things are supposed to work together.

Another example would be a stream of water. Think of your spirit as that stream of water. If that stream flows where it is supposed to flow, it nourishes the plants and wildlife around it as it flows. But if a beaver comes along and damns up that stream, that beaver would be responsible for keeping that stream from nourishing those plants and wildlife, and holding back the purpose of the stream.

The stream keeps getting backed up higher and higher, and the force gets stronger and stronger to break free, until at some point, it finally bursts open the damn and fulfills it's purpose. That realease of all that backed up water feels so good, and you feel a lifting in your spirit as it happens.

When you really understand your purpose, you will feel that release. And let me tell you, it is awesome to know you are here for a reason.

That is what is happening in you. You spirit wants to fulfill it's purpose, but it is getting backed up so much it hurts spiritually.

If you want to know more, you can contact me a [e-mail]

Answer 7

Hello and with all due respect to your beliefs you were not a accident there is way to much proof that humans are way to complex that we just happened, in fact the universe the science has now admitted that this world and this solar system is much to complex to have just happened, and that feeling that need to seek something did not just happen either, can it be you may be wrong. Every nation that has as its base the ten commandments is a place that is reasonable to live in but where God has been kicked out human life is not respected and in fact animals are better then you there, so if they are real perhaps the rest is real too. Explore please www.amazingfact.org and see for yourself before giving up on that God that created you to seek His face because HE DID, God bless.

Answer 8

Blaise Pascal postulated that every person has a "God-shaped hole" in their heart, soul, mind.

"What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself. "

Answer 9

I believe you're feeling the prompting of the Holy Spirit. He's pulling you to this board in hopes you'll turn to Christ, my wonderful Savior who redeemed me years ago, & I've been a Christian ever since! He's tugging at your heart for Salvation the same way He did me when I was little. Get you a copy of the Bible my friend. Get alone with the Lord, ask Him to speak to you through His Word, & I hope you receive the blessed free gift of Salvation. He's speaking to you right now. Please reach out & listen. There is a blessed hope just waiting for you!

Answer 10

athiesm is the belief in nothing. That doesnt exist, cause when u call urself and athiest ur saying u believ in yourself. Your searching for something cause you feel incomplete, you need to dive into Gods word and find a good babtist church. If you accept christ, you will still have problems, but you will have someone to turn to. And once you have that, that empty confusing feeling will disapear