My boyfriend and I have been together for over five years and are not married. We are also not planning on getting married anytime in the near future. However, whenever we meet someone, they almost always ask "how long have you been together?" When we say 5 years, they almost always ask "When are you getting married?" or "Where's the ring??" or something similiar. We would rather not discuss our private reasons for not getting married & find it rude that people ask us this, especially if we DO give some sort of answer & they keep harping on it. What would be a good response to this question without being rude in return? They also sometimes ask "You do want to get married right?" or something similar. Any suggestions you guys may have would be great. Thanks! :)
2007-07-04 07:06:37 · 39 answers · asked by destiny21 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ask them in return, "Where's your tact?" or say, "Oh, it's this weekend, you just aren't invited!"
2007-07-11 14:11:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem except that I have an engagement ring and plan on having a really, really long engagement. We may never even get married but we haven't decided that. I usually say I want to be able to afford a big wedding and want to save up for it (which is at least partially true.)
Without a ring, the best thing to do is just say something casual like: "why mess up a good thing?" or "we're in no rush because things are great just the way they are". If you want to be even more PC you could say I don't want to get married till it's legal for EVERYONE to get married (gays) but that's a matter of personal choice and if they're really annoying you, just throw a statistic at them: 51% of all marriages end up in divorce so you're not going to risk the odds.
Hope this helps.
2007-07-04 08:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by GH4ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When asked a question i'd rather not answer i simply respond with a question of my own such as this..."why would you like to know"? Most of the time people will leave it alone at that, not wanting to sound anymore nosey than they have already been and, it doesn't seem to offend them since there's nothing rude about that question. They usually pick up on the idea that you had just rather not talk about it at this time. Hope this works as well for you as it has for me in the past.
2007-07-12 06:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by circle_of_life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever question why this is so annoying to you? You should not need any sarcastic answers,for these questions are aimed at your good. I look at it this way, now that you have made it together after 5 years, what seems to be causing the hesitancy to get it Legalized ? There must be some kind of trust established in each other. I personally,in these circumstances would get married ,if only to avoid such questions, which are not rude, but well meaning. I wish you well.
2007-07-04 08:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The best response is another question, "Why do you ask?"
Now I've got a question for you:
You sound a little defensive about your decision not to marry. Are you against marriage in general or just as applied to you?
2007-07-12 06:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Miz D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say, "We do not have any plans of getting married soon". Then you can say you have other prioritries now, if they insist on finding reasons. Any reply you give will not come off rude as long as you say it in the proper tone (not the tone that suggests you are annoyed).
2007-07-08 12:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it easy . You can just throw casual and differnet answer and divert the focus some where else.
Few answers>
1.Lord of the Rings is not punctual these days.
2.Saturn has borrowed from us and is refusing to return .
3.It is stolen by Ringworms and would let you know as soon as they get cought.
4.As soon as the bells would ring, you will come to know.
5. There is a Straight Ring under manufactor and we are looking for who is the manufactorer.
6.Now a days , telephones beeps and we dont have any ringing instrument.
Look out to make "Ring" Rhyme in your answers.. there can be infinate possiblities..
If you Exaust those.. belive me you are very caring and just highly popular, so please Promise me not to furget to invite for the ocassion.!!
Good Luck !
2007-07-04 07:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by Hot Ice 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just explain that marriage and rings are material and ritualistic. You don't need either to love each other. What you have doesn't need a leash around your fingers or an expensive party. I don't know about you but when people start sounding too mature about stuff I back away. Hope this helps.
2007-07-04 07:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Me2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nosy people ey? Although that shouldn't be their business, you should respond with this brief story:
We went to the beach and removed our rings to avoid any loss, but unfortunetly while playing around the rings slipped aside to where the sand was, and we searched and searched but never found it, we are rearranging to purchase a new pair.
Well hope that works out for you,
2007-07-12 05:04:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say "Things seem to be working out just fine the way it is, but thank you for your interest."
For the ones that say "You do want to get married right?" I would just say "well, you'll be the first to know when we have some news on that subject!"
2007-07-08 07:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by deerogre 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you are happy as you are and that you dont need a piece of paper to committ to each other or to keep you together. My partner and I have put up with that for 25 years.
Most annoying and invasive.
2007-07-10 05:29:42 · answer #11 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋