My boyfriend and I have been going out almost 3 years and lately we haven't had anything to talk about. He always thinks I am mad at him and im not. I love him more than anything, I would do anything for him. He tells me he loves me and I think he does. One reason I think we aren't getting along as well as we used to is because we only get to see each other like once a week. I like to tell him everything about my day and if something is bothering me he is the first person, really the only person, I tell. But he doesn't ever want to tell me his feelings, he always says that if I don't ask him about his day or how he's feeling he just doesn't think to tell me. I really want some advice on what we can do to become closer to each other again. If you have any suggestions on activities we can do together I would greatly appreciate it. Oh yea, I don't really know if this really matters but we haven't had sex. Does anyone think that would bring us closer.
2007-07-04 07:00:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He broke up with me twice in a 3 month period. It completely broke my heart. But I took him back twice and now I am afraid he is going to break up with me again if we don't get closer. He says he is afraid of making the wrong decision. He doesn't understand how I am so sure he is the ONE. How can I explain it to him??
2007-07-04 07:21:25 · update #1
Well, first you need to consider your age. If you're still a teenager, then I would definately "NOT" do the sex thing. If, however, you're both in your 20's...and you've been going out for 3 years...well...you need to ask yourself "why" you haven't gotten around to having sex yet.
Sex is not a cure, it's a sharing. Men don't "share" their feelings unless they're forced to do so, which is why he told you he doesn't bring up his feelings unless you ask. He's not being coy, he's being a boy. Women want to share "feelings", guys want to share "things" and "events". Women look at the nuances behind the words, guys just look at the words. If you want someone who'll share their feelings without you asking, find a girlfriend and chat away. However, and I'm serious about this, if you constantly ask him what he's thinking, feeling, etc., he'll grow tired of your questions and your company. Respect his silence and if you want to talk, ask him what he thinks about something he really cares about (but not about you). Don't ask him no-win questions or hypothetical situations like, "Does this dress make me look fat?" or "If I had a terminal illness, would you take my friend to my funeral?" Start asking him what he'd like to do and, even if you're not sure you'd like to do it, tell him, "great, let's go." He has to see you as more than a friend, yet more than a toy. Age makes a big difference and you need to make your decision accordingly.
2007-07-11 18:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things are very complicated... there are always moments like that in relationships... when you feel like all the love is fading away. I think you should talk to him and make him tell you honestly if something bothers him. Try doing something you've never done before... something you both like...be spontaneus. And about the sex thing... i don't think it will solve your problem...if you say you are geting colder than having sex now would defenetly make your relationship worst... other complicated things will appear. Good luck :)
2007-07-04 07:09:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tzutzi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him all that. and u will get closer. if he doesn't tell u how hes feeling then it sounds like he doesn't really trust u completely. like he thinks u mite still break his heart. u shood show him that u cood never hurt him and ur relationship will change completely.
2007-07-04 07:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by Just like Marie Antoinette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he wants his salad tossed.
2007-07-04 07:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it wouldnt sadly
2007-07-11 15:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋