My b/f and I are definitely in love, but he has such high hopes, and I'm worried that it can't possibly last forever b/c of our views. He's catholic, i'm atheist, he hates homosexuality, I could care less, and love everyone, he's pro war, im anti-war, and we have different views on women's roles in society and in relationships. This barely scratches the surface, but for example: he HATES that a girl in a relationship would have guy friends, while I say what's the big deal? If you trust your girl then it shouldn't be a problem. I know i'm in love with him, and when none of these topics come up, we're great. But he really thinks we could be married one day, and I can't picture myself forever being with someone, led alone even ATTEMPTING to raise a child with someone when all of our major beliefs that make us who we are counter one another...has anyone made a relationship work under similar circumstances?
2007-07-04 06:34:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Everyone has, and they do it all the time.
You guys need to find middle ground. Agree to disagree on some subjects. Agree that you won't discuss war or abortion. Agree that the grilled cheese can be served with or without tomato soup.
The idea is to find common ground. What DO you agree on?
Write a list: pros on the left, cons on the right. Can you make a balance for the relationship work?
Good luck, and congrats on finding Mr. Darned Near Right.
2007-07-04 06:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by Stuart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a case of opposites attract. I thought it could work up til the part about women's roles in society and in relationships. If you married him, he might try to force you into submission and you would be miserable.
You are liberal, he is conservative. I am surprised you are even thinking about marriage because of your background of beliefs - you might be a lot more feminist when you get older - and there is a whole section of anti-patriarchal views against marriage there...
I have been there, done that and it was the worst four years of my life. He was also abusive toward our daughter til she turned 18 and moved out. She also moved all the way across the country to get away from him.
If your guy has his views and won't force them on you and let you be who you are - I would say go for it - but if he is at all controlling - then I would say to proceed with EXTREME caution.
2007-07-04 06:45:42 · answer #2 · answered by beach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yikes, this is complicated. I mean yeah opposites attract, but it's nice to be able to discuss politics and beliefs with the one you love. It gets old trying to convince someone of what you think and feel. Unfortuantly, with all the examples you've given it seems like if you stay in this relationship, you'll just get walked all over. it sounds like he's a VERY strict christian republican, and trust me when I tell you, they are the most stubborn pushy people i've ever encountered. i'd suggest trying to find someone who you can just lay under the stars and asking eachother the "what if" questions of life.
2007-07-04 06:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by amoonz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have doubts if he sticks with his issues on holding women back, You will fight a lot and be miserable. The issue of kids is a major problem too.
2007-07-04 06:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya why not ,anyone belonging to similar circumstances made relationship.Because they have similar thinking and i don't know more sorry.
2007-07-04 06:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by suraj danger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably won't work.
2007-07-04 06:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Always Right 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋