She does not return my phone calls and when I finally did pin her down she said she was busy. I'm not sure if I should give her some space or continue to call her once a week or what. She denies anything is wrong but she is very protective of her dad. And seems to be angry now about a divorce that happened when she was four? Any advice?
2007-07-04 06:29:40 · 10 answers · asked by Jackie Oh! 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Michelle-I so agree with you.
People shouldn't even bother to answer these questions when they are going to be flip or dismissive. It's just infuriating.
Thanks to you and Carlito and Lady Astral for some encouragement.
2007-07-04 07:26:18 · update #1
I would give her her space but......................... call and leave loving messages throughout the week. When I was 18 I went through the same thing with my mother and even though I was angry with her I never forgot her kind messages she left me, notes on my door, letters in the mail and groceries on my doorstep. It makes me want to cry right now thinking about how she never gave up on me and waited patiently until I came around. She now is my best friend and we talk every day. That was 15 years ago.
2007-07-04 07:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate, no offense, HATE, "there's nothing you can do" advice. "Nothing you can do" means the situation must stand the way it is. This is your daughter & you love her & my guess, you want to be a part of her life. The "problem is" eighteen is a TOUGH age. Not only for the kid goin' through that hell (come on, like you don't remember?) but the parents. All of a sudden 18 is really here, I can do whatever the hell I want but then there's that little thing called "responsibility" & its now all on me, baby. Its a scary time, high school is over & everything is changing. And as the parent(s) you find yourself trying to identify what your role will now be ~ its a TOUGH time for everyone.
I think communication is the one key thing to any relationship. Your kiddo isn't givin' you much of that right now & my guess is she is perhaps having to deal with a whole lot of "adultness" in a short period of time. I'd just give her a little bit of space & try not to freak out. If she's never lived with her Dad this is probably a big adjustment ~ in addition to the holy sh*t high schools over & the this is where Life really begins thing. I'd call, email, text or send a smoke signal out once every few days ~ not every day! Enough so she knows that you're still there, hangin' out (keep the chewing nails thing to yourself) on the sidelines, waiting to talk when shes ready.
About the divorce thing? I think you should talk to her about this ~ when shes ready. And not like she's a nine yr. old you're trying to protect, but the adult she is trying to grow into. I think regardless of how old the kid(s) is when the divorce happens at one point or another they want to KNOW. A divorce effects the adults involved, sometimes for their entire lives; how could it not effect our kids the same way?
Good Luck!
2007-07-04 14:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First I want you to know my feelings go out to you. It takes a good mother to do what you are doing today. Yes, I agree, call her once a week just so she knows you care about her. Don't ask questions just say you called to say I love you. She is 18 teen but she will always be your daughter. My daughter passed away at 18 and I wished I could call her once a week. So don't give up and always tell her how much you love her no matter what is going on. Let me know if I can help with anything else....?
2007-07-04 16:43:52 · answer #3 · answered by Big Sexy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her the space, she will come back as soon as she finds out that it's not all roses and sweetness living with dad. She feels she needs to get to know her dad and that (maybe) her dad is telling her things. This sometimes happens to daughters when the divorce is over and dad wants the kid to like him. She is 18 and you need to let go sometime, let her live with dad and get both sides of the story and make her own mind up about who to support. I have no doubt she will be coming back telling you how much of a jerk her dad is or telling you that she now understands what happened and doesn't blame you for the divorce. Give her time to make her own decisions about the divorce.
2007-07-04 13:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most teen girls will always go against mom ours did everything mom said was wrong or mom is so stupid. but it just took a couple or years and now her mom is the smart one and the one that gets call of all the advice she needs. i think all girls go through this just give it time and keep calling she will need you again.
2007-07-04 15:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont press her to talk about serious issues but keep calling at least once a week. A parent who gives up loses.
2007-07-04 13:33:05 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let it go, she knows how to get ahold of you. She may be 18 but she's still got alot of growing up to do.
2007-07-04 13:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry there's nothing you can do she's 18.
2007-07-04 13:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
nothing - she's 18
2007-07-04 13:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
SHE IS f***** 18 THIS HAPPPENS TO EVERYONE!!!1
2007-07-04 13:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋