I'm a 22 year old female. My neighbor, 24 year old male has shown interest in me, off and on, for the past three years. He's sweet, mature and intelligent. He seems insincere sometimes, which is why I'm not dating him now. One week he'll try really hard to get my attention. Another week he'll ignore me or give me the cold shoulder. I have developed a crush over time and I would like to date him, but I still don't trust him. Part of me feels that the smiles and sweet talking is just an act. The other part of me really likes him
2007-07-04 04:51:17 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I must admit that I'm to blame. When he first expressed interest in me, he did invite me out with him. It wasn't an official date date, but more of a way for us to talk and get to know each other. I turned him down. At the time I didn't see him in a romantic way. We live in the same building but I don't see him often. He works. So I would see him once every 3 months. When he does try to get my attention, he'll go out of his way to talk to me. I've thrown some mixed signals at him. Because we are neighbors I have to be extra careful. Many times when I see him, it's usually on weekends when I'm running errands. I tend to look a mess ( sweat pants, dirty t-shirt, messy hair, and bags under my eyes). When I see him I die of embarrassment, and I try to keep the conversation brief and I literally run away. This is why I'm not completely mad at him.
P.S. He did ask me out a second time, to go dancing. I turned him down because I hate dancing.
2007-07-04 04:51:36 · update #1
silly girl- u better ask him before he finds someone else
2007-07-12 04:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
well, turning him down for dancing may have been a gross strategical answer. You should have suggested something else. He may be thinking you've totally rejected him. This is okay, because you need a little back and forth in the beginning to gain respect for each other. You need to just call him over for a beer or a cup of coffee or just call him up and ask him if he wants to go out, preferably a weeknight when it can be a little more casual. But, the ball is in your court since you turned him down. The days of guys chasing girls is over. They have been taught that when a girl says "no" she means no.
Wear something that in a very classy way shows off your sexuality. You want to be flirtacious without being forward, and definitely catalyze any thoughts of attraction he has running around his head. If you like him you need to try for him, but always give him an out. If he hasn't made a decision on you, you don't want to get into a situation where he feels that he has to reciprocate. But, definitely let him know that you wouldn't mind.
2007-07-04 12:00:50 · answer #2 · answered by eliasulmonte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, and you wonder why women drive men crazy? Look, he asked you out twice...and the second time was already after you'd turned him down. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to ask a woman out? especially after you've crashed and burned? Good heavens, he probably took so long to ask you out again because it took him that long to get up the courage to ask you again. I wouldn't expect a third attempt on his part. I agree with some of your other replies that said you should have said, "I'd like to go out with you, but I'm afraid I'm not really into dancing...how about a dinner or a movie?" or something else you might be interested in. Or, here's a concept, how about saying, "I'd like to go out with you, but I have to warn you, I'm not really into dancing all that much...but I'm willing to give it a try."
Any way you cut it, I'd ask him out and I'd do it quick. If you don't, he'll find someone else and you'll be beating yourself up for the rest of your life "wondering" if you should have let him slip through your fingers.
2007-07-12 00:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amazing this has gone on for 3 years. You both are afraid.
Tell him everything you put in your question it will start a conversation that will touch move and inspire him. He will most likely share with you why he acts the way he does. Go out with each other and see what happens. If you have a great time, you will kick yourself for waiting 3 years. If you have a bad time, you will kick yourself for obsessing over it so long.
2007-07-04 12:36:51 · answer #4 · answered by warriorandangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to go out on a limb with the brief setting you created and say you two are not compatible. If you don't like dancing then you must be horrible in bed. Basically, good sex is sophisticated dance moves, so you must be like a dead bush in bed. ...
Um, you could try to help yourself if you really like him. You can take dance lessons and also change your weekend routines. When you have to run out make sure you are always dressed nicely and fully groomed.
2007-07-04 11:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out on a date. Work up that courage!
The worst that could happen is that he'll say no, and then you can get to crushing on someone else.
And if he saysa yes, use that date (and hopefully the others to follow) to find out if he really does like you or if he's a huge player.
2007-07-04 11:55:07 · answer #6 · answered by quiet_hands 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite him to a casual dinner with you and your friends. This way you gfuys can talk and get to know eachother without feeling pressured like you are on a date. Hope this helps you make the right choice!
2007-07-04 11:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by ...... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of turning him down, sugest a different kind of date. Giving him all these mixed signals will just purely confuse him, and he may think, "Why should i bother?".
He's already made the first move- TWICE. It's ur turn now, he obviously won't turn you down, seems like he's keen to pursue you. Do what you think's best, but my advice? Make a move, good luck! xxx
2007-07-04 11:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by moixxx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you guys both seem immature so i would say no. It seem like he like you but us keep turning him down. If he asked me to go dancing, even if i didnt like to dance i would have went. How are u suppose to date someone and cant try new things. You guys just need to be neighbor friends.
2007-07-04 11:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by HOTCHICK2783482 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him more. He might be a little shy and therefore is waiting for you to tell him you like him. He probably is a really nice guy but is just shy so if you really want to date him then tell him how you feel then he'll feel comfortable telling you how he feels.
2007-07-04 11:55:15 · answer #10 · answered by mets lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its seems that you are both skirting around each other and the only way anything is ever going to happen is if one of you takes the initiative..
2007-07-04 11:56:25 · answer #11 · answered by lazydazy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋