My BF wants us to get a house and live together for a while before we get engaged. We’ve been together for 7 years now. Is it me or should know whether or not we can live together. Help.
2007-07-04 04:22:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Seven years? I'm sorry, but if he hasn't given you the ring by now . . . well, I wouldn't waste any more time on him. Move on. Find someone new who will value you and wants to marry you.
2007-07-04 04:29:57 · answer #1 · answered by Suz123 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I personally got engaged after we bought our house but that was just the luck of the draw...I had to move for a job.
I personally think it's a good idea to live together before getting married because there are a lot of responsibilities that come with a house that will strain your relationship (just work through them!).
Getting engaged is just another sign of commitment and really should not be impacted by whether or not you are living together. Some people stay engaged for a long time so you could get engaged, buy the house and then start preparing for marriage!
Either way, you need to do what works for both of you. He has a point but you can tell him that you don't want to make such a huge financial committment (buying the house) before he committs to being with you for life.
anyway, hope this helps a little!!
2007-07-04 11:39:25 · answer #2 · answered by PAWS 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From LOTS of experience in this area from different points of view... DON'T get the house first. no no no no. If you REALLY want to live together first, rent an apartment. At least this way, if it doesn't work out, you can both walk away after a year.
If you buy a house together, there are a few ways this could go.
#1 - Let's say the house is in HIS name only. YOu live together unmarried for several years, you get engaged, you think it's ALL going to work out fine. One day, he decides he wants someone else. You are out and she is in. You have NO legal claim over the house and any labor you put into getting the house in shape, or any money out of your pocket goes right into HIS equity!
#2 - You buy the house in both names. Down the road, one of you decide that this isn't going to work out. Suddenly one of you is going to have to somehow get out of the house, or maybe both of you will have to sell your share because neither of you can afford it yourself. YOu have to put up with each other through selling the house which can take months, or even years.
There are plenty of other scenarios that can play out when you BUY a house before marriage.
Protect your assets and don't share them with anyone that will not make the committment to marry you. He may just want to "play house" so that he doesn't have to fully commit.
2007-07-04 12:04:01 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
7 years is a long time without a ring. Did you start dating very young? For example, if you started dating at 15 and are now 22 then he's right in thinking that you are still too young to get married. However, if you started dating at 21 and are now 28, he may just be putting off being engaged due to fear of commitment.
2007-07-04 11:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It helps to know if you can live together...may I suggest renting or leasing for a year. You dont want to get into a financal situation as huge as a house if you haven't tried lving together before OR if you arent married. Sorry...IMO a house a a huge deal and costs a TON of money. If you two were to sign on it together and then for some reason things didnt work out then there'd be a huge problem.
2007-07-04 12:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't been living together yet, I think it would be a very good thing to live together for a bit. You get to find all the quirks and irks and sweet things that you wouldn't normally see when not living together.
I think you should talk about RENTING a place first.
Have you guys talked about marriage yet? If so, good. If not, I might worry a bit about if he's going to ask or not.
2007-07-04 12:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm currently living with my bf, have been for 4 months, and it's been nice. I'm definitely glad we did before we decided to get married, which will be in 2 summers. I've never really had a roomate, I've lived in my own before, but nothing like this, and I think it's really helped us get to know each other better, and if anything, it's helped our relationship. If I were you guys, I'd find a house to rent, not buy immediately, so if for some reason you find out that you really don't want to be with him, you won't have a mortgage to take care of yourself. I hate to say it, but rent is easier to get out of.
2007-07-04 11:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by meg 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Always get the ring first before living w/ someone. After 7 years, you don't need to test anything out. He should know if he wants to marry you or not, especially by now.
2007-07-04 12:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why get engaged if you're both still living with your parents? We bought the house and I gave her the ring 2 months later at our housewarming infront of our entire family.
2007-07-04 11:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by Chris O 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's stalling. any decent man would give you the ring already, not make you wait 7 yrs. unless you started dating at 15. re-evalute this committment before the ring AND the house.
2007-07-04 16:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by tvelez128 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋