I said to my boyfriend, danny (whom I have only been with for a month and a half) that I need some space (as we have seen each other everyday for the past weeks and I haven't had anytime to myself.
He has taken it the wrong way and is saying "I can't deal with you messing with my head. We can still be friends. I still think alot of you" He is ending it with me, but all I did was ask for space and yesterday was one day apart.
He also said he is now joining the army as this has happend.
Wtf should I do ? I want space, I need space, but I'm not happy with splitting up - but I feel bribed ?
Surely if he cared, he'd wait.
2007-07-04 00:49:55 · 24 answers · asked by Tamara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like your relationship is over!
2007-07-04 00:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
There is no right and wrong here it is just that you two may not be the best match for each other. After only a month and a half you both seem to have a different view as what togetherness should be. I don't know the details but if someone is joining the Army this sounds like more than a small argument.
If you "want space and need space but are are not happy with splitting up", you cannot have your cake and eat it too. This is not a criticism but a mere view asking how you two hope to find happiness in the long run with a substantial different view on what you each require from life.
Sometimes it is better to deal with the problem early , since you are just starting out, rather than trying to force each others way of life on one another.
Of course it hurts initially, but life sucks. Remember that pain is only weakness leaving the body.
If you totally disagree with me, then you have your answer. Just start forgetting about the space you need.
2007-07-04 09:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by Kenneth L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what to tell you about this relationship, but if you manage to sort it out, or if you move on to a next relationship - always take time for yourself, before you actually beg for it.
Even if you don't think that you need it right now - I am sure you will find ways to spend your time. This makes people respect other person's wishes and don't hink of them as of their property.
Also prevents from hearting each other. Never start seeing someone every day from the start of relationship. You will never belong to anyone and there will always be times when you need time for yourself. Even if you are married and you want take tennis classes 3 times a week - this is your time and you are not doing anything wrong - and everyone needs it.
Try to explain it to him. And him going to the Army is not your fault at all. This is something he was subconsiously consedering for a while, but needed some event in his life to push him to do it.
You cannot stop this. Just talk to him and find out if he is joining it for right reasons or is it just that he feels he has to do some dramatic change, but doesn't exactly know what, so opted for a common choice.
2007-07-04 09:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by gavira_76 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's both massively insecure and is playing games. Asking for a day off to collect your thoughts is in no way out of line. As a matter of fact, if you didn't want or need a little time to yourself, something would be wrong. Call his bluff and tell him to join the army and you'll send him a box of cookies in Iraq. Don't call him afterwards and watch him crumble. I hate games. They're so childish.
2007-07-04 08:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, perhaps he was looking for an excuse to leave you. As you said, he was going to join the Army. He must know the statistics of military men and relationships: come deployment time (IT WILL COME), most women say they'll wait, but they don't, and end up cheating on their man. Perhaps he wanted to avoid this pain, and so he needed an excuse to leave you as he joined the Army. Trust me, I'm a Marine, and I know the stats. That's why I deployed single. No worries then.
But you did say he took it the wrong way. Well, explain it to him that you didn't mean it in that fashion. If he's willing to listen to you, and at least contemplate your words, then perhaps he still wants you. But if he avoids you, ignores you, or simply doesn't want to hear it, yeah, you guys are pretty much done. But I can't help but think about that quote, "We can still be friends, I still think alot of you". It sounds to me like he wanted to end it with you, but needed a plan to soften the blow, and needed an legitimate excuse to do so. Whether it's the Army, or something else entirely, it sounds like he was planning on leaving you for a little while at the least, but just didn't have the guts to straight up tell you until his trap was laid. And you triggered the reaction. But the best thing you can do is simply explain yourself to him.
2007-07-04 08:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by Niko? 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
selfish sow.
think of other people either than just yourself.
Hes better off without you.
Im sure he cares about you...just extremely pissed about the fact you need "space"
hes probably taking the fact you need space like your looking for other men...which you probably...are
and since you need space and can perfectly adapt to it perfectly...that just proves he loves you more and YOU dont need someone...you say your not happy splitting up..yet you want space..love aint burger king..you cant always have it your way..
or supposed love.
once your man joins the army you can have all the space you want. Mrs space. might as well join MYSPACE
haha
i salute your boyfriend. and ***** that girl that said to go have a 3 some what a dumb sow sluttyy whoree..
2007-07-04 08:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by ffff222 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well.... 90% of the time when one partner says they need some space it leads to a break-up. He probably figured this is what was going to happen and decided to be the dumper instead of the dumpee. I agree if he really cared he would wait, so it appears he doesn't. I do remember you posting before about getting back with your ex, don't use this opportunity to do that, because that will lead to the same problems as before. Take your time and find someone who you have a lot in common with and make you smile. Good Luck!
2007-07-04 08:02:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
He could be a control freak. However, most likely he's ready for a new girl. He has had sex with you so the newness and excitement is no longer there.
The reason you are attracted to him is because he is hott and cocky; he's good looking and he knows it. Girls are easy for him so he takes advantage of it. With a good looking hott guy, a new girl is always better, more exciting, and sexier than a girl he has had sex with for a while.
He was already ready to move to next pretty and sexy girl. You just gave him an excuse he could use.
2007-07-04 08:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You asked for space and you got it, I can't see what you are complaining about. If after six weeks you need time out, what will happen after you have been married for 60 years? At six weeks if you loved each other you would not have needed any space. .
2007-07-04 07:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Winnie... Never again in your life do I ever want you to say that girls mature faster than boys.
There are lots of great girls 11-13 that are fun and mature, but you don't know how many girls age 11-13 there are that are annoying as hell and how few boys there are of that age range that are that annoying.
Just thought I'd clear that up.
2007-07-04 08:05:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
He sounds insecure and distrustful to me. He might think you aren't interested in him anymore and want to date other guys. I have had guys try to monopolize all my free time and it drove me nuts. If he can't be enough of a man and give you a little freedom when you need it, there is something wrong with him. What a drama "king."
2007-07-04 08:01:25 · answer #11 · answered by Catherine R 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋