I can't stand my life anymore?

Question

I turn 20 next year in January & I've never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, & I'm about to be in my second year in college, all i've done is kiss a girl which was through playing truth or dare, I used to be shy a lot around girls in middle school & high school, but I'm starting to improve a lot, but I feel I've missed too much already & it's too late to have a girlfriend, I just recently saw the move The 40 Year Old Virgin, first of all, I'm not pathetic like Steve Carrell, I have a car, I don't collect action figures. I'm not fat, I'm 5'7, I weigh 185lbs. I'm not afraid to approach girls anymore, I'm just scared of asking them for their phone numer & asking them out, because I'm still afraid of rejection & hate always hearing "I have a boyfriend, blah blah blah". I don't wanna lose my virginity to a hooker, cause I think thats also pathetic. Man, I think 20 is too late to not have a girlfriend & be a virgin, because the movie says, 40 is the new 20, do most girls hate virgin guys?

girls are not my only problem, I don't have a lot of friends, me & them never get invited to parties, I go to a community college, I ****** up my first year so I have to start over again, I'm missing out on all the real college parties at the 4-year universities, I can't get a job, I've turned in a lot of applications, & they haven't called me & it's been more than a week, some even a month, me & my friends have bad luck all the time when it comes to going out, like it always ends up being a waste of a night, like something we plan out always gets ruined, I have Asperger Syndrome. I don't hang out with my friends that much anymore because of all the ruined nights & weekends we've had, because it's gonna be another waste of a night if I hang out with them again, thats why I'm home pretty much all the time, I've tried everything & I just can't seem to have a normal social life like most young adults have, I wish I could commit suicide by shooting myself bu I don't have a gun.

Answer 1

no no no 20 is not too late. I suggest you first concentrate to your school, girls and sex will come anyways. You get into a night life, student cafes, bars, where young and horny girls can be found. Start chatting and drink, you can understand if she look for someone...

Answer 2

Being a virgin at 20 it not a bad thing considering how many diseases there are in the world and how nasty some people can be. when it comes down to asking for numbers maybe you need to change your strategy and make sure you don't sound or look desperate when asking. By all means don't try to rush into dating even though your twenty it's still hope for you and time, now what you need to do is secure a female friend who can tell you what females like and will help you to understand female on a more personal level. this will also serve as sort of hands on experience lesson. You need to really pick up on your studies because a woman like a woman who can talk to her on her level of intelligence. Also what if you do find a woman and you'll end up being college sweet hearts that community college certificate or diploma will make a difference in whether you will end up eating sirloin or chopped liver. If you really want a job in this day in time you have to call and aggravate the company until they get tired of you or hire you because they see you want to work.
Sometimes it better to do things on your own it's good to have friends as long as you or strong willed and can think for yourself. Try being more spontaneous because plans almost always don't work, so when you want fun from now own don't plan your every move improvise as you go along.

Answer 3

Allright man no most girls dont hate it..They will feel special if they are your first...Secondly man your 20 your very young and Sex is not that big of a deal..dont get me wrong its good but its not the end all be all of your world..consider yourself lucky that your in college and do not have the distraction of a girlfriend that will pay off in the long run for you trust me...Secondly 40 year old virgin was just a movie..Thirdly being able to talk to a girl is simply a mentality who cares if you get rejected if you ask for a number or even a date i dont they wont either just dont take as a life or death kind of thing..When you talk to a girl know this and if there is a girl on here who disagrees with me let me know..but all Girls are attracted to self confidence..and if sex is what you need to have that..then you might be in trouble because trust me your first time will not be all that..

You will be allright buddy keep your chin up and just relax you will be fine

Answer 4

Wow, you sound A LOT like me, I turned 23 in February, I have never had a bf, i too am still a virgin and DAMN proud of it, at least I know I dont have AIDS or an STD, or worry about being pregnate. And to be completely honest with, I have never even been kissed, i feel like a big loser for that last part though. Boys werent really a big part of my life in school, i was more set on all my studies and sporting events, so time just kinda flew away from me in that department. Dont get me wrong, i also asked guys out in high school and have been asked out but the ones i wanted rejected me, wanted to be "Friends" and the others werent my type, it never led to even a FIRST DATE, also like you, i dont have an entourage of friends, a few close ones thats about all, im laid off from my job, cant find a new one, no one around here is hiring, but one thing-i dont wanna commit suicide, there is a lot to live for, just think of the future you MIGHT have, i was REALLY shy for most of my life, but i have learned to cope with that, i used to keep my mouth shut in fear that if i opened it, someone would tell me to shut up and that what i had to say didnt matter, but i have convinced myself, that i dont give a damn what other people think of me. I have a voice and i sure as hell am going to use it. I am a single, unemployed, virgin, who is content with who i am, and i know that things will get better. I HOPE that you will look at the positives in life and stop thinking about suicide, if you need a vent-email me, i wont judge and you dont have to worry about me spilling your guts to your friends! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! START SMILING:D:D......

Answer 5

First and foremost, get in to see a professional right away. I am a survivor of my husbands suicide. I take suicide very, very seriously. Promise me you will find a counselor to talk to.

Having said that, you and I both know what the center of the problem is. Asperger's. It is difficult for you to form relationships and it is not your fault. It is very normal for you to want what everyone else seems to have but it seems out of reach for you because you will react in ways, many people will not understand.

I would suggest that you strive to make friendships for now. After all, good loving relationships should start off as being good friends. The sex thing will come when it is time. I agree with what others have said. That movie is not real life. Sex should not come by a certain age. It should come when circumstances are right.

I would also suggest that you get some support for the disorder. I found a few places on the net for support.

http://www.kandi.org/aspergers/Support_Groups_and_Organizations/index2.html

http://home.vicnet.net.au/~asperger/

http://dir.yahoo.com/Health/Diseases_and_Conditions/Asperger_s_Syndrome/

Seek out others who have the disorder and find some common ground. You may very well find some secrets to how they overcame their social inadequacies to form relationships.

This is not your fault but it is well within your ability to find ways to overcome the weaknesses you were born with. You are obviously very intelligent and I believe in your power to learn to help yourself and find happiness. Happiness is a choice. Choose it! Happiness does not depend on anyone else. You will not be a good mate unless you are happy with yourself anyway.

Best wishes for the brightest future.

Answer 6

You need to make up with yourself what is unsuitable on your life, what do you wish to have to beef up. There's always room for improvement. On the grounds that I don't know what exactly is causing you to suppose depressed, it's tough for me to provide you with advice on methods to enhance your predicament. Committing suicide will not rather support on some thing. How have you learnt matters won't come to be higher in the future? And so with the aid of committing suicide you lose the chance of seeing this growth on your future. I feel that would be a disgrace. My advice for you is to take a destroy from the whole thing. If you are studying at Uni, see if which you could take a one semester smash. When you've got a boyfriend, tell him you desire a ruin. In case you have a job, take a spoil from it. I feel hanging the whole lot on maintain for a at the same time is going to be rather excellent for you. After getting at all times on the earth, specializing in yourself instead of the whole thing else. Attempt to to find the foundation of the challenge. Do anything that you revel in. Search happiness and seem at areas you generally wouldn't seem at. I feel this is the nice advice i can provide you with with out realizing exactly what your situation is. Excellent good fortune.

Answer 7

Dont give in without a fight man...
Dont Let it win over you
I say live your life like today is your last
choosing a day where you just say ***** ITT im going to talk to this girl and whatever happens happens
Do it for yourself. Be The one out of your friends who succedded. Dont be afraid.
You dont know unless you try brother.

Try...LIVE! Theres so much things you can experience its never too late. NEVER!!!!!! Look at hugh hefner! hes like 90!
Make something out of yourself
Use your pain to achieve your goals
Gain perseverance
remember...
your never alone...



Hatebreed- Your never alone

This is for the kids who have no where to turn
Who have nothing to live for
You think you haven't the will to persist
You have to search within yourself

All the work that you've done in vain
Been overlooked and taken for granted
Only you can end your suffering
You must be honest with yourself
You have nothing left to lose
You feel that everyone's out to get you
Been beaten down but the hate still breaths
Confined by consequences, it's your soul you must release

It's our struggles that define us
And the hardships we endure
Your spirit can't be broken now
You've come too far

All your life
You told yourself you were never alone
All your time
Spent on the problems that have no solution
In your mind
Giving up was never an option
Out of spite
Hold onto the hate that has helped you stay focused

You are one but you're never alone
You can't atone for every promise you've broken
In this moment there's no way you will fail
You must be honest with yourself
Use your pain to achieve your goals
Make amends while you can and stay focused
You can't be burdened by your lack of control
Never stray from the path you have chosen

This spirit can't be broken
It's who you are.

Answer 8

You really can't live your life as a movie. It is simply not one. Seek out some girls with a common interest (a school subject, some type of event, a church group, the environment, etc) and focus on building some friendships through those things. You might just be surprised where they lead to..

Best of Luck to You!

~

Answer 9

first and for most...don't talk about killing yourself! second life ain't easy ! chin up young man you have a long life in front of you.join some social groups like bowling leagues,darts etc.even church socials.lots of nice people there,believe me i know.don't believe me ask me more.the job thing well it take a long time to get a job.sometimes you have to keep going back and letting them know you really are serious about it,make a second even third trip to each place you applied too and talk to the manager.i can tell you it took me 6 and 1/2 months to get the job i now have that i wanted badly enough to bug the hell out of them till they gave me the job.and about you bein a virgin,well look at it this way you are disease free and a women should be happy about that.maybe the group of girls you are interested in are just that (GIRLS) maybe you need to look else where?

Answer 10

Please let me tell you this, at 20 life is very confusing and allot of young people feel the same as you. It is a very confusing and doubting time for allot of young men and women. Please be kind to yourself, it seems to me that you are eager to be "normal" and have sex and girls like other so called "normal" boys your age.Please do things in your own time and develop into yourself gradually. There is plent of time to lose your virginity to somebody who cares about you. 2o is really yound. my partner was a virgin at 20 and im glad he has not slept about, no girl wants a guy who has been about having random sex with meaningles people. You need to focus on your college work and enjoy your mates. I felt lost at 20 and it does get better i promise