how can you stop a child from becoming spoiled?

Question

being spoiled and then not being spoiled is a cycle in my family and a bad one at that. i was not spoiled. my parents were very spoiled. i wont even go into it, but they throw fits even on christmas if they dont get their way etc. its just awful.

because i wasnt spoiled, i am afraid that i might spoil my kids by giving them everything they want and need, just like my gparents. but then i was thinking i might spoil them too much.

so i was wondering how i can strike a balance and raise a polite child who isnt spoiled. however i dont want to not give them anything nice and make them suffer. i want them to be happy. but how can i make them nice and not arrogant?

i saw this with my friend too. her mom has nothing as a child of 10 children on a farm and she spoiled my friend. i love my friend, but she is obnoxious, looks down on poor people etc. its awful. thinks shes awesome because of her ritzy money. doesnt perceive human values.

how can i avoid this?

thank you.

ps my friend has many good traits too. but some she is a little spoiled.

Answer 1

You know what... it is very hard not to spoil your kids i was spoiled as a kid and i do the same with my daughter now but i also teach her manners and to respect others as human being.. there are different ways to spoild your child but u also need to rememeber to not let it go to their heads becasue one day we can have everything and the next nothing. It all depends on you as the parent

Answer 2

Because you are already very concerned about this matter shows a great more wisdom in child-rearing than most who have grown children. I feel like you do. One way i teach my son the importance of good manners and having a thankful heart is to display it often.If you aren't thankful and it you don't show gratitude, he won't either. Another way is I am form a huge family of 12 children and we were NOT SPOILED at all. But we are very close and we understand sacrifices and "wait til I can get some money". I tell my son stories of my childhood and how we scrimped and saved for the smallest things and how wonderful I felt to get the most minute gifts. He really gets it. He is an only child and receives many gifts, but he is so thankful for what he has and he takes good care of his things. Plus when he gets his allowance he saves it or spends it on us, his parents a lot of the time. I also let him help me in the church giving out food, clothes, and giving rides to the needy to Bible study. It helps him to see that he is blessed to have nice things.

Answer 3

What a lovely way to put this question. Lotss of cuddles and talking to your children often helps, because that is the thing that you and they will find invaluable during life, most children need a full tummy, dry bed and lots of attention.

Toys, and those sort of things yes but in moderation, they will learn to appreciate the things they have better.

Follow your heart and make sure that your head is keeping pace you won't go wrong, and you will have beaut children.

Enjoy your children
try this one it's calles a receipe for children
One head full of understanding
One Heartful Of Love
12 arms not 2
1 years worth of patience
2 Bank Accounts continously moving
understanding the word mum means run
mix all the ingredients together and that's a mum's lot

Answer 4

i'm glad you're concerned because this is what sets a child up for the real world.

i think you already understand that it's not necessary to have material things to be happy. sometimes when you get gifts and stuff, it can be really joyful. I grew up in the middle. my parents didn't give me too much as a kid. my dad always reminded me that there are so many poor people out there that we have to help them if we can. he showed me what hard work and earning things on your own were important. he showed us giving is rewarding and pleasing to GOD.

As long as you have a strong foundation in God's word of how to live your life to achieve joy and balance, it's not wrong to give your children things that they want when the time is right.

I think at a young age, children need attention and interaction with their parents. All of my 2 yr old's toys were given to her by grandma and friends. Some are handme downs. When I go to the toy store and grabs stuff, I let her hold it for a while and say okay, it's time to go now , put it back. and she already knows that it's time to go. It starts with YOUR discipline in not saying yes all the time. set limits for yourself and your children and reward them when you think they deserve it.

Answer 5

You cannot spoil a child be being a loving, caring and affection parent,, Hold you crying baby, hug you kids, cuddle with them. Teach them right from wrong by being a good role model. DO NOT SPANK THEM, but use logical consequences and reasoning. (A child who is too young to reason with is also too young to understand the abstract connection between misbehavior and getting swatted) Redirect them,

If you do these things your children will be respectful of others, articulate, caring, and a joy to be around!

And no how many things you bestow upon them, they will remain unspoiled.

Answer 6

Discipline is necessary, so if they do something good, then give them what they want. Keep it that way. If they do something that you've never dreamed of, again you have to be tough with them, that they may get scared, and never dare to do something like that again. They will get their rewards and so will you.

Answer 7

time out

Answer 8

make sure they can't get to phone and spank them real hard.