things i owe to my mohter. kinda funny?

Question

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about t ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Answer 1

Very Funny. Tell ya all mothers are the same. Oceans separate our mothers, but they speak the same words.
Wow !
Must have been to the same training school.
And they tell us we don't come with ' How to bring up ' manuals.


That kinda made me smile and I just called Mom into my room and showed it to her. She's got these tears rolling down her cheeks.

I've starred this one and becoming a fan too.

Answer 2

Excellent.

Answer 3

Lol. I think I've already heard this before in a e-mail. But I didn't see 25 of them.

Answer 4

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! JUST CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Those were so lovely! Oh Gina! Where have you been?



“I would like to request my friends at YA to join me in Wishing all our American friends a Very Enjoyable, Safe & Happy Independence Day today July 4th! May there be no untoward incidents!

Hey Americans! Our prayers are with you!!!”

Answer 5

Lol! That's funny! Imma e-mail these to my mom!

Answer 6

its so funny because its so true!! when you break your legs dont come running to me!! thats the one i always got!! lol its so fun to reminisce

Answer 7

An oldie but I ALWAYS ENJOY IT.

Answer 8

haha that's funny.. that is a such a mum!

Answer 9

I really enjoyed this!!

Answer 10

And haven't we heard these (and more!) our entire childhood! Thanks for making me smile! :-) *