1. *Warm & Moist*
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MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well...where is she?
MAN: She's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper
2007-07-03 17:19:20 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
2. *Hearing*
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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
2007-07-03 17:19:46 · update #1
3. * MAN WITH NO ARMS *
A man lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms.
One day he could not stand it anymore. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a tall building to jump off.
He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man on the sidewalk below skipping along whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and noticed this man didn't have any arms at all.
He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.
He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly, useless and was going to kill himself.
2007-07-03 17:20:18 · update #2
He thanked him again for saving his life and he now knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could do it with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again. He asked "Why are you so happy anyway ?"
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He said "I'm NOT happy; my *** itches."
2007-07-03 17:20:42 · update #3
HEY! DOES Any1 know how to upload a pict as my avatar from my PC...??
2007-07-03 17:38:00 · update #4
hahahahahahaha very funny...
to upload a pic as your avatar, you have to have a 360. Add pictures then select the one you want as primary. Then go to edit your info and select "use my 360 picture" then there you go. Good luck...sometimes it doesn't work because Yahoo sucks sometimes...
2007-07-03 19:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by treehugger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very Funny
2007-07-04 00:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by coolwaterpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny.....i liked the first one. and soz i have o idea how to do that but there was someone else who answered a question like that and she had some website...360 somethin
soz
2007-07-04 02:13:43 · answer #3 · answered by Pretty angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked only first one other i have heard before
2007-07-04 04:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh MY God! Outrageously Funny… Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hey! My tummy is paining laughing at these beauties!!!
2007-07-05 01:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
*I had heard them before, but u do deserve a star for reproducing them here !!!
Keep up the good work !!!
2007-07-04 00:48:53 · answer #6 · answered by ๏๓ รђคภtเ, รђคภtเ รђคภtเ ....... ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it very much....i didn't hear it before...thanks for make me laugh.....i never laugh like that before....u are so nice i like u....my family also like it...they also admire this...thanks a lot my friend and my relatives also like it specially my grandmother...thanks for make me and them happy..bye....
2007-07-05 02:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by blizt_88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am totally giving you a star for you i like those jokes so much !
2007-07-04 14:08:33 · answer #8 · answered by chat all you want 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first one was the best joke i have heard tonight. i am STILL laughing.
2007-07-04 02:04:23 · answer #9 · answered by hooah89d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA HA(IN THE GOOD WAY!) A STAR FOR U!
2007-07-04 00:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by Maboroshi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋