she wants her son to leave me how can i show her that i am human just like her?
2007-07-03 16:59:25 · 14 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm black too
some people are just like that but if she really loves her son and cares about what he wants she learn to love you like family
2007-07-03 17:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by hershiepie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is she from Oklahoma? lol, just kidding. The only way you are going to win her over is by taking good care of her son. She'll get past the black/white thing, but it'll take a little time. And on her defense, she knows it's hard these days to make a marriage work under the "best" circumstances. It's going to be even harder for you guys. What about children? Your children will be discriminated against. Are you prepared to handle that? The good thing is...it's not a taboo like it use to be. There are lots of people that marry someone of another race and have kids. It's a lot better than it use to be. You'll find it's just the older people that may have a problem with it...and that's just it...it's "their" problem. Don't make it yours. Good luck.
2007-07-04 00:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Becky F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be a perfect young lady.
be good to her son.
(be certain you are not imagining that mom does not like you and is unhappy.)
eventually she will come around.
you can't make her like you and there is nothing you can do about the way she feels about you.
however, if she sees that you are perfectly normal and a good wife, there will be a reasonable balance.
on a personal note,
when a young lady complained about my mother its did not work. my mother won everytime.
very important, no matter what our mothers do, a son will always love his mother. therefore, don't try the its me or her thing. we are irrevocably tied to our mothers, so don't put yourself in that position.
back to your family, remember mom is your family, so always be respectful and kind even if you are not crazy about her.
when mom sees that you make her son happy and you are a good wife, at some point she will likely warm up to you. you may even become very very good friends.
good luck and god bless.
ps: below are useful tips that will help to make life work better and without,or with less problems;
always keep yourself clean and in top form.
don't let yourself go and become overweight.
make sure the house is always clean.
be thrifty, don't spend wastefully.
before planning a family, be certain to accumulate savings to keep the family out of financial problems.
make your husband happy. don't sting like a bee.
2007-07-04 00:51:24 · answer #3 · answered by ramni222 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, make sure that thats the only reason why she doesnt like you. I mean, we hear it all the time people blaming others on these 'sensitive' issues like this and sometimes its not like it seems. But, anyway... if she has a prob because of the color of your skin then i believe that you need to sit down with her over coffie or some lunch and explain to her that you love your bf and you feel that he does just the same so if she wants her son to be happy she needs to work this out with you.
2007-07-04 00:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by Meloa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow... I am black, my fiance is white and originally his dad and step mom kinda were negative about the interracial thing.
You cannot force her to see that. All you can do is continue to be polite to her and even try to sit down and tell her that you dont appreciate her racism. That is what it is. Talk to your boyfriend... if he is unwilling to do something about it then I would SERIOUSLY reconsider marriage... how can you marry a man who WONT stick up for you? He should be addressing this, not you. Its his mother and he really should deal with this. If he truly loves you he will step in, even thought its his mom. Its hard, but its possible and worth it. No one in my family can say a damn thing against my fiance. I will rip into them, blood or not because I dont tolerate racism, not black on white, or white on black the **** is just wrong!
I feel for you honey... You know the best you could do is to try and talk it out with her, and see where it goes, but talk to your man first and tell him how its bothering you... Communication is KEY in any relationship.
2007-07-04 00:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people were just raised to be ignorant (racist). She may not think that she is, but some 'enlightened' white people still flinch when they see interracial (what a stupid, race seperating) term. I could be wrong about her, though. Again, I don't know her.
Your best bet is to sit down with her and him and just ask her why she does not like you. Let him defend your honor. If he truly loves you...he will 'stand up' That may be what is she waiting for. It sounds silly, but it was true in my case.
2007-07-04 00:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by CajunAsian 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
spend time with her maybe
but u may not be able to convince her some people r just old fashioned my parents r like that
i feel for u 2 and i hope it all works out it would be a shame for something as amazing as love to thrown away because of incorrect thinking on the moms part well good luck
2007-07-04 00:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by cowboy76360 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His mother grew up in a different generation. While you accept your relationship as two humans in love, she sees colors because when she grew up, there was less racial tolerance and segregation. Until the generations that have always lived that way are gone, and not teaching new generations, there will be racial stress.
I hope you and your bf have a great life together....
2007-07-04 00:08:11 · answer #8 · answered by bakfanlin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
because some people are so ignorant that they cant see that TRUE LOVE IS COLOR BLIND...
im sorry you are going through this, but i have been there too. i am a white woman who ONLY dates black men, so i have seen this too...
if she doesnt like you there is nothing you can do, but strive even harder to make her son INCREDIBLY happy..
maybe one day she will get it, until then best of luck to the two of you, and dont give up. Hold your head high, you deserve a man that loves you, regardless of the color or other peoples ignorant comments
oh, and CONGRATS :-)
2007-07-04 00:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
she may feel that a there be problems down the road, but
it really is not up to her, if you have been together for 4 years
then you need to do what is right for the both of you, you
should not have to show her anything. if she does not accept
up then it really is her problem not yours. congratulations
and good luck to both of you.
2007-07-04 00:07:02 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋