This may sound silly , but here it goes.My husband will do it openly admitting that because he is a man he will always deal with it, the sin of lust. He will check out other women because he has been told that the first look is not a sin and he also started looking at women on the computer , he said that they were just in bikinis, but I doubt it was the whole truth, and then I caught him in the bathroom relieving himself! He would never admit to cheating on me , though I strongly sense that he has in my heart. I feel so betrayed, and he thinks he has done nothing wrong. Is this grounds for divorce?What about matthew 5:27-28?
2007-07-03 16:39:48 · 19 answers · asked by genesisone31 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Please only serious christian answers. I already know what the worls thinks about his! And if I must add My drive was far more strongerfor my husband than my husbands for me! So NO I wasn't depriving him. In fact when he relieved himself , he was laying next to me before he decide to get up and do that in the bathroom! He would gawk at other women left and right , but then if I spent and hour getting pretty and walked by him he never turned to look! Yet the same man would flirt with the cashiers in the drug store and crack jokes with them! I am really offende by the stupid answers I got. I am asking for answers not criticism. Go be immature elsewhere! And Yes we did counseling . I left him and am contemplating divorce because he is making no effort to reconcile .
2007-07-03 17:16:48 · update #1
Please only serious christian answers. I already know what the world thinks about this! And if I must add My drive was far more strongerfor my husband than my husbands for me! So NO I wasn't depriving him. In fact when he relieved himself , he was laying next to me before he decide to get up and do that in the bathroom! He would gawk at other women left and right , but then if I spent and hour getting pretty and walked by him he never turned to look! Yet the same man would flirt with the cashiers in the drug store and crack jokes with them! I am really offende by the stupid answers I got. I am asking for answers not criticism. Go be immature elsewhere! And Yes we did counseling . I left him and am contemplating divorce because he is making no effort to reconcile .
2007-07-03 17:18:15 · update #2
We did everything the counseling , the praying together and separate, couple mentoring , books, trying to spice it up, talking about it together , ect
2007-07-03 17:52:31 · update #3
This has NOTHING to do with religion. This is a relationship issue. You are the one with issues. Men look at women. Men look at porn. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You have a low self esteem to think that your man looking at other women means he is cheating. Go get a book on relationships.
All the people that are saying this is immoral or anything else have NO CLUE at all about relationships nor what any marriage consular has ever said about them. Go get books on men and reltionships. These people here are just retarded, cept for Eris and Atheist.
2007-07-03 16:51:21 · answer #1 · answered by meissen97 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Lust is a sin that every man struggles with. And you are right on with what Jesus has to say about it. The fact that it is a sin that every man struggles with doesn't make it ok. He may see lust as an innocent thing, but there is a reason that Jesus says whoever looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. Everything starts in the heart.
Although you feel betrayed (as I think all women would), there are probably some steps you could take before you seriously consider divorce. If you attend church, talk to your pastor. If not, find a counselor. Also, I highly recommend the book Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn, if you can get him to read it. It's all about how men are prone to lusting and what the Bible and God have to say about it. It has dozens of stories of men who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality.
Also, xxxchurch.com is a Christian based website that deals with porn addiction and sexual immorality.
2007-07-03 23:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by Jmac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is adultery plain and simple.
Been there done that - there is no excuse. He has to exercise discipline and purity in the marriage.
Sounds like he is the beginning stage of sexual addiction. That's a hard path.
Though I would work with him rather than divorce right off the bat.
It doesn't matter what anyone says about this one - a guy derives sexual pleasure visually. If a guy is looking a half-nekkid girl he is getting sexual pleasure from it.
Jesus said if you lust in heart you are commiting adultery. As men wer are called to purity. Time to step up and quit with the excuses!
2007-07-04 00:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by Emperor Insania Says Bye! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not fornication, but it is adultery and it certainly is immoral. St. Paul says that if you look at a woman with lust, you have committed adultery. Yes, you can look at the opposite sex, but if you think "Hmm...I'd like to see that naked on my bed" then you have committed adultery.
I think all pornography is immoral, it depreciates sex as well as creating men and women into objects for entertainment. They are no longer people, but just something to watch and throw away. What will that make US in a few years? This is why there are people who think raping someone is okay, because they're nothing more than an object in their eyes.
I think all that stems from pornography. It's also possible to become addicted to porn, so maybe your husband is? If you really want to see what he's looking at, just go to the history and look. Or you can look at the cookies in your computer to see where he's gone.
But if you feel in your that he's cheating on you, then I say go with your insticts and see. But yes, I say he is an adulterer as well as immoral.
2007-07-04 00:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Aleria: United Year Of Faith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He hasn't done anything wrong, honey. You are overreacting. If you're going to freak out over nothing then maybe you should get a divorce because he deserves better.
Btw... you can't tell me you've never looked at some cute movie star and had a fantasy about how they'd be in bed even if it was only for a fleeting second. You're a human being.
Its only wrong if it takes over your life or if he acts on it.
Edit: If you can't get over this, your relationship is going to end. And frankly, he deserves better.
2007-07-03 23:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Men will always look at women and you shouldnt feel bad looking at men. Its physical attraction. What matters is that you too have a bond that goes beyond just the physical. You two are married...should be in love and trust each other. If you feel like he's lying to you and that he does not feel that way about you I think you should act. Not necessarily a divorce...maybe a getaway alone. Maybe trial seperation. See how he feels about you.
2007-07-03 23:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is sin to sexually gaze upon a naked or semi naked women:
(Prov 6:25) "Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids."
(Job 31:1) "I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?"
And your fear that he could seek our live flesh for sexual purposes is well gounded.
If you are in a solid church you need to seek to bring this to the pastor, and your husband with you.
As for grounds for divorce, the way i see it, fornication/adultery is, according to the verses quoted, though i think it would be the actual activity with another.
But you need to get some people praying on this now and really seek the Lord yourself.
2007-07-03 23:57:38 · answer #7 · answered by www.peacebyjesus 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men look at naked women. It is what they do.
There are "no fault" divorce laws, you don't have to have grounds for a divorce, but what a silly reason to get a divorce.
You know, some women find sex more exciting and fun after their husband has been looking at porn. Why don't you use this to talk about your sex life and see if there is something more you could be doing for him.
But, in general, looking at a few pictures and masturbating is not a problem.
2007-07-03 23:51:10 · answer #8 · answered by atheist 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get over the sin business, and get with the sex business. If he's looking elsewhere you must not be fulfulling all his needs. Marriage is a two way street, you want him to be faithful, well give him what he needs. Do him till he can't walk, and you won't find him with wandering eyes, or hands.
Christianity teaches sex is dirty outside of marriage, and some people let that carry into the marriage like it's some obligation. Well let me tell you sister, it ain't dirty. Ride him hard and put him away wet. Don't forget your needs too! It's his job to rock your world, make sure he lives up to it.
2007-07-03 23:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
you can get a divorce if you want to...you don't need grounds. But if you need to quote scripture to him about this....then there is a problem. Why is he going to a web site? I would see a counselor, he may just stop a looking at porn and getting off, but he could take the next step. In the end, it's what you can deal with.
2007-07-03 23:48:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋