Okay, my daughter is 7 yrs old and tries to act like a 2 yr old. She's very smart, straight A's all the way through K and 1st grade. But she has no common sense. She doesn't pay attention to any thing we say. I mean, she can ask you a question and as soon as she is finished asking she completely tunes us out. So the next thing she says is either "Huh?" or she is re-asking the same question b/c she didn't listen long enough to hear the answer. And she is always trying to get her little brother (he's 5) into trouble. She will purposefully tell him to do something she knows is wrong and then try to draw our attention to it so that he gets punished. Also, he is going into Kindergarten this year and I have been working with him on his letters and numbers, etc. She always tries to get in the middle of things like, "look Mommy, I can do this". I tell her that I am very proud that she can do it and I know that she is very smart but I need to work with him. I love them both so much.
2007-07-03 15:48:05 · 7 answers · asked by Valerie T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like a pretty normal 7yr old. She's been the one in school and she is the one who got all the attention, and now he's going to school too. She's feeling like she isn't special any more.
I swear that this sort of stuff is what makes mothers pull all their hair out or start drinking. Mine drove me nuts with the competitive stuff. Frankly, I think you could probably spend every minute of every day with her and it wouldn't be enough.
So, what you can do is make up special big girl things for her and her alone to do. If you haven't been to "tea" then do that with her once a month. Dress up, go someplace, order "tea" and desserts, and have mother and daughter talk. Take just her shopping, or on alittle day trip. Basically find something to do every month or week that is just you two, and something so special that its just for her, and not for her brother.
Another thing you can do, is put her in charge of getting him ready for kindergarten. Have her work with him on letters and numbers, and to read to him. Have her be in charge of helping him get his school supplies together.
As much as you would like her to be more mature, she's not going to be until she is ready. When you answer a question or tell her something, lower your voice so she has to listen really hard to hear you. Don't repeat things. Tell her that from now on the rule is that she has to listen the first time, and you will not repeat anything. Make sure some of the things you are telling her are "lets have ice cream" or "I want to read a story to you." so she comes to understand that you are saying positive things as well as telling her what she needs to do.
This too will pass, hang in there.
2007-07-03 16:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sounds like your daughter is a bit jealous... it really does... but it also sounds like a lot more. She is inattentive, or perhaps spoiled and doesnt listen. I'm not trying to pass judgement on your kid, just working out my thoughts as I am writing them. It may not seem that way to you, but children have different needs and our perception of those needs arent always dead on...
I went through this with my sister. She was definitely attention starved, thought she got attention. She listened to only what she wanted to hear then tuned us all out, she would influence our younger sisters to do dumb ish... it was really crazy. Come to find out, it was jealousy of my relationship with mom and a clear inequity. Not saying that is the case here, BUT it could be. There could be something that is registering in her mind that you love him better, also he is the baby so everyone probably coo's over him. I am the oldest of 4 girls and when mom had a new baby she would put the baby in our arms and tell us it was OUR baby and we had to help her. It gave a sense of responsibility and maturity too. It did help and cut down on a lot of problems, though too many mom's spoil the soup lol.
Hope this helps some, try getting her to help him with his letters, and numbers. Try getting her to become invested in his development. It gives her a role and makes her feel wanted and needed too
2007-07-03 15:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, YOU might think she isn't attention deprived - but- it is not how SHE feels.
Do you spend any "special" time with her - like you do now that you are teaching little brother letters and numbers?
It's time for som real mommy/daughter one on one time - preferably outside the home without little brother in tow. Where you can focus 100% attention on her. Then when you are teaching your son you can tell her that she had her special time, and now you need to give your son some. Set her up with a coloring book - or other activity while you work with your son.
Also, when you are teaching your son, you can include her..make flash cards and have her help by flipping them over - incorporate BOTH children, so she isn't interrupting, but rather helping you.
As far as her attention span - very typical for her age.
2007-07-03 15:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You sound like you are doing the right things with your daughter. Maybe one solution could be to set aside some time with just you and her once a week that can't be interrupted, even if it is just going to the shops for an ice cream. Or you could get her involved in a sport or dancing, one that her brother cannot participate it. Maybe if she feels more special, she will fall in line in other areas. Having said all that, it does sound like you are doing a great job anyway.
2007-07-03 16:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by FUDDIN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a typical case of sibling rivality... with you as the prize.
I think you need to take care to make sure you are setting aside some individual daughter time and some individual son time. You need to make it clear to her (and him) that each of them gets their special time one on one with you... feel free to add in special daddy time too... Durring that time, unless it is horribly urgent, blood or bodily functions involved, that time is only for that child.
I think it might be a little far to wonder if she might need to be checked for ADD but it might be benificial to have her hearing checked just to be sure its her not paying attention and not the fact that she cant hear you to pay attention.
Some children are told too many things by their parents, especially if they are negitive... dont hit your brother, dont climb on the couch, dont throw your toys, dont interupt -mommy is talking... maybe some postive reinforcement is needed to snap her attention back. O and you might want to keep your answers with her short especially if there are other distracting things around.
2007-07-03 16:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's jealous because he needs your attention as well. Best solution is to involve her in his care. Not easy but it will make her feel more involved and less like there's a competition for your attention.
2007-07-03 20:26:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is noramal!! SHe wants your attention she is scared that her little brother is going to get all of the attention and she is not going to get any. Just assure her it will not happen beacause you love her!!
2007-07-03 16:23:15 · answer #7 · answered by XxKelseyxX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋