Am I mean ???

Question

Ok my boyfriend of 3 yrs and I just got a house together and it is basically new inside new tile ,paint and carpet here is the issue his brother has 3 kids ages 7,2and8months he is 23 and his gf is 25 I know they are not ready for kids yet but when they go to other ppls houses they let thier kids run amuck getting dirty outside and coming inside only to mess things up inside they let the 2 yr old walk around with koolaid in her cup spilling it everywhere when i get anoyed and try to say something my bf calls me mean . it is not my fault they dont take care of them what can i do ??? i am only protecting our investment and i have mentioned it to the parents but they seem to not care HELP

Answer 1

ur not mean..... put a fence up in the backyard and let them run amuk

Answer 2

I don't think you're being mean.
It's your house so you set the boundaries.
But your issue isn't with the kids, they are too young.
I would say that you need to talk with the children's parents, but you have already done that from the sounds of things.

With kids around stuff happens (like spilled Kool-Aid etc) but it's up to the parents to teach their kids some respect for other peoples homes. But if the parents that are supposed to be the good role models have no respect for others to start with, then I am afraid that you have nothing to work with here.

Plus your boyfriend doesn't seem to be a good ally for you.
You bought a house together?

Here's something for you to think about.
Your boyfriends family has a parenting style that is at odds with your own, & he agrees with THEM.
I think he is telling you LOUD & CLEAR what kind of parent HE will be, should you two decide to start a family of your own.

You are struggling now to protect your investment.
How much more are you prepared to invest in this relationship?

Answer 3

This would be an awesome time to invest in a sippy cup (no spill plastic cup with lid for kids). They are amazing and cheap.
Its also kind of late to be pointing out to this couple after they've had 3 kids that they arent ready for kids (chances are they've already come to this conclusion themselves many MANY times).
I can completely understand wanting to protect your house from grubby children and koolaid stains especially in a new house with new everything.
Since this is part of your investment and part of his *I'm getting a wicked idea of putting tape on half the floor calling it his and only letting the kids play on that side...* but if thats not possible, you either need to restrict these kids to easy to clean areas... the kitchen/basement until you can get them cleaned up after coming in dirty, or you need to ugg... restrict their visits... which is sure to cause some conflict with you and bf.
I would assume that you and bf are considering making things permant... now might be an excellent time to discuss how you are planning on raising your kids should they come.
Use this as a template as to how children are to be treated when at your home.
Should you continue to talk to bf and reach no conclusion, you might not be able to reach one should you have children with him.
Your best bet is to get bf on your side and then tackle the brother and his gf. Tell them you are concerned about your new investment (call it that) and would they be able to help keep the kids in line while visiting with you?
If worst comes to worst, constantly be outside, go to the park and do outdoorsey activities, and meet up with these kids on their own turf.

Answer 4

You are not mean.

You also have the right to stand up. By inviting these people into your home, you are trusting that they will control their children. Well, maybe rein them in is more like it.

Sure the little one is 2, but that does not mean that she can go walking around in a new house with koolaid. (Plus, shouldn't she have a sippy-cup with handles and a leak proff lid?)

Also, tell your boyfriend that you have the right to be upset because you have invested money into your new home and how people act in it is your business, even if you aren't directly related.

If he gets upset still, be frank with his sister. Tell her that even though you care about her and her kids (assuming here) how they are acting in you house upsets you. When they are at THEIR home, they can act however they want. By allowing her kids to act so in public, even at a RELATIVE'S house, is unacceptable and teaches them bad behavior. I know for a FACT that I would, and probably did, get in trouble at my Aunt's and Grandma's house when I did that stuff. (And I am sure whenever you visit their place, you are always polite and curteous.)

Finally, if the behavior STILL continues after all of this, either don't invite them over, or leave before they arrive so it will be your boyfriend's responsibility to clean up after them and maybe he will then change his mind.

OR, print this out and leave it for your bf to see, I don't care. Maybe if he sees other people's reactions, it will make him open his eyes.

Answer 5

i would try to seriously talk to your boyfriend about the issue because if you two buy things and allow other people to mess it up you'll end up with crappy things and stuff i would tell the two year old i had a special cup for him or her make sure it has something they like on it and a lid so it wont spill that could help a little and have some games/toys they can keep themselves entertained with hope this helps :)

Answer 6

you are not mean at all. Parents should teach their children to respect others' homes. I would either stop having them over or do not allow the children to leave the table with beverages or food. Also, designate a room where they can play with unbreakables and things they cannot totally destroy.

Answer 7

Ask your boyfriend if his brother ever heard of condoms

Answer 8

if the parents wont make them take their shoes off, and be neat, then you do it! same here. i got tired of cleaning up after others...enforce the rules...

Answer 9

you have every right to protect your home

Answer 10

No..you aren't mean.. if anything. he should be just as upset as you are.. They should respect your place as you would theirs.