How to tell my parents I intend to become a Pastor?

Question

First of all, I'm ELCA Lutheran, so yes, female pastors are allowed. I'm not asking your opinion on female pastors.

Moving on, how to I tell my parents about this calling? Other people I am close to know, and are supportive. I have a friend or two who has laughed at me and told me I'm wasting my life, but that's beside the point. I can deal with them. But how do I tell my parents? It seems like they expect me to go into business or law or something like that... But that's not where I see myself. Any advice, please?

I'm 15.

I'd have to attend college and get a Bachelor's Degree in something, probably Liberal Arts.

Then I'd go for 4-yrs at a Seminary.

Answer 1

Ask your parents if they've been happy with the life choices they've made. Get them to really talk about it, if possible. Have they done what they really wanted to do? Do they have any regrets?

Once they start thinking about, and responding to, questions like that, you can introduce the topic of what YOU want to do with your life--not in a "gotcha" way, of course. If, for instance, your father chose a profession that has given him great satisfaction, you can say something like, "that's the way I feel about entering the ministry." In other words, help them walk a mile in your moccasins.

Answer 2

I think that if you want to become a pastor, you should sit down with your parents and explain to them why you wish to do so. However, before you sit down with them, think about the reasons they would NOT want you to become a pastor. Let's say they are not opposed to it for any spiritual reasons, but feel that you would not be adequately provided for in the long term. If that is the case, then maybe you should propose to them that you get a business degree (or a college degree of some sort) in addition to the training you will need to become a pastor. This may alleviate any of the fears they may have. Whether it is an issue with your parents or not, I would HIGHLY recommend getting a college education NOT tied to being a pastor. You may feel called to be a pastor now, but in the future, God may have other plans for you. All spiritual matters aside - church's are non profit entities and they go defunct everyday. I would recommend you have something to fall back on in the event that you did not have a congregation to support you. I might also point out that most of the people in ministry that I know (and that would actually be most of the people I know) have a second job. They don't call preaching a ministry for nothing. It is not a lucrative calling at all; albeit an honorable one. I hope this helps and I wish you well in your pursuit.

Answer 3

If you know a woman pastor from your ELCA church, she would be a good support person to perhaps visit with your parents and let them see a matured vocation "in the flesh". We have a visiting pastor once a month from a nearby village Lutheran church and she is an inspiration to us all, and I can't think of a better bulwark against parental "expectations" that are not your own. If your vocation is strong and you head for the right seminary once the discernment process is solid in your heart and spirits, GO for it! Business or law or "something like that" is perhaps more of a reflection of their ambitions...so notch it up and let them join in the joy of your aspirations when they're ready. If you see yourself as a pastor, help them see you as one too!

Answer 4

If you feel it is a "calling" as in - from God, then it shouldn't matter to you what others say. Right? Or, then again, should it matter. I would not rush into ministry. I was in ministry - RCA, ordained and all that. The pressure of ministry nearly destroyed me, my marriage and my family. Needless to say, I'm not in pastoral ministry any more. Some people will challenge your "call" to help you determine if it is the real deal. Before you take the leep, tell your folks and trust God for guidance and direction from the way they answer. Man, I wish God would just write in the sky sometimes. Don't you?

Answer 5

Well, I've kinda had the same thing. I feel a calling for writing, but my parents always thought I should go into law. 'You'd be so good at it. You are always arguing," they said.

I put up with it for awhile, but I finally sat down and told them that this is what I was meant to be, and that nothing else would make me happy. Try to have the same kind of talk. If they are good parents they'll understand. They may not like it, but they'll understand.

Good luck, God bless you!

Answer 6

Just have a talk with them and tell them that you feel as if your calling is to be a pastor and that you are passionate about it and will not be going into business or law. Ask them to please support your decision you've chosen for your life.

Being a pastor sounds like a fantastic way to spend your life. It's definitely NOT a waste. I hope you enjoy it!

Answer 7

If you make a decision, your parents likely know that they can not change it. So they have their own way of accepting it, You will have the same situation when you date, marry, have children, or any life decisions. Parents spend years upon years raising you, so they should have hope that you will make the right decisions. Before you set your heart to it though.... You obviously are religious, you should look into the Lord's idea of a womans responsibilities. I believe you can study and pray and the Lord will lead you to the knowledge you seek, but truely seek it. A woman was never intended to take place in authority over a man... In church or government... look into it sweetie.

Answer 8

If you were my daughter, I'd be so proud of you! You tell them that you have heard God's call to you and that you want to become a pastor. If they love you, they will support you.

Answer 9

Tell them you have a calling from God and you are accepting it.

Ultimately it is your life you are living, not your parents. I would never want my kids to do something just because I want them to. Most parents want their kids to be happy. I bet yours do too.

Answer 10

why would this be a problem? i'd think they'd be very proud of you. i would be. you don't mention your age but i'm guessing you're close to college? when you start looking at schools is a good time to mention it but really, i can't imagine them being upset about this. good luck to you.