A friend has a young baby (almost crawling) by a married man. I don't know if she knew he was married or not when she conceived, but that is irrelevant. The man remained married to his wife. He has asked to take the baby for an overnight visit. The wife has been openly hostile to my friend since finding out about her husband's affair. My friend is concerned about her baby's safety. The husband has been paying child support and health insurance. If you were in her shoes, would you let him take the baby for an overnight visit? Her concern is that the wife might injure the baby. I personally would advise her not to, but I thought I would get other opinions. I've seen the wife's hostility.
2007-07-03 13:47:21 · 10 answers · asked by TotalRecipeHound 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, at least wait until the child can talk and tell what happens.
2007-07-03 13:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is some expert advice for you coming from the wife of the person in this example. My hubby got a co-worker pregnant when our older kids were 2 and 6 and I was in the position of this woman. I was very hostile toward the 'mother' of the new child for a time. Long story short: I not once even considered the little guy to be anything other than what he is, a beautiful young child. From the moment I looked at him and could see the resemblance to my other children i knew I would love him as well. I adore him and often let him get away with murder because he isn't with us as much as our other kids, This little guy is now 8 years old and divides his time between the two houses. We have been keeping him for overnight visits since he was an infant. He goes on every vacation with us and believe it or not his mother and I often get together to discuss the kids. I have formed a friendship with her and I love that she is such a good mom to my little guy. We have never used the word step or half or any of that crap in our house. I tell everyone that I have 4 children because I do. Please try to build a relationship with this woman. It won't be easy but your daughter needs to know her father just as my son needs his. It can work if you make the effort. We all had to swallow some pride but at the end of the day, my 3rd child is more than worth it. Her hostility toward you is only natural. If you can just show her that you no longer pose a threat to her family she will come around. Does the dad have other children? How is the wife with those kids? I hope this works out for you as well as it has for us. I wouldn't change my life for anything. The emotional pain was more than worth it. Please feel free to email me if you have any further questions. Good Luck!
2007-07-03 14:48:47 · answer #2 · answered by busybusymom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not overnight. Scary story but here goes my partners aunty was with a very rich guy who she got pregnant too very soon after the baby was born he left her for another woman. The other woman could not have any kids. When the child was 2 the rich guy (father) took child for overnight visit and never returned him. When mother of child went to collect him she was told that he was keeping the son and that if she ever tried to contact him he would harm her other 2 sons. She was emotionally unstable and poor so had no money to fight him and also scared for the safety of her other children. Her son would be 16 now and has 2 brothers and a sister he has never seen.
I'm not saying that your friends situation is the same but it's a true story.
2007-07-03 14:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a pain in the butt - but if he wants to see and have overnight visitations, let him go to court and file for such - and have your friend voice her concerns over this...
I feel for the guy's wife - imagine that you not only found out that your husband was cheating - but that he also had a kid - and now he wants to bring that child, that constant reminder of his infidelity into her home...
The tough part is that he deserves the time with the child - but his wife? I'm thinking she isn't too concerned about it. I don't know if she would harm the child - but if your friend goes to court to have a visitation set up - then at least she has someplace to turn to if the overnights aren't working out.
2007-07-03 14:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hostility form the married woman is understandable. she sees your friend as a person that almost ruined her marriage. that is not a bad thing. she feels strongly about her marriage. your friend should trust her gut. if he has had visitation in the past, than everything should be ok. he has shown that he cares for the baby simply by paying support. it will be a hard night for mom, but i think it would be a good thing. this could be the opening door to a long and healthy relation ship between daughter and father.
2007-07-03 14:05:35 · answer #5 · answered by mom_of_2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she has to give the man the benefit of the doubt in his ability to keep the child safe until she sees otherwise. The best thing she can do is be cordial with the wife and establish an understanding as far as the kid.
2007-07-03 13:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by BossLady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with him seeing the baby @ her place not his.If I were in her shoes I would be very selfish,she went through a lot to have a baby only to put her in danger like this..
She should be very careful..
2007-07-03 14:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lady "D" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was her, i won't let the father taking the baby out of my sight.
2007-07-03 13:51:19 · answer #8 · answered by o_o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might would desire to pass on your city for supervised visits on the initiating until eventually she gets delicate.. would sound selfish yet dont enable him get too linked so theres no custody conflict. Wait until eventually the toddler is older. i might besides b4 u deliver her everywhere.
2016-09-29 00:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would let him and her come to my house with me there to visit. i would give them pricavy, but i wouldnt let them take the baby out of my sight
2007-07-03 15:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋