I just posted this question and it gave me actually more questions and a little more of a scenario to add to catch you up I am 18 and my mother pays my bills by her choice not mine. I only except the money because it is sent straight to my bank account or she directly pays my bills. I exchange my mother now lives with me when she is between jobs. My consequence for this is that i cannot live my own life she tells me i cant cook, she tells me what to wear, who my friends should be what i should name my baby, where i should work, what classes i should take in school the list goes on and on. She wont let me be my own person. And when I tell her she says she is my mother and it is her right. Honestly for me she doesnt understand it depresses me. I almost hate her. But i cant because i love her so much i am an only child and her mother killed herself so i know she feels like she has no one else but its to the point where my friends call and she tries to tell them what is wrong with them
2007-07-03 13:12:37 · 4 answers · asked by kindra1988 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Remember when parents said as long as you live under my roof, you'll follow my rules? Any way, you need to gently let her know it's your house and if she wants to live there she needs to butt out. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate everything she does, but remind her you are a grown up now.
2007-07-03 13:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Moose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered asking her if you and she could go to mother/daughter counseling? It sounds to me like there are deeper issues here. Like perhaps your mom vowed never to leave her daughter like her mom left her or something - so she overcompensates by being overprotective of you. I have no doubt she does these things for you because she loves you, but I don't think there is a way to resolve this problem without her getting some help dealing with the reasons as to why she feels the need to smother you and take care of your every whim. Maybe she's afraid to lose you - too. I mean - it could be a number of things. One thing is clear though - you guys have to learn how to communicate.
2007-07-03 20:20:55 · answer #2 · answered by swordarkeereon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, she feels that because she pays your bills, she can run your life. The only way out of this is if you tell her that from now on, you will pay your own bills, and that you will decide how you live your life.
2007-07-03 20:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by ♫Problem Child♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she wants to live w/ you she has to respect you.
2007-07-03 20:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by sunnygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋