how can i get my boyfriend to enjoy being w/ my kids?

Question

I have a 1 yr. oldand a 3yr. old he thinks theyre too attention getting and out of control.

Answer 1

Seriously? You want to be with a man who thinks you have spoiled out of control kids? Maybe you should tell him how you feel and if he doesn't change, he probably isn't worth it.

Answer 2

Attention getting? Yea, they're 1 and 3 years old, they not only WANT but NEED your attention. Does he encourage you to find a babysitter often? I say ditch the loser if your kids are just being normal kids. You know if they need discipline, and if they don't and he just doesn't like being with them for whatever reason, he's not mature enough to handle a relationship with you + kids. If they really do need some discipline (and I've got to ask, can a 1 year old be out of control???), then you should figure out a better way to discipline the 3 year old, cause like I just said, a one year old doesn't need discipline, she or he needs guidance and your love!!

Answer 3

At the ages of 1 & 3 yrs old, they are supposed to be "attention getting"...they're too young and almost everything they do has to involve you.
Kids will be kids and it just sounds like your boyfriend doesn't have any and not used to them. If he's not taking to your children well, then i'm sorry but you need to let him find someone who doesn't have any major responsibilities like you do. He's not going to warm up to them or change, i went through a similar situation and if the man isn't naturally "kid friendly" then he's not going to be, not even if you had his child.
There's absolutely nothing you can do sadly, you may love this man and all, but nothing compares to the love you have for those children and you need to keep their best interest at heart. Do you want a man around that is not nice to your kids or affectionate or even remotely pays any attention to them???
Hopefully you're not trying to find a "father" for these kids and that's why you want him to enjoy being with your kids....but there's a difference...my rule is, if i get serious with a man and only if i get serious is when i introduce him to my kid, and if he plans on being around awhile, he better treat my child with the upmost respect....he don't need to come in thinking he's "daddy" or even try stepping in those shoes...but he is to treat them right and pay attention to them. If he can't do that then sorry to say but he's gone for good. You have to put your childrens feelings infront of your own....they see mommy and this man hugging or whatever and laughing, but they can't do that with him....that's wrong. They should be able to enjoy his company also.

Answer 4

Has your boyfriend EVER been around kids that age? Are the kids just being normal kids--or are they used to getting their own way and not willing to share you with someone else?

Ask some of your friends who have kids to tell you honestly if they think that your kids are out of control. If they say that the kids ARE out of control, then you should try to get control of them now, before they get older and harder to change.

IF, ON THE OTHER HAND, your friends think that your kids are "just being kids", then you need let your boyfriend know that is normal behavior for their age. If he is not able to accept that, you have a problem.

If you are planning to marry this man, you need to know whether he has unreasonable ideas about acceptable behavior for your kids. That,IMHO, is a warning flag.

Answer 5

I have a 16 month old, and I am a single mother. I dated someone for 3 months, and finally he told me that he just didn't know that he ever wanted kids.... so I broke up with him. My son is wayyyyyyyyyy more important than any man will ever be. If he says that your kids are attention getting, then he has some jealousy issues, and you need to smarten up and DUMP HIM!!!! Your kids are always going to be your kids, and if someone is dating you, then they are also dating your children... My advise to you is to find you a real man.

Answer 6

it seems to me that it is time to send him packing
if a growing man don't understand that it is normal for a 1 & 3 yr old to be attention seeking then he has a problem
he is the adult he has to make the sacrifices
You can't force him to spent time with them nor enjoy being around them
if he does not want to be with them than don't make him
because if you force the issue you will only end up with a heart brake, like having your children abuse
Good luck & take care

Answer 7

There is no way you can "make" your bf enjoy being with your kids. You should just find a guy that likes you kids in the first place because there is no way he is going to warm up to them, no matter what you or they do. I don't think it is in your best interest to date a guy who thinks your kids are "bad." The kids are going to get in between your relationship with him and you guys are going to fight about them. It doesn't sound to me like he wants to be a part of their lives and it doesn't sound like he knows that they are always going to be there and there is nothing he can do about it. I would suggest you go out and find a guy that enjoys kids and date them instead. There are plenty of guys out there that love kids, believe it or not. good luck.

Answer 8

Your children are attention getting, that is what happens when you have kids, get rid of the boyfriend who can't distinguish you need to pay attemtion to your kids also or you will be raising three kids!

Answer 9

Why are you trying to make your boyfriend like YOUR kids? He's not their father so don't try to make him be their father. They're YOUR kids, get some control over them and start being a better mother instead of worrying about getting boyfriends who might make a good father.

Answer 10

If your boyfriend doesn't like your kids it is time for a new boyfriend. Since the kids are not like a dog you can just get rid of, they are apart of you. If he doesn't like the whole package then tell him to take a hike.