Hey fellow MATURE Christians? I have personal problem?? Need some advice please?

Question

I dont know what to do! I stopped having sex including masturbating about two months ago which is the longest that I have gone without any sex at all. Its too difficult!!! Is masturbation really really that bad? I can see why sex with someone else is wrong. These past few days have been tough. How do I deal with not having sex at all? Im single still and I know sex isnt the right in Gods eyes unless Im married but what if I dont get married until 5 or 10 years from now? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT THAT LONG????? How do you other Christians deal with this? Do you feel like its okay to have sex sometimes? I dont know what to think!

Hey some of you I dont need any preaching! I asked for advice not for some of you to preach!

Thanks Kelsey that was helpful! I appreciate it!

Thanks Lynn that was helpful!

Thanks pollitrixs that was a helpful article.

Yeah Cardinals Fan its a struggle everyday to do the right thing!

Answer 1

Good for you for waiting so long. I have HUGE respect for that. Keep going strong!

PS Im in the same boat.

Answer 2

I'm not Christian and nor have I had any sexual experience, but I've heard from most Christians that masturbation is perfectly fine, as is foreplay (though they are taboo subjects, the Bible doesn't seem to say anything against them). Those can possibly tide your sexual urges over until you find that person that you want to marry. If you aren't comfortable with either, then you could find some new hobby to take your mind off of things--exercise releases endorphines (makes you happy), and can really help to take the edge off. I'd suggest hiking because I'm not fond of structured exercise, myself. Other hobbies would be good as well, such as knitting, scrapbooking, etc.

Answer 3

I don't know if I qualify as mature, but I'll tell you this: I too struggled with attending for a long point in my life, and I found myself glad when I had an excuse not to go. I didn't know much about what I believed in, I just believed blindly. Some might call it stupid, I call it faith. Something in me knew that there was someone out there. A God. One that heard my prayers. I kept believing, I don't know why, but something kept me believing. I had doubts, but I could never truly at any point of my life say that I did not believe there was a God. Then I began to learn more and more about my faith, about how much God loves me, and I realised how much he's blessed me with. I made friends who shared many moments, friends who shared my faith. I learned to express it through music, and prayer and now, I don't think I could miss a Sunday without feeling awkward. The point is, you have to find what it is that keeps you believing.You love Him, and He loves you, this is true. You know it like I did, you feel it like I did, you've just lost that enthusiasm, the thirst to know more, to feel more, to be more than you could ever be if you were without Him. So go out there, and find more! Find a way to prepare yourself to go to church, maybe read the readings beforehand, or a nice silent prayer. Perhaps you can go with friends instead of family once in awhile, just for a change. Perhaps you could join the choir, or pick up an instrument or participate in some other way. Find a way to do more, and to be more. Sometimes it's hard, I know, with so much going on around you. But you have to find that moment of peace, and find it in God, take that little time out in church just to be with Him, and only Him. Forget everything else, empty your worries, your burdens on Him. Just be silent and listen. Maybe then you'll feel his presence, more than you ever did. At the end of the day, we are all human, and at times we are weak. Sometimes you just won't feel like going, even if my advice works for you. Go anyway. The ultimate sign of love is sacrifice, and sometimes it isn't easy, but it is necessary. Remember also to always always pray and trust in Him. Nothing beats prayer, and when you pray, listen. Good luck, and I'll be praying for you =)

Answer 4

Don't read this answer, I don't conform to your standards:

Don't let some moldy old book written by a bunch of uptight sheephearders and peoplehearders dictate what happens in your underpants. That is a crime of the highest degree. You only have one life, you have precious few pleasures, and even fewer RELIABLE ones. If there could POSSIBLY be a creator, he gave you the ability to feel that way, and long enough arms, as a GIFT. Rock on!

Answer 5

Ummm sparki....

Why is masturbating selfish? I mean I get how you can see that in some parts of her posts, but pleasuring yourself is selfish????

But in all honestly for the questioner. YOu need to decide for yourself what is right? YOu need to seriously consider if not having sex before marriage really jives with you and why or why not.

ummm to the dude before me, masturbating does release tension. It's one of the reasons to do it. NOt to mention it's a great release if your feeling in the mood. Heck when my hubby is away and I'm feeling uhhh turned on I do it. Doesn't make me dwell on it or any sexual act. It's a nice release.

heh you also burn calories.

deaden yourself, that's a bit unhealthy in my opinion.

What is so bloody wrong about feeling desire?

Answer 6

Chastity outside of marriage and fidelity inside of marriage. If you have desires and passions, you learn to control them and remain celibate until marriage. It is not that difficult. As for masturbation, it is wrong as well. Any time we use the procreative powers outside of the Lord's boundaries, we mock His word and incur His displeasure. We lose spirituality when we engage in wrongful sexual activity. You need to sing a favority hymn or read a favorite scriptural passage or some other wholesome activity to take your mind off of sex.

Answer 7

I know I'm going to ask an obvious question here, but I'm going to go for it anyway, okay. Why is it wrong to have sex? Seriously. And why on earth would it be wrong to masturbate? Both are healthy and normal. In fact, I would say it is unhealthy not to if you can.

Answer 8

This is a very hard thing you are doing, you should be proud of yourself. Is not easy.... I won't argue that. Masturbation is a very delicate subject, because as far as I know in the Bible does not mention directly that is a sin.

http://www.youthspecialties.com/articles/topics/sexuality/masturbation.php


I hope it helps to calm you and don't worry everthing will be fine.

Answer 9

I view sex as an act that should be viewed as sacred. Not to be confused with sinful. Sex is something that shouldn't be taken lightly, as it very often leads to emotional attachment, and, of course, procreation. I believe this is why God took a stance of "save it for marriage."

Honey, we're human. There is nothing evil about enjoying your body. In fact, in a weird way, I think it's responsible of you to be taking care of yourself instead of running out and sleeping around. Life should not center around the physical pleasures, but we shouldn't deny them either.

Answer 10

'Is it really really that bad?'

Well, according to the Bible, lusting after others is bad... so if you're doing that, you're sinning. If you aren't, you might be okay. Jesus was so 'incredible' because he was completely selfless, which I do not think is possible when one allows sex (but that's not really relevant). So, I would say that, for your typical Christian, it's okay as long as you don't lust after someone else. And yes, this is possible