I'm sure this happens all of the time. I've in love with him, and he's in love with her. He wants to be friends with me, but for some reason the word "friends" is like putting salt in a wound. He says he will give me 100% of his love as a friend, and that we are like Jerry and Elaine (Seinfeld). Yuck! I don't want to be his "bud" and I don't want to give him advice on the woman he is in love with. Obviously there's not much I can do. You can't force someone to love you. I don't like my "role" in this situation - - the jealous and scorned one. I try to pretend that I am his friend, but then he starts talking to me about this woman and how strong his feelings are for her, and I can't handle it. My two choices are force myself to be his friend or just end all ties completely. Any suggestions?
2007-07-03 07:59:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would definitely consider finding someone else to date. If that doesn't help, go out with friends, or do somethig that you like to do, just don't spend all of your time thinking about him, because I can almost guarantee he is not waisting time thinking about you if he is in love with someone else. There are times when you can hold on, and then there are times when you just have to let go. this happens to be a time that you have to let go. Good luck
2007-07-03 08:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by lwomar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have him in your life even as a friend then you should for the time being a time out and not be his friend. Right now you are not being a good friend anyway and is not good for yourself to listen to him talk about this other girl. So take a break (3-6months), meet new people, and try to forget him.
Also, time apart could be good for him as well. Any person that says 'we're like Jerry and Elaine' is sabotaging his own relationship. The idea of "Jerry & Elaine" is that you will always have in your heart that person that you'll love forever. Time apart might be good for him to realize his possible tru feelings for you.
2007-07-03 08:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by gserrado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there before and it looks like the only thing you can do is deal with it. Just be glad you guys are friends and not enemies! Maybe he'll give you a chance someday and if he doesn't, just remember that it was worth it! Things might not always go how you want them, but everything happens for a reason. Get used to it. It's gonna be hard at first, but hopefully you should adapt to what's happening. If you can't, maybe you should find someone else.
2007-07-03 08:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
End the ties COMPLETELY! If you continue to hang around him and he continues to talk about the other woman, then all it is going to do is hurt you. I know its hard to move on, but put yourself first and find someone that will love you. Keep busy, get a hobby, join a health club, read a book or better yet watch a good movie. No love stories. There are alot of single men out there. Find someone who will love only you and dump the other guy.
2007-07-03 08:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your love for him is "true love", then you would want to see him happy. Even if that doesn't include you being the one making him happy.
If it is meant to be, it will be and you may end up with him.
But my question is this, how much do you really love him if you're willing to end all ties?
I would think that if you loved someone that much, you would want them to be a part of your life. If you're willing to end a friendship over this, then my guess is you don't REALLY love him.
Maybe you love the chase right now. It's a challenge. Alot of times once we lose the challenge then the game is over.
True love is never "over".
2007-07-03 08:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think you've got it in one luv. As hard as it is (trust me, I know the feeling of having your heart ripped out, put in a blender and flushed down the toilet!) I think you need to tell him about your feelings and explain that you are finding it so hard to be his friend and you don't want to be bitter or part on bad terms. This way, if you see him about you can still say hi, but you don't have to listen to how head over heels he is for someone else. I really feel for you luv. Good luck xx
2007-07-03 08:06:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Amy, Cut all ties now ! He is a troubled guy. Not someone worth getting involved with. A guys girlfriend should be getting all his love. Friend, lover,servant !
2007-07-03 08:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got it figured out,just got to make the decision.Either one will hurt.You don't exactly have to end the friendship but you would definately need to not hang out around this person till you get over it completely
2007-07-03 08:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in a situation like that excpet im the girl he talks about. but i know he puts girls in your position becuase they've told me.
I would say try and be his friend if its not to hard because he prolly wants or needs friends, ask him not to talk about the other woman. although if he continues and you cant handle it im sorry. The only other option would be to talk to him and tell him your sorry you cant be just friends with him. all or nothing.
good luck
2007-07-03 08:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by jreeses2673 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End all ties completely. It is really the only way you will be able to get over this and move on.
2007-07-03 08:02:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋