at what point has it gone to far?

Question

obviously if you have a boyfriend he aloud to talk to other girls right? but at what point do you freak out or dump him? how much is too much for a guy to talk to this other girl?

they have never met in real life they talk on the phone ALL the time though and txt all the time too

the other girl is my cousin!

Answer 1

There's a big difference in the loyalty that would be expected in a marriage than there would in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. When it is only at the stage, both people agree the like and care for each other but have to work on taking the next step up. So at that begging boyfriend-girlfriend relationship more outside interest would be expected until after the relationship has been going on for some time and is becoming more and more serious.

If he's your boyfriend, you should be #1 on his list. But realize that he does have a list, and although you maybe Queen of the Crop in his book he's still going to always have an eye out for other possibilities. Women are guilty of the same, but in your situation it's the guy that has the open mind.

When he starts to pay more attention to other women than he does with you, that should be a sign to you that he is looking at other possibilities too much and you should just let him go. But in any boy-likes-girl relationship, you can't expect the same faithfulness that you would see in marriage or a fiance. That doesn't mean you guys should be sleeping and doing things to other people, but at such a relatively basic stage in such a relationship you can't expect complete faithfulness from anyone. Any guy you will date in the future will do the same thing until the relationship takes on a ring.

Answer 2

If it bothers you how much he talks to one person, bring it up with him. Tell him you're uncomfortable. If he refuses to see your view - double check your opinion. You don't want to be the crazy possessive girlfriend; then your relationship will end quickly. You've got to trust him some. He could be completely into you and she's just been a good friend for awhile.

On the other hand, you also don't want to be too naive.

If you look at the situation again and still think he's spending too much time with her and not enough with you, definitely tell him you've thought about it even more. Make it clear that you're unhappy and if he doesn't adjust you'll be over.

If he's spending excessive amounts of time with/talking to her, and he refuses to see your point, maybe it's time for you to look for someone who can focus on you the way you deserve!

Answer 3

Depends on the things he's saying and if he's taking to her more then he's talking to you. If it's just cool non-sexual or overly flirty stuff then it's alright. If he's "with" her more then you, on the phone, e-mail or whatever, then get someone new who wants to be with you.
Also consider was she a friend before you or is she a "new" friend. If she's an old friend talk to him and her, find out their history together, their little "in" jokes. People can be really close given enough time as friends, they can be super flirty and friendly but honestly have no interest in each other.

Answer 4

My boyfriend and I have a thing where you can look and talk but not touch unless you are giving a hug to a good friend of yours.
If he spends more time outside of a work place or school class then it's a little bit far.

Answer 5

You can see the difference between flirting and talking, facial expressions, body language. If it freaks you out and you're not normally the jealous type then there's probably some validity to your jealousy.

Yep, that's a BIG flirting indicator. Lots of one-on-one time. It's nearly impossible for two heterosexual people of the opposite sex to spend THAT much time talking to each other and NOT be feeling something for each other. He's cheating, maybe not sexualy but he's cheating.

Answer 6

You do not have the right to tell him who he can or can not TALK to. He should be free to talk - just talk - to anyone he chooses. If you feel he is spending more time talking to another woman and not giving you the time you need then you can bring this to his attention and REQUEST that he spend less time talking to her and more with you. You should find out what it is that she is saying that is more interesting to him than what you are saying. If it is a subject you are not familiar with then get educated on that subject. If you are expecting him to devote every waking minute to you then you will be disappointed forever.

Answer 7

that is something the two of you have to come to an agreement about yourselves - there is no solid line where it is easy to say "you crossed it" or not.

It depends on what you are comfortable with, and what he is willing to sacrafice, and the compromise the two of you make when all cards are put on the table.

The obvious things are when talking becomes more "flirting" and things get discussed that are inappropriate, and most women don't appreciate their boyfriends still staying friends with ex's (unless there are kids involved)

but again, it totally depends on your level of jealousy, security & esteem...

Answer 8

If he spends more time talking with her or about things he should only be talking about with you. But talk to him first, find out what the real deal is.

Answer 9

Trust him! Hes just talking, I mean he is aloud to talk to other girls! I mean sure there is a line you don't cross and only you know that line so if he crosses it then leave him....but don't jump to conclusions so fast....it just causes trouble.

Answer 10

Have you seen the way she looks at him when they are talking? As girls we know "the look", guys don't always get it.
If she is flirtatious or touchy then it's time to get annoyed. Nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.