Seperated and only been with one man, since the age of 16 I am now 52. How do I start over?

Question

My husband left seven months ago. He was the only man I ever been with. He have found someboby, but I am a bit afraid to go out. I don't know how to act anymore. There's a lot of men out there that just want one thing. This is not for me. How do I trust somebody.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about you separation. Its scary to start dating again. Just take it slow and easy. You do not have to have sex or even make out with him until your good and ready. And, if someone is pressuring you, they don't care about you. Dump em.
Just have the first date coffee or a drink, if it goes good next time go to lunch, then, slowly work your way up to longer dates if the guy is worth it. Meet the man at the place your going to, don't let him pick you up until you know him better.

Answer 2

Dove, did you ever take the time to uncover why your husband left you after all the years of marriage? Was it for a younger woman? I noticed you said he found someone. I simply can't understand if it was a good marriage why a person would leave someone that he loved for such a long time. I also married my wife when she was 16, and we have lasted 52 years so far. So I can speak from experience. We have had our challenges over the years, but we loved each other, and still do more than anything else in the world. Well enough about me. You should take your time meeting people at new locations you are un-accustomed too. You are very vulnerable right now, so take your time and be very cautious. I am warning you because not all men available are good. There are so many weird, cruel, and evil people out there it would scare you to know the statistics. Always keep yourself on your toes about dating men again. You must have friends that you gained through your marriage over the years. You are aware of what kind of people they are, so began in familiar territory. I am sure that there will be someone you can meet through your old friends. Your chances are greater than you think, because they know you, and I am sure they are aware that you and your husband are separated. Don't get into a serious relationship with anyone until your divorced. But build on your relationship, and really get to know the guy before you are committed. Take your time, be careful, and don't allow yourself to be used by anyone. You at your age are probably still attractive, and will have little difficulty finding another person to spend the rest of your days with. One more word of caution, don't try to find someone that reminds you of your husband. Your search will be in vain, but look for good qualities in a man, and love him with all the love you can muster. His trust will be your reward, as long as you both are honest with each other and live for each others happiness. I wish you good luck, and pray that God will watch over you and your future for the rest of your day.

Answer 3

Only thing to do is jump in! It's like riding a bike, you'll remember as soon as you get back out there. You may feel more comfortable if you have a friend set you up with someone. Time will tell if you can have trust for someone or not. Just try and relax and enjoy yourself! Yes, you'll feel silly the first couple times, but what can be better than feeling like you're 16 again! Best wishes, it will all work out!

Answer 4

Well, starting over isn't easy, but there are any number of places to meet men who are good people. Volunteer for events that happen in your area. get out among people that share the same interests as you, possibly talk to your friends, may be they have some single guys in their family's that you could get to know. Don't jump into anything to fast, Get to know the person first, at a mature age , people tend to get set in their ways and compromise is not so easy to do. You Trust some body by observing how he treats people , how he deals with life's problems and it's generally a gut feeling.

Answer 5

I don't know... I myself am going through the same thing only I'm 24 and have only been with one man since I was 14yrs old. He waited until we had a baby and decides he doesn't want me anymore. He said it wasn't me but it was just him. I just don't understand. You can't make someone love you, so I am just going to focus on me and my child right now and maybe someday when I least expect it, a good man will come. Until then I'm not too worried about men. There are alot of men who just want one thing but there are also lots of men that are out there just like us... who got left by thier wifes and are looking for the same thing we are. Maybe one will find you. Just be careful! Good luck!

Answer 6

Post your profile on singlesnet.com. Start sorting the men out by e-mail then go to telephone conversations. You will have a week to get comfortable with them on the phone and then arrange a meeting in a public place. I am the same age as you and I found my new love in 36 hours with this process. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Make sure you are completely divorced before dating anyone. Wait about a year before dating, get counseling(counseling will help you get back into the swing of things), better yourself in every way possible, and come out looking like a queen. You would also be a good one to discourage teenagers from getting married. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

I feel sorry that your man has left you after so many years. It's inconceivable to me that after so long he would find someone else. Nevertheless, if you are a Christian, and even if you're not, I would try by attending a Christian singles group. There, you can share your feelings and also find new friends that are looking for someone to connect with and possibly begin anew, as you are. Good luck. Keep up your Hope(s).

Answer 9

You just have to take a leap of faith. It sucks that the relationship is over after all the time but you still need to get out there. Take it slow go to coffee with someone, get a group of people together. Trust comes with time - it really hard to trust people and I know that but you just have to take a chance.

Answer 10

Here is the reality - all heterosexual men want that one thing - however, some of them are more understanding and deeper about it than others. Find yourself one who is going to be more understanding and/or deeper about how they think their relationships are going to be. I would suggest you look for men at religion events set up for singles rather than the bar scene. Your more likely to get a nice guy in the halls to heaven than the halls of well you can guess.

Good Luck!!!