How can I deal with my seven years old grandson when he's acting up?

Question

My daughter seperated with her husband 3 years ago, my son in law moved 9 hours away and see his children maybe once a month. When he doesn't get his way, like the food that he likes, he gets very angry and refuses to eat. He tells his mom that it's her fault if his dad is not with them and calls her bad name.

Answer 1

It sounds like he has a lot of anger about his father being so far away. The best thing to do is to let him know that you understand he is angry but that it is not okay to be disrespectful to his mother. He is young and it is hard for him to understand why his mother and father cannot be together. It doesn't mean that it is her fault, or his fault or even his father's fault. I think taking him to a counselor would help him find the right ways to express his feelings over his parents splitting up.

If he doesn't want to eat, then nobody should make him. He probably feels that a lot of his life is out of his control and he wants to have control over something. It is best to say something like, "That is fine if you don't want to eat. It is your body and you get to decide if you will eat the food we provide or not." He shouldn't get to choose what you serve, but he should get to choose if he eats it or not.

Answer 2

that's horrible. You can try time outs and a long lecture, but I doubt that that will get him to stop, it might even encourage him because he knows that you don't like it. Therapy would be your best bet. Don't adhere to what he wants (like the food) because if you do buy or serve only what he likes he will think that he can controll you. You need to get him to some therapy sessions pronto

Answer 3

that's not just acting up. that child needs therapy to deal with the emotions of losing his father. his school can recommend someone that won't cost a lot. it's hard for children to deal with separation and loss. he and his mother need to get some kind of counseling.