daddy dearest?

Question

my dad and i were clpse when i was growing up we did everything together. i would stand ontop of his shoes and we'd dance together. we were so close and i loved him so much. i was really a "daddys girl" but then something changed. he started getting caught up with work and other things and had less and less time for me. he had meetings on my thirteenth birthday and he chose meetings over dinner with me. last week, he had been out of town on business for all week. when he came home i ran to greet him saying "hi daddy" but he didnt even look at me. whenever im talking to my mom he always calls her away from me saying "no, come watch tv with me, she doesnt need you" i dont know what has happened to my daddy that i used to look up to and constantly want to be around. hes no longer fun to talk to and i cant tell him about my day or anything. when i try, he just walks off or pretends hes too interested in his tv show. im going to college soon and want a better relationship w/ him

woah whats up with me getting the number to the boys and girls hot line and what did you mean with "whats wrong with your family" my family is amazing i love them and they love me. we would do anything for eachother. dont think that just because my dad and i arent as close as we used to be that something is deeply wrong with my family. sometimes, i get stressed by them and posting my questions releaves the stress and its also great to hear all of your opinions and follow advice you give but by NO MEANS is there something trobuled or wrong with my family. we have always been there for eachother and we will always be there for eachother. dont act like im some "scarred for life child" im not, i just needed help with something im going through. but thank you for all your advice. it has been helpful but please for goodnesssakes dont think im some troubled kid just because my dad and i arent close. i love him and he loves me. im not troubled or scarred for life i just needed advice.

Answer 1

Flat out ask him why he doesn't love you anymore.

Answer 2

Sometimes daddys have a hard time reconciling themselves to the fact that their daughters are growing up. They deal with it by ignoring the girls.

Sometimes they grew up and were told to "buck up and be a man" in their teens. They try to treat their girls (and boys) by letting them learn on their own so they will become better adults (or so they think.)

Have you talked to your mom about it? Is there something you don't know about your dad? Does he drink?

It may just take you going off to school and ignoring him for a bit for him to miss you.

Keep in mind that he may be having issues with your "womanly body" that are difficult for him to deal with. He may not want to become too close for fear of overstepping these bounds. I found that my father had been through all kinds of sexual abuse as a child only after I was much older (he and his sisters had blocked it out) and I can look back and see how it affected our relationship.

See if you can't get him to schedule some specific time with you -- out to dinner, or something that you used to like to do together but OUTSIDE the home.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Sweety, I am very very sorry. This happens alot ! An old song hits home on this very subject,"The cat"s in the cradle" by Cat Steven"s. Some men don"t see what they"ve got until it"s gone ! Try to find a copy and then when it"s quiet and still play it over and over. I will be praying for you ! I am 47 and always wanted a little girl but I cannot.

Answer 4

It may be time for u to sit your dad down and tell him exactly how u feel, that u are going to college and u do not feel the bond that you all use to have and you will be going to college soon and do not want this to go on til the point of you all not having a relationship at all. U may be surprised he may actually take the time to listen to you, u are almost an adult and it is time that u have adult conversations with your parents.

Answer 5

Just imagine....i'm 28 years old and my (real daddy)has NEVER had anything to do with me nor my brother and sister and they are 29 & 30 !! Still to this day he still hasn't even troed getting in touch with either of us! He cares more for my cousin`s than his own kids!!!!So be glad that you had that little bit of time with your dad hon.If you want a better relationship with your dad you need to talk to him about your situation and let him know what you think.Good luck hon. :)

Answer 6

Maybe he's really busy and he might be having stress
he probaly knows that he's not having not much time with you but talk to him and say that ur feeling that you need more time with him
On a saturday, go walk with him around the neiborhood or something

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear that! My dad serves Court papers until 10:30 p.m. And he has other responsibilites 2! I guess we both just have to face. Maybe you could have a very good talk and you know tell him what u feel! Hope it helps!

Answer 8

Maybe he misses you already , ( And you haven't even gone. Or maybe he's trying to figure out how to pay collage tuition. Could be any number of things, I really don't think it's you . Or possibly he's allowing you time to grow up and except responsibility before you leave home.

Answer 9

Call with any problem, anytime:
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
Phone: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]
They have the trained professionals to help you with this.
Years ago, I was an orphan, and they changed my life. :-})

Answer 10

Tell him you miss him & that he is not the same ....that he has changed. Tell him this over & over if you have too to get his attention. Or tell your mother this. She will give him your opinion. Sometimes parents get so wrapped up with the rat race in life....they ignore their loved ones...I am sure it is not intentional....it just happens.

Answer 11

he's doing his job the only way he knows how. You aren't Daddy's grl. Mom is. You were meant for some deserving man of your own choosing not your Mama's. She did good thou, didn't she?