With the birth of my daughter this past January, my husband stayed home from work for a week after she was born. After she was born we had to stay in the hospital for 2 days, then after coming home we had visitors every day for the rest of the week! It was exhausting! I was so tired and just wanted to spend time with the baby and on top of that I was trying to learn how to nurse her, which is hard to do when you have a house full of people! Plus by the time my husband had to go back to work we didn't get to spend hardly anytime alone with our daughter because we had visitirs every day! We are hoping to have another child soon, and I was contemplating asking people to not visit for the week after the birth. In the hospital is fine, but when I come home I don't really want any guests. Is this ok to do, or is it rude?
2007-07-03 07:10:19 · 26 answers · asked by tiredbutwiredlove 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You've been through this once before so I think you are wise to set some boundaries.
Kindly tell family and friends that you would love to see them a week after the baby's birth but you'd like to use the time to get a routine going and get a bit adjusted to life with a new baby and an older sibling. If they are offended, then that is too bad. You need your rest and tending to a newborn and trying to play hostess(even with everyone's good intentions) is too difficult. You may be dealing with a little bit of depression plus exhaustion, nursing,etc. don't add a steady stream of visitors to that!
If someone offers to help you by dropping off food, or maybe to take your laundry to do then accept that, but I think if you make your wishes clear up front, people will know what to expect.
I know I was exhausted and stressed out with all the visitors after our daughter was born...many who had never been to our home before so I thought everything had to look great. Not going to happen!
2007-07-03 07:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by Patio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I personally don't think you're being rude. Having a baby is exciting to everyone involved and birthing a baby is quite exhausting. Especially with newborns sleeping patterns. Of course you want to have time for you, dad and the baby to bond and people should respect this. I mean there is a way of saying everything. Your husband could easily tell everyone that you will be resting the week following the birth, but you two will be happy to have visitors once the week is over.
2007-07-03 16:45:35 · answer #2 · answered by ndd77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking people not to visit until you feel up to it is perfectly fine and it's actually very rude for them to just come over. I understand the anxiousness of friends or relatives to see the new baby but they should respect you by letting you get to know the baby and resting up. I went through the same when I had my twins, I hated when relatives would stop by because I wanted to hold my boys and I was falling asleep all the time so every birth after that I made sure everyone knew not to stop by unannounced and if someone did my husband told them I wasn't ready for company and he'd tell them to call in a few days.
2007-07-03 07:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is perfectly fine for you to ask people not to visit you for a week, especially if you explain your reasons which are very good. You do need to spend time to bond with your new baby and it does get hard when you feel that you are having to entertain other people instead of focusing on your baby.
People might still want to help out by providing food so don't be afraid to accept that help. I would also make sure not to have anyone post anything in your front yard indicating that the baby has arrived either.
2007-07-03 07:17:28 · answer #4 · answered by Siciliene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly fine to not want a million people parading through your house when you've got a new baby. I personally don't like visitors after we have a baby either. I think it's rather rude of the guests who invite themselves over and want to stay all day with no regards to the fact that you've got a limited time to recover with help and get some rest and they are stealing it so they can see the baby, which they can see any time and any week, month, year after you've had time to recover....it's not like the baby is going to disappear in a week. They can wait and give you time to rest.
2007-07-03 07:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by Heavenly Advocate 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, people need to understand that you need your rest and time to adjust to your new lifestyle. Don't worry about being rude. Take care of yourself and your beautiful baby. When you are ready let people know. I have 3 children (one is only 6 weeks old) - I made the mistake of allowing too many visitors the 1st time. I didn't get my rest and I wasn't very polite when people came over because I was tired. The 2nd and 3rd time around - no visitors and it the transition much easier!
2007-07-03 07:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by Angela A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is not rude at all. It is your house and after all you have just given birth it is fine for you to want to be alone with your husband and child.Just tell your family that it is fine to visit in the hospital but when you come home you would like to be alone for the first week, tell them you want to try and get settled in and try and get some sort of routine. I am sure that they will understand, they probably know how stressfull it can be.
2007-07-03 07:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always get excited when it comes to a new addition to the family. We had 15-20 people at our house DAILY for almost a MONTH. Talk about exhausted! We had to put a sign on the door that said, "We appreciate the visits but we are trying to rest at the moment. Please stop by later." When the sign was down people knew they could knock. If it was up, they knew to come back at another time. It wasn't to be rude.. but we were sooo tired! No one said anything.. as far as being offended. Some people even said thanks because that way they knew when it was ok to stop by.
2007-07-03 07:28:33 · answer #8 · answered by jenadee_01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's ok, and most people will understand. I actually had to ask the nurses to stop letting any visitors in my room at the hopsital because I was SO exhausted. You and your husband definitely need that time with your baby. If someone doesn't understand, they don't deserve to come visit anyway!
2007-07-03 07:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i'ts not wrong. It's your time, you're tired and you just want to bond. It's also a lot safer for you and; your baby not to have a bunch of people coming around. Next time tell them in advance that you are welcoming everybody at the hospital , but when you get home you want to be with the baby for at least one week. Everybody who loves you will understand.
Congratulations and goodluck on the second one.
2007-07-03 07:15:24 · answer #10 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋