How can I help my husband's career in the Marines?

Question

I am doing fund raisers to raise money for the unit, helping him to eat right so that he can make his PFT scores, I do all of the volunteer work that I can think of...Is there anything else that I can do? He was nominated to go up on board next month, so we are getting his package and uniform ready, but I am not sure what else I can do...He is a SGT going to Staff SGT, been in 7 years, and we have only been married for two years...I am still new in this game. Please help with any suggestions.

For the woman who stated that I sound like a room mother at school, back off. I am a housewife, and I take care of both our babies here at home, while my husband works 12-16 hour days running the shop and taking care of the guys that work for him. He isn't in the Navy, so he doesn't get a year of shore duty where he can rockout at home playing on the computer. I do all of the cooking, cleaning, and shopping because THAT IS MY JOB as a stay at home mom. My husband is totally dedicated to the Marines, and let me know that before we married. Being in the military yourself, you should know that family life has a HUGE part in any type of military advancement, and anything that I can do to help my husband, I will.

Candy, we live in Navy housing here in San Diego, and a lot of the wives that I know have spoken of shore duty, infact, my husband's best friend just got off shore duty and is going to Iraq next week. thank you for the information on the board, it is his first time up, and there is A LOT to prepare for!

I actually do have a life outside of my family and the military, but since I was asking how I can help my husband, I didn't feel the need to point out all of my acomplishments, the fact that I just completed my masters, or that I teach classes at the local community college in the free time that I have left-over. As for all of the women that have mentioned "those wives", you may want to take a look at yourself, and ask why you don't feel that it is important to put your husband and your family first.....I have found that I am much happier being with my family than running a bank (which was the job that I left behind to have my two beautiful children). There is a reason that so many military marriages fail, and it does not all stem from the fact that the other spouse is in the military. I do all of those things to show support for my husband, not to "earn" his promotion for him. I am very aware that I cannot earn it, that he must. I believe the question I asked was how can I HELP him...

Answer 1

Semper Fi,Marine Wife !

Sounds like you have it all covered.
Get the Guide Book,pick out a different section everyday,read it and prepare questions for your Marine to refresh his mind.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

I think you are doing a great job at supporting and helping your husband. I am to a military wife, my husband has been in the Navy for 13 years and is now on shore duty as a recuiter. I just want to point out that not everyone who is on shore duty is rocking out and playing computer, my husband is very proud of his job and is still working very hard even though he is on shore duty. The one thing I think you might want to try if you are not already doing it is praying for him. Praying that when he is home that you can make the most of the time you have together, that he will work with good men, his health, the choices he makes, protection, your marriage and ask God if there is anything else he wants you to do to support your husband. Perhaps there is something that you have not thought of and he will show you.

Answer 3

As a marine I wouldn't ask for anything more, he should have the career thing down you just need to be there for him, no being a westpac widow, no dear johns while he's in Iraq, no I'll divorce you if you re-up, you're doing good, now teach the other wives and don't let his pursuit of success stress you out that should be his job if he's a career marine. You're definitely doing more than most wives of marines I know or at least you're taking more of an interest, just do it in moderation and don't burn yourself out.

Answer 4

I was a military wife for many years, my ex was a Marine and my husband just got out of the Air Force after serving 12 years. You sound like a great wife, but honestly it doesn't reallly matter what you do, it is your husband's career, his responsibility. Volunteering is great but it doesn't mean a darn thing when it comes time for his file to go before the board. The board does not know you or your husband, all they see is his file and trust me, nothing you do is in his file.

Just love him and support him. I was a stay at home mom for awhile too. I did the cleaning and the cooking, but my husband's uniform and everything else was his responsibility not mine.

Just please don't be one of those wives who lives through her husband. I have seen it so many times. Alot of women cant relate to wives who do this. For example, since we moved to Alaska, I have been in a great career and have graduated from college and am in Graduate school. Do you know how many get togethers I went to where all the women could talk about was their husbands and their careers. I am so sorry but those women need a life of their own.

Please don't get upset but it seems like you really need to have some interests that are completely outside of the military. You never know when that life is going to end. My husband was medically discharged after serving 12 years. What would you do if that happened to you? How would you readjust to civilian life? Or if something happened to you and your husband? Don't say it doesn't happen because it does. I am watching 2 friends right now have a hell of a time because he was messing around online when he was overseas for a year. Guess what she sounds just like you. She volunteers for everything, takes care of her husband and her children like no one else I have ever seen. But now she is stuck in a marriage with a man that she doesn't trust because her whole life has been him and his career.

Just some things to think about.

Answer 5

The military takes a toll on relationships. I had four wives in a thirty year career. Most women think they can handle whatever is thrown at them, but it takes a special sort to handle the deployments, the missed anniversaries, birthdays, etc. I got lucky on number five and she stuck it out for the last ten years I was in because she was in the military also.
Just be the rock that he can anchor himself to. Be self reliant and roll with the punches. Keep your eye on the goal, a nice retirement for life at an early age. I now have retired and moved into government service as a civilian. My combined income allows me to have a very special life with my very special wife.

Answer 6

Sounds like you're doing well. Thank you for supporting our marines.

The most important thing you can do is giving him your love, dedication and fidelity. The love of a good woman helps with his good mental health. Making sure he knows he can trust you means a lot less worry about the homefront when he needs his mind on the battlefront. All the other stuff, just confirms these. Keep up the good work.

Answer 7

you seem to be doing all you can.........just a small word of caution please don't end up being that wife that's ALL in the place knowing everything.........just making sure that home life is smooth and running well helps the men out a lot oh and of course NOT being a problem to the unit as well..........lol we ALL know those wives right !!!

Good luck with the board, is this his 1st time up ?? My hubby did the board 7 times [navy] and often it is luck of the draw and how many openings there is in his rate etc etc.........

One year 300 + cooks got promoted and in my hubby's rate only 5 got moved up........so look at the rating list when it does come out and see how many got moved up in his rate.

Regards

Answer 8

Pay attention, don't mess around and don't ask too many questions! I was in 60-68, went thru a few wives, so it is hard to be married to a Marine. They are a different breed! USMC 60-68

Answer 9

Sounds like your doing a lot for him. Help him with his Marine Corps Knowledge. I just went to a board and won. I probaly wouldn't have if my wife hadn't helped. She just listened while I read it out loud. Just keep giving him your love and support. Make sure you don't burn yourself out though. Don't listen to people like that woman, those types are always around to criticize. It's great that you take intrest in his career and life.
Semper Fi

Answer 10

Support him anyway you can & remember that rank often depends on being in the right place at the right time. I was Army, but suspect Marines get rate allocations based on the same thing (immediate need of a MOS.)