I have asked this question before....but maybe in the wrong way...?

Question

My dilemma:

I am 39 years old, and in a career that pays fairly well ($130,000.00/year +). It is a sales position, which means that I can earn bonuses on top of the salary mentioned above. I came from very meager beginnings, and served four years in the U.S. Air Force after High School. I attended college after that. If someone would have told me that 11 years after graduating from college I would have a job like mine, earning what I now do, I would have taken it – no question about it. Even now, I know how fortunate I am and I wouldn’t just bail out. The job is not a horrible one, just not one I care a lot about.

Money is nice, but I must admit that I would trade the job tomorrow for one that I really love doing. My problem is that I haven’t a clue about what I would “love” to do. Let’s face it; we all have hobbies that we enjoy. Heck, I like to go fishing, but wouldn’t want to do it for a living. I like to cook, but doing that for a living doesn’t sound right.

I’ve taken online aptitude tests, and so forth, but that type of analysis hasn’t yielded anything interesting. Is it just a matter of trial and error? Do I have to quit a great paying job and take a flying leap of faith that one day it will just happen? That is a scary idea!

I thought about Law School (a relative who is a successful attorney has described the typical day in the life to me….no thanks).

In what field can you feel that you are really helping people, making a positive impact, and also making a good living?

I’m all ears!!!

By the way, please don’t tell me how lucky I am to have a good job. I know that I am. This is not really about money, but more about looking back on my life 40 years from now and knowing that I actually did something worthwhile. Earning money is necessary, to be sure. For me, that can only be part of the equation. I need to have goals beyond the almighty dollar.

I hope that some of you will feel what I am saying/asking. Thanks.

I am recently divorced (although this disatisfaction with my career existed during my marriage). I ended my marriage after realizing it was not right for me or my ex-spouse. We are still friends, no kids.

Answer 1

Understand where you're coming from. It's something most of us consider as we get older and realise there's more to life than $£$£$£.

Unfortunately, realistically, the fun jobs are traditionally the lower paid ones hence people make the choice to enjoy their job and be strapped or cash or hate it but enjoy the money and privileges the few precious hours one has left after stress and overtime take their toll!!

Few enjoy both and all jobs become tedious after a while.

If you want to enjoy something it has to be something you enjoy as a hobby or if you want something more worthwhile you could always keep your job and so some voluntary work in your spare time if you have any!!! and I doubt that if you are in Sales!

I now give just 3/4 hours a week to help those kids who have difficulty with reading and English comprehension at my son's school and I can't believe how rewarding it's been and now I've learned I have an previously unknown talent for teaching and am considering going in that new direction.

By giving just a few hours of your time to help kids in charity work or school can mean so much more to those people you help and it makes you feel really good and worthwhile if that's what you're after. I love how all the kids now say I'm the best reading helper in the school and they all come up to give me hugs! Marvellous! And of course the thrill I get when I hear their reading improve.

I am also writing but of course one could be waiting for ever to get that book in print!

Good luck !

Answer 2

My suggestion is you keep your sales job and start a hobby on the side that perhaps you can potentially earn income from. IMO, most people really don't obtain that much "fullfillment" through their work. You don't say whether or not you have a family, but I think it's easier to obtain fullfillment through things other than what you do for a living. I'm an attorney, and most of the attorneys I work with b**ch and moan all day long. Even though I happen to like my job (although I feel shortchanged salary-wise) my satisfaction comes more through my children and things like hobbies and vacations.

Answer 3

I am in a similar boat my friend except without all the money and all I have to say is that it is not easy to have a real life outside of work without a little extra cash. Work is work no matter what it is. It's not fun and rarely rewarding. If you want to help people and I think that's great but be realistic. What you just descried is to be a doctor or a priest. Good luck at whatever you decide.

Answer 4

Having you ever considered for a non profit organization that does something for the community? You could work in the inner structure of one of these companies and know that what you are doing is for the good of the people. I work for a non profit organization funded by the state and even though the work sometimes is loaded and the people can be ungrateful at times when it comes down to it the fact that you helped someone achieve thier goals by taking some of the pressure of is rewarding in itself.

Answer 5

I did the same thing about 15 years ago, was 32 at the time. I did not see a future with the company I was with, also making a good salary. I sat down with a pad and pen and made lists. What are my favorite hobbies? What do I like to do in my spare time? What makes me happy? What businesses do I like to visit and do business with? I then weeded down the list to only jobs and businesses I would enjoy. Then I listed the pros and cons of each one. Again I weeded it down. Then I factored in costs. I wound up in a business which I loved, it was a combination hobby and full time business.

Example:
You like to fish, turn it into a business, not just going fishing but something more. How about a fishing shop combined with a fishing school. Hook up with one of the big names in equipment as a partner and sell their products while doing what you like. In the shop teach fishing fundamentals, fly tying, have trips, plan vacations, etc. Hook up with a local travel agency and promote fishing excursions.

You could come up with a million ideas for anything.

Answer 6

Don't quit your job just yet, but stash away money for when the time is right to make the switch. It sounds like you have enough money to save quite a bit. Save all you can, because if you switch careers and require going back to school, you'll need that cash cushion. Since you've been in sales, have you considered getting a degree in marketing?

Answer 7

It sounds like he may actually be the one cheating. usually when a partner starts accusing the other of being unfaithful for no apparent reason it means they are actually the guilty party. I would put a tail on him the days you guys are apart and watch what he does, i would also pull phone logs, etc..And yeah he's treating you pretty sh*tty and you dont deserve that. Start standing up for yourself and telling him that this is a marriage NOT a dictatorship, you have just as much right to talk about things, do stuff, and be acknowledged as he does. Dont back down, make sure he knows that if he wants out of the marriage hes going to have to be a man grow some balls and end it himself, instead of being a d*ck and trying to get you to leave. My husband tried that crap with me and when i refused to leave he finally confessed he was the one with the problem not me and pulled his head out and left on his own. He came out looking like the @ss not me.. Be a woman and stand up for yourself, stop cooking, cleaning,etc...and tell him until his attitude changes you refuse to do wifely duties..

Answer 8

why do you need to change your job to make a positive impact and help people? maybe you could keep your job & volunteer with children, the elderly, veterans. or, as a professional, you could join a not-for-profit type board to help direct, fundraise, etc a very good cause.

maybe your job isn't fulfilling, but i don't think you necessarily need to change it to get the feeling of fulfillment you're looking for.

you could even get a group together at work to volunteer together...like habitat for humanity, etc. you can be the volunteer coordinator and still keep your job.

otherwise, that life coach thing sounds GREAT.

Answer 9

Stick it outa few years, live inexpensively for now to earn enough to invest and live off the return, then explore different jobs or lifestyles to see what gets your interest. Try turning a hobby into a career.

Answer 10

First, figure out what are you passionate about. What you really enjoy doing regardless of monetary compensation. Explore other areas. Do you like helping sick people get well? do you like outdoors? do you like going to different places? do you like being with nature?animals? do you prefer routine or varied duties? You can then take classes to give you more detail on what you are considering. But also reflect on yourself in general. How do you want people to remember you? What is it in your current job that you don't like? Can it be remedied, improvised? Maybe you are just lonely? Well, hope this helps.