Who can give the best joke here?

Question

I need to laugh, I will give the one that make me laugh 10pts and for longer laugh a bar of chocolate

Answer 1

What did the 0 say to the 8??

-"Nice Belt!"


What happened to the peanut when he was walking in the park?

-He was a'salted'!!!

Answer 2

A man and a woman were happily married for many years, but one day, the man forgot it was their anniversary. So, the wife was mad. However, she said that he could make it up to her if, by the next morning, there was something in the driveway that could go from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds.

The next morning, she woke up and looked out the window, but there was no car in the driveway. There was a small wrapped package instead. She rushed out and tore the wrapping off...


Inside, there was a scale.

Answer 3

I Killed The Pig

George W. Bush and his driver were going to Air Force One and were passing a farm. A pig jumped out in the road suddenly. The driver tried to get out of the way, but he hit him. He went in the farm to explain what had happened. He came out with a beer, a cigar, and a tons of money. Bush saw this and said, "My God, what did you tell them?"

The driver replied, "I told them that I'm George W. Bush's driver and I just killed the pig."

Answer 4

I've posted this before but it still cracks me up everytime.

A guy walks in to a bar and sees a sign that says Cheese Sandwiches $5.00 Hand jobs $10.00. Waitress comes by and he asked, "excuse me madam but are you the one that gives the hand jobs?" She said, "why yes I am". He said, "well go wash those hands and fix me a cheese sandwich."

I love that one.

Answer 5

not really a joke but something that happened yesterday

me and my friend was bored at work the other night so we played a joke on our supv.

me and my friend acted like we got into this fight and we played like we were fist fighting. my supv face got so white and her chin dropped she didnt know what to do then we both started laughing our supv stayed mad the rest of the night

i thought this was funny but maybe you had to be there

Answer 6

a police officer was driving down highway 12 when he saw a car that was going very very slow. he pulled it over and saw that there were two people in it. the driver-a blonde women- and the passenger-her date. the driver was perfectly calm but the passenger was all white and had his fingernails dug into the dashboard. the police officer asked the driver why she was going only 12mph in a 45mph highway. she said that she saw a sign that said 12 on it so she went 12mph. the police officer told her that this was highway twelve and that she should be going 45mph. they were about to drive awqay when the police officer asked why the driver's date looked so scared. she replied: "i don't know,he's been like this ever since we got of of highway 200".

Answer 7

so there was a panda bear and one day he walked into a bar ordered some bamboo shot the bar tender and left the next few days he con tinued ordering bamboo shooting the bar tender and leaving so the manager stopped him one day and asked him why he did this every day for he last week the panda said have u ever looked up panda bear in the encyclopedia it says panda bear eats bamboo chutes and leaves

Answer 8

Man says to Stevie Wonder "What's it like being blind?".
Says Stevie: "Well, it's better than being Black!".

Q. What is the difference between a battery and Anne Coulter?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skin head with a gorilla ?
A. A gorilla with an extremely low IQ.

Q. Why does Barbara Bush always get on top ?
A. Because George can only ***** up.

Answer 9

hi Destiney i'am no0t giving a joke but i wnat to have sex with my bf so badly

Answer 10

Two guys , pete and repeat, were walking on a bridge, pete fell off. Who's left? Repeat.
Two guys, pete and repeat, were walking on a bridge, pete fell off. Who's left?