Just curious, Personality or Physicality?

Question

Okay..the title might not make sense, but it got you here!! Should I or "would you" date someone that had a good personality....but you weren't that attracted to them? The person is not "unattractive", but their personality isn't enough for you to want to see them everyday...okay that sounds bad but I hope you know what I am trying to say. Please don't be rude or vulgar, it is just an honest question. Thanks

** i agree also, you answered your own question\
you said you are too vain to date someone that your not attractive too, good luck on finding someone that will love you not based on your looks and will be there for you unconditionally,, **

Okay.. this guy missed the boat. I did not answer my own question..because it ISN'T all about personality. I read several awesome answers and it made me realize that it is okay if this guy is a little shorter than me,by they time I am 80 we might be the same height. j/k There is more. He is a divorcee and has a child. I feel pressure sometimes. I feel like he wants to force feed his child to me or any other woman he is to date. I love children..but why not get to know each other first. I realize his child is his top priority but, I don't want to be a mother just yet. I want to know who HE is. That is is why I asked the question.It goes deeper than the title. So to the guy that thinks I am vain, why don't you email me and get to know me better.

Answer 1

So many people think that 'looks' mean more than 'personality' ... including me up to ten and a half years ago. I met a man and we became best friends, because we were the only people where we lived who could have a 'good intellectual conversation' and neither of us was interested in 'romance.' He was 'good enough looking' but was 'short, fat, and bald' while I prefer men who are tall, thin, with a full head of dark hair. We got along fine, until I went to him needing a 'shoulder' to cry on. To me that meant talking ... to him it was literal ... and there I was, in his arms, with my head on his shoulder and NOTHING HAD EVER FELT AS GOOD. I RAN FROM THE ROOM ... but asked him to my apartment for a 'long talk.' I wanted to know if he was 'trying to edge me to the romantic' or if it was 'just him' that seemed romantic. It was just him ... but the talk went on and on (we talked for almost 12 hours) and at the end we had made an agreement to 'explore the romantic path slowly' ... only he had not heard the 'slowly.' Two weeks later, on November 11, we were 'going together' (he said he wasn't going to live with me, then never bothered to 'go home' again) and we got married on Valentine's Day the next year. We've been married for 10+ years now, and are even HAPPIER than we were when we first got married. We're best friends, partners, lovers, and playmates. We've been through the worst and the best together, and we are together forever and beyond. I used to think 'he's not that good looking' but over the years I've come to realize that how he 'looks' is part of his wonderful personality ... and when I look at other men, these days, I just think he's the BEST LOOKING and BEST PERSONALITY of all the men in the world.
So ... in answer to your question ... if his PERSONALITY isn't enough for you to want to see them every day I'd say you shouldn't 'go out' with him at all ... it's the 'friendship' that makes a marriage 'work well' and THAT is what you should be looking for ... a 'nice personality' isn't necessarily the 'right personality' for you. But BEWARE because you may not 'notice' your 'right guy' because he's the one you 'talk with' about EVERYTHING ...

Answer 2

To be honest both personality and physical traits are two factors that you must like in a person. If you don't feel any physical attraction for the person how are you going to him a passionate kiss, get me? But! personaltie matters big time. You dont want a hot looking guy with a 6 pack, and that he will turn out to be a complete jerk,right?

Answer 3

I understand what you mean and no I would not date that person. Attraction is a combination of physical and personality elements that creates a spark in you and the person in question. if you are not physically attracted to the person you can certainly go out with them as friends just make sure you draw that line right from the get-go. Otherwise don't worry about saying no, it's better to be honest.

Answer 4

if there is no physical attraction, it's not going to work out. better off keeping that one a friend. i'm not saying that someone you are passionately attracted to is going to be the best either, but there's got to be some physical attraction. ya know what, you are just going to know it when the right person comes along. and there could be more than one. I went out with my first love for 8 years i thought we were meant to be together, i loved him so much, but we just ended up going our separate ways(i got sick of him not having a JOB!) then i met my future husband. i didn't even like him at first. we were friends for months then all of a sudden, i was like, wow he's looking good. and we've been together 9 yrs, but with our share of problems of course. men can really be pains in the asses, ya've gotta learn to act like they do sometimes or they will drive you crazy!!

Answer 5

To be honest, EVERYONE initially goes on looks - because that's all you have to go on. But it's always the personality that wins you round in the end - and if you don't find them earth-shatteringly beautiful to begin with, the more you get to know them and like them, the more attractive they appear to you. Beauty, after all, is in the eye of the beholder!

Just give it a whirl - it's only dating, not marriage!! You never know, it might turn out really well!

Answer 6

i'm pretty shallow. it's about 70-80% looks for me and the rest goes to personality. nothing wrong with that. i mean physical attraction is a big part of the darwinian natural selection scheme. beautiful people mate and some of the less attractive get weeded out? lol, that sounds so bad i'm just gonna stop myself right here....

Answer 7

Go with the personality. Looks will fade over time, after you've been together for a long while, the looks don't matter as much. There still needs to be chemistry, but not everybody is going to have the body of a Greek God, male or female.

Answer 8

You can't just have one. You have to have a bit of both, a little bit of personality and some looks. What counts is how you feel arround that person. Personality is more important though. You don't want some hot body that can't hold a conversation and is worthless. Its whats inside that counts.

Answer 9

Physicality? lol, anyway at first glance it would totally be a physical attraction but as I get to know the person, personality is key. I wouldn't want to date a hot brainless guy...well, it depends how hot the guy is ;)

Answer 10

i agree also, you answered your own question\
you said you are too vain to date someone that your not attractive too, good luck on finding someone that will love you not based on your looks and will be there for you unconditionally,,