do you look down on women who choose to be homemakers instead of working outside the home.. be honest.?

Question

I am home with my one year old and my husband thinks it is in my imagination that ppl look down on me for being home and not working in my career. He encourages me to stay home with out daughter which I do love... I miss working but mostly it is due to the fact that I feel looked down upon that I want to be financially independent again... What is the right thing to do in this day and age. Is taking care of the home and child an unfair exchange of labor? Please be honest... I haven't made up my mind what is correct morally or otherwise.

Answer 1

I did - until I was put in a position where I had to take in and care for three children under the age of five for six months. It was then that I realized how very, very hard it is to care for a young child, how exhausting it is, and how the day NEVER ends. I remember crying many times the first month simply because I was worn out and my nerves were shredded.

I admire stay-at-home mothers now and believe they work much harder than most people ever will.

You stay home with your daughter. She will benefit from it, and it's the most important job you will ever have.

Answer 2

Not at all! I admire women are able to stay home and raise there children and keep house. There is no right or wrong here. No, correct morally or otherwise. Some women are financially unable to stay home others just do not have the temperament to be with a child for 24/7. I stayed home with my kids until the youngest was in school ( I have 4) and then I worked part time. I did babysit for others in my home, so I did have some income of my own and I felt I was helping out financially. Enjoy your child and don't worry what other people think!

Answer 3

There's no right answer. There's only what's right for you and your family.

Financially...are you able to stay home long term? Here is why I ask.

I stayed home with my son when he was small and worked when he got older (didn't have much choice as my husband and I split). As he got into pre & early teens, that was when I wished I could afford to stay home. Had I worked and saved some money while he was small I might have been able to spend more time with him in some very developmental years where kids need a full time parent. That was my personal experience and may not be the same for you but worth considering.

Also you may want to consider working part time when she starts school, if for no other reason than to set an expample of independance. My mom always worked part-time and when I was little I noticed that she never had to ask dad for money, that she was able to buy what she wanted when she wanted (obviously within reason). I remember being out shopping with a friend & her mom and the mom calling her husband to see if it was ok to take "the girls" out for lunch. I was only about 11 years old but I remember feeling sorry for her. Every woman should be able to take care of herself should she ever need to.

Again not knowing much about your relationship I'm not sure if either of these situations would apply but I hope it helps you make up your mind and feel better.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

There is no right or wrong answer. If you feel that it is best for you and your child to stay at home then that is what you should continue doing. If you feel that your child would be ok in the care of someone else the whole day and you would rather be at work.... then that is what you should do. I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years. I could never imagine someone raising my kids 5 days a week and me working with the majority of my check going to child care anyway! I also have friends that are working moms and I don't think they could handle being at home all day even though they love their children. It's what is best for you.... not how others feel about your life!

Answer 5

Personally, I am envious that you are financially stable enough to stay home. I think it's a privilege :-) I would have loved to be able to stay home with my children when they were little (they're now 9, 4 and 16 months). I understand what you're saying though... I think some women do feel as if they are looked down upon and there are some people who think it's not a "worthy" job... but most parents will tell you that taking care of your children can be demanding and is a job in itself. I say take advantage of it while you can and then in a few years, you'll have plenty of time to focus on your career without the guilt that many of us working parents suffer from!!

Answer 6

I do understand totally. In your mind you think you are not contributing to the family budget therefore have no say in things. At least thats how I felt. Then I started to think differently- I thought about how much day care costs are and the chance that the day care isnt good for my child - thats money saved. Added up how much it cost for me to go to work -thats money saved. This is how i solved the financial part - I started to babysit for other people-my child has fun with other kids and I make some money that is mine and I dont have to ask my husband for it. Also i got a babysitter one day aweek so I could get out of the house for some "me" time that helped too. Morally I think staying home with the child is the right thing to do at least until they are in school.

Answer 7

I think if more families had one parent who stayed home with the kids, the world would be much better off. It seems, that since both parents started working outside the home, more and more children are having emotional problems.

I'm not so naive as to believe that this is the sole problem as to why our children of today are becoming increasingly wayward, but, I do believe that it is one of the reasons.

Don't let people bother you hon ... your doing what is right for your family, and that's all that matters. It's much better that *you* raise your little one, rather than a day-care facility. You may not be working outside the home, but, you are raising the future generation ... the most important job on the face of the earth. Wishin' you and your family all the best .... :)

Answer 8

Respectfully, I think looking down on is a poor choice of words, in that we are all Soul, and Soul = Soul, so how could I look down on anyone? That being said, I recognize that you are doing the MOST important job in our society, that of parenting. Just because you aren't paid what you're worth, doesn't mean the job is not worthwhile. It is a vitally important job. You are giving your daughter an advantage that many children in our society do not have. Access to a loving parent! If your family can afford for you to not bring in $$ and if you and your husband agree that you are carrying your fair share of the load, than what does it matter what others think? This is a contract between family members and is really nobody elses concern. Hold your head up, love yourself and your family, and carry your weight in the world, whatever that may be doing. May the Blessings Be!

Answer 9

It's YOUR business and no one else's. If you guys can afford to have you stay at home and raise the child, and that's what you want to do, then there's nothing wrong with that...I do think it's a good idea to have a way to support yourself should the relationship end at some point. That's not being a fatalist, just a realist. You don't want to be left without job skills or a way to make a living for yourself if you have to...but otherwise do what works best for you, your marriage, and your family.

Answer 10

i think that there are a lot of factors involved with this!! yes, society does look down upon women in this day & age, for not "doing what you love!!!" but, it is always 2-sided with women!!! because, if you decide to pursue your career, after being a mom, then they act like you are a bad mother!!! make up their d--- minds, why don't they??! women have a very hard time these days!! as much as i believe that you should sacrifice your dreams, to nurture your children, i think that it also depends on the situation at home!! do you need the money??? maybe the child would adapt very well to another care figure in their life!!! all children are different!!! of course, you have to figure in the husband's feelings, as he should try to empathize with yours!!last, but not least, you have to try to do what makes you truly happy!!!! your marriage will suffer if you are not happy, as well as your child!!! i hope that i helped!!! wishing you the best future!!!