bit long but it made me giggle These are things that people actually said in court?

Question

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.


Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Q: Doctor, before you signed the death certificate, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you signed the certificate?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. But now that you mention it, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Answer 1

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Answer 2

You tell him you don't want a relationship and yet you ask if he's the one playing you? I think you're giving this poor guy some pretty mixed signals. One minute you're acting possessive and clingy - the next, you're telling him you don't want anything serious. You seem to have a habit of chasing him, then freaking out, then playing hard to get. Men don't respond too well to game-playing. If he was playing you, he wouldn't keep responding. He hasn't lost interest because you slept with him too soon. If he HAS lost interest it's because he doesn't know where he stands with you. Don't be so hung up on getting 'played'. Have self-confidance. And if you aren't sure about his feelings for you, then stop sleeping with him. Once or twice can be a mistake, but 3 times is a habit. I think you need to figure out exactly what it is you want from him.

Answer 3

Ha ha! How stupid can people be lol!

That reminds me of some true stories I have heard;

A man phoned the police to report that someone had broken into his appartment and stolen his drugs!

A man came home from work to the trailer he lived in with his wife, but his wife had found his porno mags and she was already waiting with his gun to confront him. The man noticed that the safety catch on and the stupid idiot not only showed her that the safety catch was on, but also he gave her a lesson on how to aim a gun! She shot him but he lived.

A person phoned the Police because he couldn't open a tin of Beans!

Answer 4

These are fabulous !
Thanx for the morning laugh !
I still have tears in my eyes from laughing !

Answer 5

haha! i like the oral one..and the one after it.......very funny..

Answer 6

V.funny lol x suppose !! xx :*)

Answer 7

funny * for u

Answer 8

Thanks, Jonsey! It's always good to have a giggle.

(Makes you wonder about lawyers' intelligence...)

Answer 9

haha.....those are funny..... :)

Answer 10

These are great! Thanks for sharing! :-)