A few months ago they decided they were going to move in our guest house. They lived over an hours drive away. I was perfectly comtent with "missing " them. After they moved here they made my life miserable. All my peace and quiet was gone and they kept bossing my kids. The kids started not being sure who to listen to. My father in law always thought as himself as the "boss" My mother in law favored one child over another, which caused the other one hurt feelings. Finally after 2 months I had enough. I went off the deep end and told them. My husband was completely on my side, and told them they were going to have to move.He evicted his parents! I did feel really bad over it, but not bad enough to ask them to stay. The other day was moving day. As soon as the moving truck pulled out I felt a sense of relief. I ran over to the guest house and started rolling around on the carpet giggling.No one was supposed to see me. but my mother in law forgot her purse. I was so busted.
2007-07-03 03:39:03 · 11 answers · asked by janeyr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You made a crucial mistake. You let them get on a roll instead of nipping it in the bud immediately. You should have put your foot down day one. Because you didn't, you allowed your emotions to build up and eventually explode. This is not a good way to handle problems. I don't think your point is wrong, however it could have been handled better. Therefore, you need to calmly approach the inlaws and tell them what is going on.
2007-07-03 03:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Smooth move.
Ok, you made a mistake. It happens. You should write them a formal letter of apology for the giggling episode. Feel free to point out the problems that lead to this as part of your explanation, but try to construct it in a way that is not just a blame game. You were being insensitive, and you are sorry. Have your husband read it, and if he likes it, send it to them. Aside of that, it is ultimately your husband's job to keep the peace with them. He did the right thing by standing on your side. If the letter makes them happy, then fine. If not, then just be the best wife and daughter-in-law that you can, put this behind you, and then it is up to them. You cannot change them, so no sense in trying. Just don't give them easy cannon fodder!
Good luck!
2007-07-03 10:46:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you AND your husband need to deal with this together, then let it go. Both of you need to speak to his parents directly. Acknowledge that you understand they may have hurt feelings. Explain calmly that it was your home, your family, your rules and decisions. Just because they are parents and now grandparents, doesn't mean what they say goes in your home. Explain calmly why you felt stressed, that rolling around on the carpet was a stress reliever, apologize for any hard feelings, and tell them you hope they understand. If they don't, they don't. A long as you two take responsibility for your own actions and your own decisions, how they deal with it is up to them. Express your love for them. Good luck!
2007-07-03 10:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, that was pretty juvenile, and you got caught!
Let the dust settle a bit, and send them a letter saying that you really DO love them, but it was such a strain on your family, and the kids, that you had a moment of sheer relief when they did leave, you over-reacted, and you were wrong..let her know how she made you and the children feel, leave an open invite to lunch..somewhere away from your home
2007-07-03 10:45:04 · answer #4 · answered by kat k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This goes right back to the old story,no house is big enough for two familys.It is your house and your inlaws should respect you and your husband.It is hard enough to raise a family without any disruptions from other sources.Stand your ground,hope the inlaws see what was going on and miss their grandchildren and come around,Families are falling apart fast enough without any extra help.
2007-07-03 10:55:46 · answer #5 · answered by ronald m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in laws could be the worst. Help them to understand that you still want them to visit once in a while, but you are the parents and you are in charge of how the house is run.
2007-07-03 10:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by vinny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you cant fix the way people are. Forget about it and enjoy your new life. I think you will need to focus on your children seriously now to try to undo the harm those in laws did to them
2007-07-03 10:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe your in-laws any thing. You married their son, not them. I would never move in on my kids & their spouse. They had no right coming into your home & taking over.
2007-07-03 11:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by foreverhoyt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she'll get over it. the main thing is you're free. she new you were unhappy with the living arrangements anyway. rolling around just sealed the deal. it will probably all blow over in it's own time. for now, enjoy.
2007-07-03 11:40:55 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about trying to fix it, If anything they should be trying to fix there relationship with you.
2007-07-03 10:46:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋