i found out on sunday the girl i really like has a child i felt that i loved her and was to be honnest shattered when i found out she already had ties which meens. not comming out for long dates ebcause she cant leave her child with parents long (she is 19) im 18.
she didnt say no to me when i asked her out she jsut said she cant because she has a baby to lookafter i understand but why does life have to be such a ***** in these circumstances we agreed to jsut be freidns and we moved on but i still really like her and cant get ehr out my head i feel like my hearts broken
2007-07-03 03:37:11 · 15 answers · asked by GG 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
for those who ahve already posted read this alot of you are women and say im immature to do this. but think about it from my prospective i try to get with someone i really like and find out she has ties if i stay with ehr im tied down for the rest of my life at a young age i want to see the world get a good carreer finish college that would be hard if i was tied down and went with her
2007-07-03 04:02:36 · update #1
if you think im immature then fine you think that but your not in my situation were your torn on what to do very few people on this question have actually seen my point of view i need advice because yer im still a kid.
2007-07-03 04:05:43 · update #2
Life is complicated enough without adding to it, especially given the fact that you're both children in the grand scheme of things.
What your feelings are telling you is to listen to your instincts and let common sense prevail. Sometimes it is right to stick it out and sometimes you're better off cutting your losses, no matter how painful it might be to do so.
The situation you're describing requires outsiders like us to know you and the history with this person, which clearly we cannot do. I nor anyone else can tell you the best course of action. Only you can do that for yourself.
Unfortunately, some women in this form are making this issue about them and a "woman's point of view" and are not seeing the situation objectively for what it is.
This is not about being a man or a woman, this is about you and the rest of your life and whichever direction you go wtih this girl is going to affect the outcome of your life, so choose wisely. You're a kid and you're supposed to think about your future and what you want, that's not selfish, that's just good common sense, regardless of what some stupid people here think.
Ask yourself if you love or lust after this girl, if your love is big and strong enough to take on a kid when you're a kid yourself and unless you absolutely see yourself marrying her with no hesitations whatsoever, love her and yourself enough to let her go, or just be friends. You owe it to yourself, to her and to your future to think with the bigger picture in mind.
Good luck.
2007-07-03 03:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by Patriotic Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i met my lady for the first time i fell head over heels for her then she told me she had a child i was put back a bit it was a tie i did not need but i could not stop seeing her i told her i was a bit confused and she told me that i knew where the door was she was not feeling low because she had a child i felt stupid i had just lost the girl of my dreams cos of my big head we talked and i realised that i was not falling in love with one person i could love two I'm now married and in the process of adopting my daughter love is not complicated life has hills that you need to climb and it feels so rewarding
2007-07-03 10:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love makes life so confusing but without love would you want to live?if u really like her invite her on a date she can bring her child 2 like go 2 the park 4 a picnic!!
2007-07-03 10:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by daphne r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can you possibly understand and then ask why is life so complicated? You ought to be in her shoes and then your life would be complicated. If you really like her, you should admire her for having the baby and trying to raise it rather then condoning the relationship because the baby is an obstacle. You need to grow up.
2007-07-03 10:43:37 · answer #4 · answered by Lost in Maryland 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Then get back with her. She cannot change the fact that she has a child, and she probably would never want to. You need to accept that, if you really have strong feelings for her.
2007-07-03 10:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by princess m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you are too selfish to share her with the child? To include the child? To get to know the child?
Yeah you did the right thing, she's an adult and you're still a spoiled little child yourself. She didn't need 2 kids to take care of.
2007-07-03 10:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you loved her you wouldn't care that she had a baby. You would get to know the child too. Nothing would be more attractive to her than for you to love her and her baby.
2007-07-03 10:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's too old for u but don't worry u'll find somene who will love u da way u loved her.
2007-07-03 10:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by virdie e 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing easy is worth doing. Think about it.
2007-07-03 10:39:48 · answer #9 · answered by TheEconomist 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why wont you just help her out with the child and then you two would be spending time with eachother..... and maybe you can get a relationship going
2007-07-03 10:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by npchick12 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋