Atheists,how do you handle talking to your children about death and suffering?

Answer 1

I just went over this with my kids. I simply told them the truth. They will go back to not being when they die just as they were before they were born. If they ask questions, I am not going to tell them a lie. They ask, I answer. But I always encourage them to explore all available information and make up their own minds.

As far as suffering goes, they've seen it. There's not much explaining that can go along with that.

Answer 2

Nature says it all... if you raise a child close to nature and the natural world they will in fact not only learn about death and suffering but they will have a more positive understanding of the subject. Everything has to die sooner or later so that others may live... its not a hard thing to learn really. What is hard to learn is not to fall prey to useless compassion.. like for example people who think predators are evil because they kill and eat other animals. That is useless compassion.. you can't feel sorry for the deer because wolves eat them, its the way of life. Raising a child close to the natural world and all the animals in the wilderness is an excellent way to teach a child about death and suffering.. it happens every day and it is necessary. Harder to teach a child is why humans cause death and suffering without reason...

Answer 3

My daughter made her mind up a long time ago that there is no god. As for suffering, it is a natural part of the human condition. To make excuses and throw imaginary creatures into the mix, is really quite ridiculous. I do not see what gods existence or non existence has to do with it. In particular since it is usually the poor and the religious who suffer the most. Mainly due to their beliefs.

She sees quite clearly, as do I, that there would a lot less suffering if there were a lot less religion.

Answer 4

This is what I told them:

Son do you remember what it was like before you were born? Well that is how it will probably be after you are dead. Oh, and you will die but if you take care of yourself it is likely that you will live for a very long time.

He seemed to accept that with some comfort.

Here is what my parents told me:

Son, there is this God that you must worship all your life. He is watching you and can even read your thoughts. If he thinks that you are a dirty boy or even think about being bad he will punish you eternally. Do you know what eternally means? It means forever. You will be cast into a huge furnace that never stops and be tortured by monsters.

I was left with that and my nightmares for years.

Which was better?

Answer 5

By telling them the truth, not some made up fairy tale. Children can handle it a lot better than most adults. When asked what it was like to have died, a young cancer patient said, "It was the same feeling as before I was born. Nothing."

Answer 6

I'm Pagan but I just tell my daughter that death is a part of life. Suffering is reality. That if they don't like the suffering of the world then do something about it.

Answer 7

Personally, I'd feel as though I was lying to both myself and my child if I were to tell them "When you die, you go to heaven." In my personal belief, it's a security blanket used so that people don't have to fear death, to make it sound "prettier" and more peaceful in a sense. Would you rather be told "You're going to go to heaven, where you'll never feel pain and you'll see all Mommy and Daddy, when you die," or "One day when you're old like Grandma and Grandpa, things are going to be hard for your body. Sometimes it's going to hurt when you walk, sometimes you're going to be really sick. Then one day you're going to fall asleep and you're not going to wake up."

When they ask why, you tell them the science of it. "Well, your brain, what you use to think and feel, turns off. Like when you press the remote and the television goes off. You just don't get turned back on, and that's that."

Answer 8

I play The Lion King for them, then talk about the Circle of Life. It's the same as talking to kids about heaven and God. Both are fictional stories used to explain the unknown.

Answer 9

I told them the truth. People suffer and die. It is a part of life. Kids don't need protection for the truth. They need to learn how to deal with it. For the record, they are both happy, responsible, and talented adults. I have amazing kids.

Should I make up stories about how people go to a "better place?"

Answer 10

death and suffering are just part of life, these things happen all the time to everyone.