How can I make this work???

Question

I really love my boyfriend, we have been together for 1 year now. I want us to stay together. When we first started dating, I knew that he would go to the bar sometimes, and go out with friends. It was ok. But now he works 7am - 3:30pm and he goes to the bar almost everyday when he gets off work. Also sometimes he has been staying out till 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, (Even when he has to work that morning.) He says that it shouldn't be a problem because I am still at work until 5:00. Sometimes he still doesn't get home till about 6:00 or later. His little boy doesn't understand why his dad isn't at home, and I also just don't get it anymore. He pretty much has a family at home, and he doesn't act like it. I am not 21 years old yet (Only 19 years old), but seeing this all the time doesn't really make me want to drink. I feel like I am the one person that can change his ways, but HOW??? How can I talk to him about this problem? How can I make him understand this isn't right?

Sorry, to confuse everyone. It is his son. I am 19 years old, his son is 7 years old. He is 24 years old. I don't have any children, but I feel like a fulltime mom, with a child that is not mine. Plus I still work 40 hours a week.

Answer 1

You cannot change him, he has to want to change. Forcing him, threatening him, nagging him, begging him will only make it worse.

This is why you should not have had a kid with a man you weren't married to, didn't really know well, and weren't sure that you had the same goals out of life.

This guy is a guy....he'll probably settle down between 27-30, or he may never settle down.

You have to decide if you can keep your mouth shut and live with it for that long, or move out and get your own place so you don't feel you have to sit around and wait for him to come home.

Answer 2

you need an intervention. Sometimes you can't make a relationship work. oh girl you are in a bad situation. I really hope that you have the support of your parents because there is a really big chance that you and your man are gonna have to call it quits. You two have a child together and he is out at the bar with his friends?? everyday of the week just about?? oh if he was my man I would have had my foot up his A**. your boyfriend has no sense of responsibility, besides going to work, he needs to be there for you and your child. If you can move back home with your parents. Take the child away from him. Let your boyfriend miss you. He is taking your for granted. Leave him. I grantee his will come chasing after you. Good luck honey, I'm on your side.

Answer 3

Only he can change his was, the too of you need to sit down and talk. That is not acceptable behavior he needs too realize that he is a farther and he has responsibility's that must be meet . He needs to sit an example for his son tell him it's not that he goes too the bar but he goes to much and spend all his time there, hope all work's out.