English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

Forgiveness is not an easy process, and if one says I forgive before he or she has worked through emotions to be able to let go of the events, freedom from thoughts about what was done is not obtained. So it is not real forgiveness.

But real forgiveness can free you from having to think about the person or people who caused the pain, even if they have been unrepentant and got away with what they did.

I would like to know what techniques others use to work through this. And in doing so, how do you avoid just numbing yourself emotionally? And how do you avoid using forgiveness as an excuse for not doing what you morally need to do, such as speaking out against the sort of abuse that was done, helping other victims,etc?

2007-07-03 02:49:52 · 6 answers · asked by Pascha 7 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

6 answers

you are so right forgivness is not an easy process however it is a neccesary one if you wish to move on.
First u need to accept that what happened has happened and cant be changed, you wont be able to forgive if u dont.
Then u need to be completely honest with yourself and talk yourself through what felt ( i know it sounds wierd) but questions like what upset me most, why did i react like this, am i more upset because i didnt do this help u sort out ur emotions but u have to be totally honest with yourself.
Often the best next step is to do something active about it, such as helping other victims and making ur voice heard and it helps u emotionally.
Then u have to think through what they need you to forgive them for, the acts the reactions the unrepentence the pain, then think about anything positive that came out of the experience, often their isnt any thing.
Their is one major question u need to answer before u can forgive them, why was it so hard for me to try and forgive them, and again be totally honest it is ok for the answer to be "beacuse they caused me so much pain, why should they get away with it?" because then u can deal with it face on and say well this did happen but me not letting go isnt helping and they wont get away with it, justice will be served
The final step is to simply say (to help u) i am going to forgive..... even though they did this to me and it caused me alot of pain because it is the right thing to do and i will be emotionally healthy and free from their grips once and for all. I have forgiven them for doing ............ and i have done something positve to help and have taken a stand against it.


OK im sorry if thats a bit long but i hope it helps and u can find it within u to forgive that horrible person and u will be free from there destructive grips and u will never have to think about them again.

2007-07-03 03:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I start with forgiving myself
I forgive myself for allowing people to hurt me ...
although some situations we cannot avoid and is not our fault , we should make sure that we dont carry that hurt and allow it to affect our future and the future of those we love
then i try to understand the person and why they have done what they did
but this doesn't mean you cant help others or make a stand against things happening again
but it helps put you in a better position to see both sides

2007-07-03 02:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Personally, I do metta (loving compassion) meditation towards people I find myself disliking. I do this whether they are not able or still able to hurt people. Bush still has the capacity to hurt millions, especially when Cheney orders him to bomb Iran. It is important to try and not let them destroy my love and compassion for all. Though it is a daily fight to have that not happen. Meditation is one of the best ways to work on keeping a loving and compassionate attitude towards all.

Real forgiveness is when you love the person as much as you love anyone else. Just not having to think about someone is not forgiveness. Loving them is real forgiveness. Very high standard to live up to though.

2007-07-03 02:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jim San Antonio 4 · 0 1

I don't believe in free will. I accept that people are the products of their genetics and environment. When you realize that choice is an illusion your mind becomes freed from the necessity to maintain grudges.

2007-07-03 02:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

I first ask God to forgive me.
He forgives me, therefore I forgive others.

2007-07-03 03:03:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Going to visit their grave and dancing a little jig on it helps me to forgive.

2007-07-03 03:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1 1

fedest.com, questions and answers