I was visiting my daughter and my 4 year old grandson. My daughter gave my grandson a snack and I reached over, took it away from him and took a bite out of it. I didn't give it back to him and told my daughter this food is good. My grandson looked like he was ready to cry and my daughter came all unglued. She snatched the food from me and told me do not ever take food from her kid again and she was so angry that there for a minute I thought she was going to hit me. I told her I was just joking around and she told me she's not joking, get the hell out of her house. I left and she won't see or talk to me now. Why must things be like this with her????
2007-07-03 01:29:13 · 22 answers · asked by jim 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are very childish and I don't blame her one bit. Did you treat her like this when she was growing up? If so no wonder she went off on you. It is time for you to reevaluate your behaviors and grow up!
2007-07-03 01:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by The OTHER Boelyn Chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's more to this than you taking food away from her child. There are other issues that have built up and this is only the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Joking or not, you were wrong to take food away from a 4 year old child. As you said, your grandson looked like he was ready to cry. He didn't know you were joking and he wanted the food.
You owe your daughter an apology. You may also want to probe a little deeper to see what else she's upset about. If this is your usual style of humor she may have a lifetime of "little jokes" that have rubbed her the wrong way that she never acknowledged to you before. One person's joke isn't always funny to someone else.
If you really think about it I suspect you'll be able to remember other times when she didn't laugh at your jokes. Think about how you relate to her and try talking to her without any joking around. Give her an opportunity to tell you what she was upset about. Listen without interrupting and then try to patch things up. If she won't talk to you write her a letter with a sincere apology and a desire to fix things with her. By the time she gets the letter she may have calmed down enough to be able to tell you exactly what that was about. This is a good opportunity for you to review your communication style. There may be other people who also don't appreciate your "little jokes".
2007-07-03 09:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obviously your daughter doesn't kid around when it comes to her child, and thats a good thing. But you need to teach her the difference between being a protective loving parent, and being a overprotective maniac that spoils her child. Although I agree with her it was wrong to take your grandsons food, even as a joke, she should still forgive and forget. To make your daughter come to terms with you, buy her and her son a little present. Maybe the type of food you took from your grandson or a balloon that says sorry on it. I hope everything works out ok!
2007-07-03 08:38:04 · answer #3 · answered by sirkygirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your seriously dramatic daughter saw that as teasing even though you were doing the bonding thing and admit it now - you were teasing him and felt that was an ok way to connect. Perhaps playing catch, taking a walk, going to the zoo, picking blueberries, a wagon ride, etc would be a better choice when bonding with a grandchild.
Two issues with your daughter:
Possible jealousy
Over-protection which isn't love it's a very high level of negative control given the fact that a four-year-old can talk. A four-year-old that is allowed to talk would have said "Grandpaaaaa cut it out" and you would've done ______. Instead he whaled and his mother jumped which will do him no good in a life that is not exempt from bullies - his mother is creating a bent picture of the world to him. Now two adults are mad at each other. So, teased = mommy freaks out over me = people fighting over me me me me. Do not think that your grandchild isn't making decisions and choosing behavior right now in the midst of all this?
I suggest a heart-to-heart based on truthfulness with your daughter that includes what you could have done better and what she could have done better to both be a good role model to Jr.
2007-07-03 09:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably you had done that to her a number of times when she was young....Sounds like your joking was/is very hurtful and she doesn't want her son to go through what she did. ?? If you really want back in your daughter's good graces and to see you grandson, try checking with others who know you re the quality of your jokes.
2007-07-03 08:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by Martell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You took food from a 4 year old, who doesn't understand that you are joking. If you upset him, you upset your daughter. She could have handled it differently, but she didn't. Give you time to cool off, apologize to her and tell her that you didn't mean to upset your Grandson or her.
2007-07-03 08:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by Lee B 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong. Apoligize and move on. You need to live your own life... stop trying to live through hers and your grandson. Be polite. Think about how she will react to a given situation before you act on the thoughts at hand. Best of luck.
2007-07-03 09:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by FuriousRain007 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think something like this must have happened when she was younger. And she has decided it was not going to happen to her little one. That is why she reacted this way. I think time will heal this . If I were you, I would apologize to your daughter and tell her you will not do it again. And then just drop the subject. Even though you thought it was a joke.
2007-07-03 08:36:38 · answer #8 · answered by lrb91954 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think whatever is going on with your daughter has a lot more to it than you taking a snack away from your grandson.
Sounds to me like she tolerates your presence because she feels her son needs to know his grandfather, but if you don't want to act right as a guest in her home, she has a right to kick you out.
If you are looking for support here in Yahoo, all I can say is your daughter has known you her whole life, we don't know you at all.
So I have to go with her decision and trust that she knows what she is doing.
2007-07-03 08:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by Mr R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never take food from my grandson. I have 3 of them. I would get mad at my mother for doing that to my child.
2007-07-03 12:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by foreverhoyt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well bonehead, you didnt give the food back so how was it a joke. She had to snatch the food from you and you made the ankle biter cry. Give it time and dont play jokes on the little one, who may now not want to see you
2007-07-03 08:34:21 · answer #11 · answered by dave n 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋