my boyfriend shared with me a few months ago that he's had sex before-- in college, with some girl who i know little or nothing about. he never brings it up, gut it still eats at me from time to time even though i know with my whole heart that sex isnt what he's seeking with me-- or he'd be gone by now since he know's i'm saving myself until marriage. Would it bother you in the slightest if you'd made a promise like mine-- only to find out that your potential soul mate had already given it away?
2007-07-03 01:05:00 · 23 answers · asked by jay 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i tell you what...it did bother me as well. still does and were married now. in my case it bothers me because i am so in love with my husband i hate the thought of another woman have...been there ya know. i wanted to be the one and only. there is nothing you can do but you are right you are still together so he probably doesnt just want that. your best bet is to just sit down and tell him your feelings and get his point of view so you feel better about it. i did and its worth the talk! good luck!
2007-07-03 01:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by April 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I can understand where you are coming from.
People don't put enough emphasis on sex or staying pure. The thought of either me or my wife being with someone else would be very hard to deal with either of us. We both had never been with anyone else.
Your boyfriend does not seem like a player. That is good. As long as he doesn't give you a STD if yall are married. Maybe you should try to forgive and look over it.
Young men are like raging bull when it comes to sex. I was married at an early age. But if I hadn't been It would have been hard not to be with another woman.
I have known couples who have had one person cheat on them and they still stay together. To me this would be a harder thing to deal with because they have promised themselves to each other. Sex is a gift of God for a husband and wife. Anything outside of that is defiled.
Jesus will forgive him. Maybe you can try to put this behind you. The older you get the harder it will be to find someone who is still a virgin. Much less someone who had never married.
I know that if anything happened to my wife the next woman more than likely will have been with someone else. At my age if she hasn't she may have some other relationship issues.
2007-07-03 05:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing more honorable than being a virgin until you are married. It is best if both parties are. How much do you really love him? How many times has he 'played around'? Was it just a moment of lust gone out of control? Does he want to save himself now for you until you are married?
These idiots that say it is best to try them out or they prefer people with experience are totally missing the point.
If neither of you have had sex before, then it will be the BEST you ever had. Latched on to each other...forever.
This is the way it SHOULD be. Unfortunately most of the time in today's world, it is not. This is why we have divorce and abortion on demand, runaway STDs, and millions of broken lives.
When will we learn?
You should really pray about it, and have some deep talking with him. Your chances of finding someone with your ideals in today's world is getting slimmer by the minute.
2007-07-03 01:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by fortheimperium2003 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can understand why it bothers you, but how old are you? Assuming you are college age or older, you are going to have a VERY hard time finding another virgin to marry. Most people have had sex by the time they are 21, 85% to be exact. And I would wager that of the remaining 15% the majority would be other women. If you love him, get over it.
2007-07-03 01:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by RunWithMe 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
My dear
your decision aught to be respected - and it seems that from what you say your boyfriend respects the decision you made. You too aught to respect his honesty with you and you should not look down on him because of what he did in the past - as long as he remains faithful to you now and in the future. If you love each other you cannot expect a better start than honesty in a relationship - that is how you will become soul mates.
Peace
2007-07-03 01:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by ziffa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are putting way too much importance on the past. He's had some experience, does that mean he has no value now? Of course not. He's human, get over the past and look towards the future.
Sex is less a big deal than you think it is.
2007-07-03 01:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by hypno_toad1 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If God forgives, who are you to with hold forgiveness, especially since this happened before the two of you fell in love? Do you have a right to judge him? Have you ever done something wrong? What if it was held against you for the rest of your life?
If this is your attitude, you might as well let him go because your marriage will be doomed to failure by your rigid and uncompassionate mindset. Please go back and read your Bible. See what Jesus said to people caught in adultery and adjust your attitude.
2007-07-03 01:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by Linda R 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You talk like he is somehow Broken. Since that is apparently such an important thing for you, I suspect that it will be something you will always "hold over" him. Do the guuy a favor and drop him and go seek another virgin, and pray that one of you will somehow figure out how to start a joyous sex life for you both.
2007-07-03 01:12:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
It would bother me, but what you have to realize is that in this day and age, finding someone who is still a virgin at college age is rare. And if you love him, you can overcome this together. The sex was before he met you, and at least he admitted it to you. He is not lying. Accept it. Pray that you will be released from your anger and your hurt and love him and go on with your lives.
2007-07-03 01:10:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It wouldn't bother me.
I deliberately selected men with sexual experience because I wanted to have fun and didn't want to deal with the hassle of virgins. At the same time, I did not have a goal of meeting someone and getting married.
2007-07-03 01:36:16 · answer #10 · answered by ☎ Rotary Dial ☎ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋