Pregnancy Predicamant?

Question

I would just like other people's opinions on my situation here and what they would do if they was in my shoes, please only serious answers.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and i'm only 21. I have decided to keep this baby as I do not believe in abortions - I hate the idea. I do part time work and I'm in University.

When I look at my life, I'm quite dissapointed, not to say I don't love my son who is 3 - I wouldn't change it if I could go back. What I am upset about is that his father was very abusive towards me so we split shortly after my son was born.

I've met someone else and we've been together for 2 years but I'm upset that my children have different fathers and I'm still young. Many of my friends who have 2 or more children at my age have their children with the same father.

As I'm quite young and know that I'm still going to go through a lot of changes, the same with my boyfriend, i'm worried we'll split later on in life and then no-one will want me.

Answer 1

You need to start looking at the good points in your life, such as your son, and stop being negative. You did the right thing by getting out of your relationship with your first child's father, now you need to move on.

You also cannot go through life thinking 'what if things don't work out?', if you do then you'll do nothing. Make the most of this new relationship and try to make it work. Above all, talk to your boyfriend about your pregnancy and your future together. A new baby may make your bond stronger.

Even if you did split up in the future, if you are a good person then someone will want you and many men will be happy to take on your children. Don't assume you face a future of loneliness and misery.

You may have regrets about some things you've done, but that's better than regretting things that you haven't done.

Good luck.

Answer 2

My advice is to stick to the University until you graduate. For your worries, and your feelings toward your 3 year old, the university should have free counseling for students. This is an important time in your son's life and he needs his mother. Don't worry what others will think of you. Just make yourself into a respectable professional of the field you have chosen, and you will create the best life for you.

It sounds like having 2 precious children so young is worrying you needlessly. Remember, at your age, you have lots of energy so you can be the best mother to them right now. Also, consider have a ring tubal ligation after your second one is born. It will give you confidence for your studies and your career. Again, don't worry, you will be fine. Be confident in that.

Answer 3

I am also 21 and I have a 2 1/2 year old girl and i am trying to conceive right now. I am married but girl. life is hard. I have known people that have had 3-4 kids and still find a loving man. Don't beat yourself up over it. It'll be okay. If you need to contact me, I allow e-mails. If you ever need to talk.

Answer 4

hi i should not beat yourself up about it i have two sons different dads as first was the same very violent so i left bringing upmy first son on my own hard but we were better off that way anyway now married to second sons dad abd very happy i was confused about having two differnt fathers to my children wondering if he would treat my children the same and he does and hopefully ? having our third so really it does not matter to much the only thing to remember is to let your first boy know the truth about his background as he is growing up my asks questions and i tell him then he just goes off as if he never had a care in the world. good luck and im sure it will be all good have faith

Answer 5

Well compared to my situation where I got my sister pregnant accidently you situation seems simple. Your children have two fathers. You can't change that so look to the future and hopefully things will work out! There is always someone for everyone.

Answer 6

Seriously, think about giving your 2nd child up for adoption. It is a loving and selfless thing to do for him/her. You are quite young, and a single mother struggles as it is, and with each extra child its going to be harder and harder. (And as you know, the more children you have, the harder it can be to find a life mate.....alot of men consider your wonderful babies "baggage") I congratulate you for going to school, and encourage you to finish your school, and to make a life for yourself and your child. In the future, do what you can to prevent another unwanted pregnancy. Good luck!