What is the most creative way to get rid of a Mormon missionary?

Question

I answered the door naked.

Answer 1

Usually, whenever someone shows up to ask me if I know Jesus, I respond "why yes I do. He lives two doors down and is a very friendly guy. His mother Maria makes the most wonderful tortillas, and I'm sure she'd share if you asked politely. Why don't you go down there and get to know him yourself?"

However, the most creative way I've ever heard probably has to come from a Wiccan friend of mine. Being Wiccan, she's a favorite target for religious missionaries showing up and trying to convert her.

Well, one morning, she was in the kitchen, in her bathrobe, cutting up some meat so she could put it on to simmer in the crockpot for a stew that evening, when sure enough... the missionaries showed up.

At that moment, she had decided she'd had enough, so she took off her bathrobe, smeared the blood from the meat all over her, and answered the door with nothing but the knife in her hand and exclaimed:

"Oh, thank the Goddess you're here! Honey, it's all right, you don't have to call anyone! The sacrifices have arrived!!! Come on in, guys, we really need you in the other room!"

The poor devils sent to convert her literally ran down the street, and left their bikes laying on her lawn. She was nice enough to return them later that day, but she was never bothered by another missionary again.

Answer 2

You should answer the door naked with 2 love dolls.

Answer 3

i substitute into thinking approximately getting some paper back copies of Darwin"s beginning of Species" and while Mormons or different missionaries come to my door with their literature i could provide them a replica.

Answer 4

Tell them that you are forbidden by God in the book of Deuteronomy to have anything to do with false prophets. That is less shocking than answering the door naked and just as effective.

Answer 5

You're so mean! Missionaries are great! it is a blessing when they visit our house. I wish they'd come everyday but they have more things to do so they come every thrusday at 6. That is their time, I do not work that day, at 6 I get out of YA, the whole internet, TV and whatever I am doing to listen to them, they always bring a new message and a possitive attitude. That is what I like the most about them, that their attitude is countageous. I wanna be a sister missionary someday so don't mess up with missionaries >:( they are my friends. ^_^

Answer 6

I had a copy of ancient astronauts book that had pictures of gold plates from aliens..

Well, these pictures looked like the same pictures they claim the angel Moroni gave to smith.

I have a weird sense of humor....I proceeded to convince them I was an alien and that those plates were stolen property from a space ship.

they never came back....

Answer 7

I answer the door very politely. If my fiance and his friends happen to be there, they all come up behind me and act very friendly and frisky with me while i go on like nothing is happening. Usually they get so uncomfortable they have to leave XD!

Answer 8

There is a local band where I live called Sleazus Fist and the Latter Day Taints...I put their bumper sticker on my door. I figure they don't like blasphemy.

Answer 9

Tell them you've already denied the Holy Spirit, according to the Bible that is an unforgivable sin, ONE WAY TICKET TO HELL, you're a lost cause to them, they'll leave you alone, assuredly.

Answer 10

Let them in and let them do their little spiel about God or whatever. Then ask them if they would like to join you in a Satanic ritual involving a virgin sacrifice.....Mormon's are usually virgins, right?