living will?

Question

Hi
I lost my mom to cancer 4 weeks back, and i had to make the decision of pulling the plugs, it was not pleasant as you might imagine, this is why i decided that i don’t want to put anyone in such case. After watching my mom die everyday and every hour i don’t want any tubs in me when i die, the question is how do you do a living will, do you need a lawyer? or can you just get it notarized from a notary public? Where do you keep it? what if i get into a car accident and i am taken to the emergency and they put those breathing machines and tubs in me and i am not awake? how would they know i have a living will?

Answer 1

Hi

Sorry for your loss of your mother. It is very hard to be in the position you were in.

A living will is a great thing to do for yourself so no one else will feel burdened with the choices you had to do for your mom. I know she appreciated all that you did for her.

A living will is a document that states very specifically who will decide on medical treatment when you cannot do so for yourself.
First off you need to choose two people to be your agents. They suggest 2 in case one is not available at the time of need. These two individuals must be very clear in understanding of what you want for yourself, and be clear it is not their position to change your choices when you cannot speak for yourself, so choose wisely.

Secondly, you need to think about what inteventions you want for what circumstances. Like if you are in a car accident and end up in a coma, but you do not require a respirator, what other treatment would you not want? For example a feeding tube, catheter in your bladder, treatment for infections when u got one.

What about if in the car accident you were put on a breathing machine, had all the bells and whistles to keep you alive because your brain was not damaged, but you have a number of broken bones.

What about if you have cancer....

After you have considered some options, talk to people who have survived these situations. Would they have done things differently?

Then write up what you want specifically. Talk to your family doctor about different things that can happen. Talk to him/her about what happen to your mom and the likelyhood that will happen to you.

You should get the docment notorized at least and keep the orginal in a safety deposit box, and a copy given to both of the people identifed as your decision makers. Carry a copy in the glove compartment of your car and your desk at work. Talk to people and let them know what choices you want and where they can find the document.

I"m sure your mother would not want you to live in fear of getting her illness. I'm sure she would want you to live as if this was the last day of your life. Forgive people who have hurt you, and think always of the good in yourself and people.

I hope your sadness will be short, and that the joyful things of the time you did share with your mom will take you through to a happier time.

god bless
Pam

Answer 2

Sorry for your loss and the difficult decision you had to make. A Notary Public could do it, and the Internet can do it, but likely better through your family doctor so it is on record. If you know which hospital is likely for you they can also put it on their records. Some leave a copy or note about it on their fridge so it is easily found in an emergency. There are guidelines on the Web and even a telephone connection for Advance Directives as it is also called. You could use a Medical Alert bracelet with that inscribed, and a card in your wallet with your id. Some Driver's Licenses have a place for that to be noted or if you want your body to be used as an organ donor. An idea of Compassionate Terminal Care instead of Do Not Resuscitate might be helpful when you make your living will. You might have more good ideas now for what you want while you are still grieving, so writing down now what you see would make things easier is helpful, and later you can get it into a document with your wishes with more formal guidelines.

Answer 3

You do not need a lawyer for this. You can get the forms on the web and have them notarized. Also your doctors office should have one as well. It is important that your doctor have a copy of this for any emergencies. Also, keep a copy locked somewhere safe and a copy in your purse or wallet when away or especially if you do not have a regular doctor. If you are unable to speak someone will go through your things and find it. It also a good idea to tell someone you trust where you are keeping the locked copy and if all else fails it can be retrieved. Any time there is thought that one exists then medical personnel are legally allowed to have someone open the locked area to verify this.
Further questions feel free to e-mail me

Answer 4

My deepest sympathy for your loss.

I have a living will and an AMD (Advanced Medical Directive) which I completed with the assistance of internet resources. I had both documents notarized. In the AMD I specifically stated my personal requests such as the use of medical drugs to alleviate pain, to non-resucitation. In your will you can also direct what type of interment service you would like (service type, flowers, songs etc.) and if you have a specific request to allocate a certain dollar amount from your account to pay for the service. It is always wise to get the assistance of an attorney especially if you are married and have a financial nest egg that you may designate to loved ones. I would notifiy a trusted family member or attorney if you have one of your living will and or AMD and provide them with a sealed copy if necessary. Keep a copy in a fireproof box and or in the safety deposit box in the bank and make sure you have the proper access for those will be your designated Executor of your estate. Also review your living will and or AMD when your lifestyle changes (illness, marriage, divorce etc.) Search the internet for assistance in creating your document. Good luck.

Answer 5

First of all, once you get a living will, you give a copy to your local hospital. And you give a copy to your family members and your doctors. And there is nothing stopping you from keeping one in your purse or car.

You should be able to have one done by a parralegal so it won't be so expensive. Call some of them in the yellow pages.

I am very sorry your mom and you had a hard time. I went through similar with my mom.

Answer 6

A living will can be witnessed and signed by a notary public.
When you do that go to your local hospital and ask for a medical power of attorney form. It will ask you to name two people that you wish to add. Fill that form out and you keep a copy of it. And let those to whom you have named your wishes and that you have a living will. Chose those that you can trust to carry out your finale wishes. And if you do not have a safety deposit box; you can put it into two Ziploc freezer bags and put it into the freezer section of your refrigerator. I was told by my life insurance agent to do this; because if a fire should break out that is the one of the places that the fire inspectors will look for the life insurance or other important documents if they need to find them.

Answer 7

the best way is to see a lawyer. i have been there with my mom